Saturday, December 31, 2005

Last evening the Chiefs came out on top of the Trenton Titans. From the way the announcer was talking it sounded like DesRochers was lighting things up and playing like he hasn't yet this season. He did pull in the first goal, upping himself to only 3 on the season (way behind his mark from last year, sadly) and Peterson or Zo (I've seen write ups crediting both) shifted into forward to score the other goal to give us the 2-1 win.

Today the Chiefs really inspired some hope rolling into January. January is usually the killer for most teams, hopefully what we've seen here tonight will carry forward. They not only took down the Columbia Inferno 7-4 but Rowe had a hat trick and Henrich came out w/ 2. Tallari and Demo helped round things out as well. It was just a good game all in all, and so nice to see the place packed.

Roche didn't quite have the presence on the ice tonight that it sounded like he had last night... but I'm also thinking he's gone a little stupid. I had a friend take the Bridgeport jersey to get signed and he seemed to think it was hers. Uh, you only wore one white and one blue while there, you KNOW I have the jersey. Duh. Not like I need more proof that the marbles that do exist are out of place. Silly boys.

Since the game started early I had plenty of time to grab some grub and head home long before midnight. I am tired as can be for whatever reason, so mayhaps I can watch the ball drop from the comfort of my warm fluffy bed.

"So, if I have a chance, would you let me know? -The Killers"

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Horror of horrors... the Schwan's mint pie has spent too long in the freezer. This is, of course, devastating. I have not even this as solace after seeing that the Penguins might actually win a game *HA*. Actually, I'm a little more troubled to see "placed on a non-roster spot" on the UHL transactions. What the hell does THAT mean? The position of "eye candy for a suga-mama" is still open, just so you know.

Things are pretty boring and quiet around here, but I'm still not sleeping super well at night. I think it's the tossing and turning giving me a sore back. Vixen is still carrying around her toy from Christmas. I think the most exciting thing lately is that it's been raining instead of snowing. For once I'd rather see a little bit of snow as my yard is re-appearing, and with that some mud - requiring the dogs to come in through the basement.

We also decided to start planning a little pass into Ohio late in January to catch the Preds in Columbus and mayhaps hitting the Dayton game the night before. Of course, if we head in that direction then we have to head towards Hershey or WBS in March. Oh Batesy! What was that you use to call him? Pansy boy? Bah.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Yesterday the lazy streak continued and I watched two movies that I have seen before, but it's been a while. I had actually forgotten how good of a movie Arlington Road is. Sometimes your paranoia is real indeed. This movie will always remind me of the days of first friday at the Westwood theatres. Changing Lanes, not as good of a story, but still a decent flick.

I was thinking some yesterday. I have a distinct memory from my childhood that was relevant. When I was younger the options in my neighborhood for kids to hang around with were usually several years younger. I remember running and playing one day when I made a comment to one of the kids (remember I'm a youngin here) to pretend something. Her mother overheard and told me that she's too old to pertend (yes PERtend). How sad is that?

I think only my ability to pretend gets me through sometimes, I employ it to this day. There are nights when left to my own internal dialog I'd never get to sleep. It's so much easier to lull myself out by creating a dream scenario in my mind. It's relaxing, it's distracting, and yes, it's pretending. Maybe that's why I'd rather stay in bed and dreamland than get up each morning. Reality never can compare with the design of a strong imagination. Is it wrong to pretend? At what age do we just start calling it delusional? Or, is it only delusional if I believe these things to be true? Thank God I remember how to pretend.

"The nightmare I build my own world to escape. -Evanescence"

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Ah Christmas. What a better time to be slothen and to catch up on movies. I ask you what is better than sitting in front of a movie with a bottle of Tawny Port? Yes, I have the requisite good chocolate thanks to a gift from my sister, but to top it off the other hand is holding a nice rich cup of holiday cheer flavored coffee with a healthy dose of irish creme. To make the house as cozy as possible I've opted for candles to light my evening, it works so well with horror flicks anyhow.

I slept well into the afternoon on Christmas eve, but I did manage to get the cables hooked up before heading to the evening church services. First we headed to my church and then on to Beff's. A little TV to polish off my evening and back to bed. Today I woke up and started a tasty dinner (I did depart from the originally planned hot dogs) of roasted chicken made with the tried and true Alton techniques typically for a turkey, candied yams, and a nice tomato salad. I didn't brine the bird, as that would have taken another day or so, but it was still quite tasty. A small holiday meal no doubt compared to what my mother would typically put on the table, but why make 10 dishes when you're cooking for yourself and two begging dogs.

An auction closed out earlier today too which I'm quite excited for. I do have some searches on ebay set to email me if new items appear, but this item would not be returned by any of those searches, which makes the fact that I received an email all the more odd. Nevermind that those reminder emails usually fire off when the item is added, not a day before it closes out. Either way, I'll take it... somehow I guess I was meant to see this listing. What a cute little baby face you have. This card will make a nice addition to my collection and should garner a surprised smile.

As dinner cooked I flipped on the Christmas tree lights and the girls opened their gifts. When dinner was ready I tossed in movie number 1: The new release of the Amittyville Horror. I am quite impressed with how they updated the film and didn't feel the need to stick with the same tired perspective as the original from the late 70's had. They did hold true to a few areas that are critical to still allow one to call this the Amittyville Horror. Excellent usage of scenes with Ryan Reynolds' shirt off. That alone ranks five stars.

Movie number 2: The Devil's Rejects. There is little in this film that someone who did not already watch House of 1000 Corpses would not get, but there are tidbits that are easier to "get" if you've seen Rob Zombie's first flick. Mayhaps my demand for gore is excessive, but I was a little let down by this flick. Not that the first movie was laden with gore, and it's not a sequel per se, but you still have to step it up a notch.

Movie number 3: Cursed. I've always been more of a fan of vampire flicks werewolves. I guess the closest I've come is enjoying the crossover between the two, Underworld. Cursed ruled... let me count the ways. First, it's Wes Craven. I've long since been a fan of his work. Christina Ricci, the ultimate little gothy chic, is in it. It was actually quite entertaining right down to the downfall of the 'beast' being the cattiness of women. Another female lead played Fern/Vylette in Jawbreaker, another b*tchy chic movie that I dig. Finally, my goodness did the hottie bouncer guy with the quickie part look like Paulie. Yum. Judging from IMDb the guy's name is Egan Friedlander, but no photos... rats.

On a final note I'll point out that there was NOT a single gift under my tree wrapped only in a blue bow. Booo.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

The past two days has been pretty busy running around, but I guess that's to be expected with the holidays upon us. I headed out after work Thursday to meet up with Beff and Slippy for a nice dinner at Rizzo's before we stopped in at Beff's to swap gifts. It was proven just how good of a girl I've been all year as I scored a gorgeous opal ring, my very own putter, the NHL monopoly game, and a worthy "replacement" for my old tattered and abused Clarion sweatshirt. I say "replacement" because you know darn well I can't toss the old one, but I will stick to wearing it only while I'm cleaning etc.

Friday, my first vacation day, I was on the search for a stinking filter for my humidifier. I'm pretty sure the items I ordered from Amazon that are on backorder until February are waiting for this filter. So I guess I'll split the order, and try to find the filter somewhere else. Of course, somewhere else means double the price (plus shipping) since none of the local stores carry the darn thing. At least I will be able to breathe at night and sleep through. I guess it's a worthy investment.

After getting a quick haircut it was then off to Mithy's with some chinese food in hand where I left with a bottle of Vicki's perfume, the stuff I just ran out of not too long ago! During my afternoon down time, I cleaned up in the living room and arranged around a new rug that I found on sale. I'm glad I bought it, because Satin sure finds it more appealing to sleep on than her new bed. The living room looks much nicer. Again I wonder what the crack smokin' beotch who owned this place before us was thinking when she bought mauve carpet.

My two Christmas gifts to myself (neither of which I expected to get here before Christmas) arrived as well, so I have a new stockpile of fabulous wine from Cranberry Wine and Gift Store and a cutie shirt from the River Otters. As to the wine, I've had their wine before and found all we had ordered to be quite tasty. They are, after all, folks in the same vein as my brewing inspiration... the odder the fruit the better the wine. Who needs grapes? I just ordered the River Otters stuff Thursday, I can't believe it got here from Missouri by Friday - now THAT is fast.

A few hours later and it's time to head to the Law's! On the way another quest started, since I've also discovered in another delivery a nice new DVD/VCR that I requested for my bedroom (thanks sis *grin*) I now need cables. Here is where the rant starts (shocking huh, I'm several paragraphs into this post and it's just now coming out). First, I'll repeat how much I hate Circuit Sh*tty. Of course, I hate Walmart more, so in order to avoid the greater evil I first stopped at CS in my quest to find cables that I'll need to hook this thing up. After all, there is still three days of vacation, I'll be wanting to watch movies. These idiots actually think that any self-respecting audio/visual aficionado would actually shop in their hellhole to the extent that they have the audacity to only carry high end cables (starting at $40). Are you insane? The player was probably $90. I'm not spending another 50% of that for cables! Ugh. So, I try a few other places to no avail... what remains but the dreaded Walmart.

So I proceed to the Laws with the hopes that a later hour trip to the Walmart will prove to be less painful than the normal shopping hours. Thank God for the Laws, there isn't a family (yes, family... people with children) that I'd rather spend time with. It was sad to walk in and not be greated by Ripley, but their house was still quite the welcoming home. Now that Jacob is quite apt at locating his own presents, he hunted everything down and I was pleased to see I did good. Heck, even Brian liked Jacob's gifts. I also left there with quite the haul. I am now the proud owner of more booze with which to create delightful martinis in my new glasses, Law-brew, and beautiful glass pumpkin ornaments. As I said before, I've been a very VERY good girl this year. Here's to being naughty in 2006. Volunteers to help me out?

I would proceed with a Walmart discussion, but I'd rather end this entry on a positive note. My gift to you, dear reader. Merry Christmas :) Post Walmart, I was inspired to stop in and snag some new movies from Blockbuster, now that I have the player, the cables, and the booze. Movie reviews - forthcoming!

Thursday, December 22, 2005

The eternal discussion, does one listen to sad music because they are sad, or are they sad because they listen to sad music? I never can seem to tear myself away from some tunes that fall into this category, the ones that bring me to tears 4/5 times I listen to them, but I just love the song/band. Damn you anyhow Coldplay.

To my vacationing regular visitor (if you're reading while away), I didn't get to wish you a Merry Christmas due to avoidance strategies after the last game. Do pass my greetings along to Z. Have a safe one and we'll see you on New Years. Good luck on the return trip... try not to hurt anyone I wouldn't hurt.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

I knew there was a reason I still watch southpark. I love the ones making fun of Canada (with their flapping heads and beady eyes). *sorry guys* The French Canada part this evening's episode was priceless, particularly the "French Canadians are a little odd". Amen brotha. Think poutine... and they think burgh'ers are wacky for the gravy alone (the things you learn during post game discussions).

I saw earlier today that Henrich and Kelly are heading back up to Springfield. I wonder how much that messed with their holiday plans. To get me through the local hockeyless boredom I'll be listening to the Marlies and Otters for a few days. That'll do for now. Yawn. This could end up being a very long weekend.
Boys took out Charlotte last evening, good game... a few scraps. It's unfortunate that the few folks we asked knew little (and seemed to care little) about Caponigri's status after zonking his head on the ice - be well Paul. Everyone avoided Worrell like the plague, I think the only person I saw ride him on the boards was Roche, which was surprising, but good for him for not treating the guy differently than any other player. He didn't seem too into the game anyhow (Worrell that is). Too bad we don't still have JT here, that would have been a hell of a fight.

While Beff didn't win Satin and Vixen a holiday ham, she did manage to score a pack of franks. We're having Christmas dinner at my place after all *smile* Some of the entertainment and post game things this season are rather comical, but it puts cheesey grins on everyone's faces.

Special thanks to Steve and Matt who hauled all the way up from Charlotte. Nice meeting you gentlemen. Sorry our town is a bit dead on weeknights, but I hope you enjoyed the huge-ass taco and the projectile hurling conversation.

Slipster passed this along, I've seen it in years past, but it's worth a second smile. Proceed with caution as it is a bit explicit, but in all the right ways.

"Cause you can't take that stuff to Canada. No you can't take it anywhere. -Low"

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

So there is this guy I know, but he's seeing someone. (Sound familiar... isn't it always the way?) I guess if I could learn anything from lesson's past taught from the other side of the door I could just do everything in my power to steal him. Maybe tell him he reminds me of some guy pictured on the front of a trashy romance novel or pout around the office telling people that he's "my soulmate" and how "I deserve him more than she does". Ooh, I can find some herb or spice he likes the smell of and make it into a huge production with my similar adoration.

The difference? Unlike some, I just can't "steal" someone. I guess I just don't have it in me - while others it doesn't even matter if there are marriage vows exchanged (I'll definitely never be THAT type of ... I would say girl, but that seems too sterile and kind ... insert nasty word here (homewrecker etc)).

I've had quite a few dreams lately of being somewhere else. A new home etc... Change. Is change what is absolutely required to break out of my current slump? I know it's bad when I end up running late because I can't tear myself out of bed... the potential to stay in dreamland for another hour far outweighs any good that can come from getting up and facing the day. I looked up at the sky as I was leaving the grocery store last night and it was absolutely beautiful. I've seen a ton of amazing sunsets, but then I instantly am saddened by them. I guess beauty IS meant to be shared.

"Do you ever question your life? Do you ever wonder why? -Ian Van Dahl"

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Not a stellar weekend for the Chiefs... and a rather boring one for me, but so far, boring in an okay way. The boys looked good on Friday night, I'll give them that, without a doubt. It was a thriller to see the score tie back up in the last seconds of the game. Roche broke his drought, scoring the first goal, and scoring in the shootout, but to no success for the team. Boutin played an amazing game but fell after seeming to get rattled by a shot sneaking by in the shootout, and then two more.

Mayhaps a muse spoke and was heard. The muse, when using the restroom, has a knowing smirk, this is how you will recognize her. She can clear a room within seconds.

Saturday the boys headed to Wheeling while Beff and I worked on more posters. Ok, actually I procrastinated and we tried to shop for the last couple gifts I need and THEN we worked on posters. Today, with the exception of leaving to eat dinner with Beff and Slippy I did pretty much nothing. It does look like I will have an exceptional grade on the semester, so I'm pleased and can relax a bit, at least until the next semester starts up. I guess going back to that place tomorrow will give me something to do, but I still wish I could pass.

I'm sure I've typed it at some point, my quandry over if a small change in what you've ever said or done would change everything. A chain of events has been set into motion. Regardless I was part of that series. It may produce true happiness for some, which I've said would make me happy, or it may start the end game. What will it be?

"Oh, don't you put me on the backburner. You know you've got to help me out. -The Killers"

Friday, December 16, 2005

If I could I would pose to my long lost love this question... do you remember being told "then this may not be where you should be working"? Yep. I heard that again. The shift back to valuing business development and "professional development time" seems to be a value of my new superior. I don't know where I want to be in 5 years. But I promise, if you asked me 5 years ago the same question I would not have said in Johnstown working for XYZ again. The answer to that question, for me, has never had anything to do with my job. I'm not driven to get remarried at this point, or pop out kids - so that's not what I mean - I just have a view of "where I am" to be more than my job. My job is just what I do during the day in order to financially support the "where I am".

Because I refuse to put this two hour conversation in the professional development time category (since it appears to be a weekly ritual) and I am not going to get myself in trouble for improperly completing my timesheet, the time is instead going to overhead. I'm sure that will please people, but at least it might give me an angle to say "if my option is to make up the time - then you have 5 minutes, 10 tops... now get out of my cube".

At least it's Friday and we didn't get anywhere near the amount of snow they called for. There is so little moisture in the air I feel like a rawhide raisin. I peeled a clementine this morning and allowed it to sit on my desk during my aforementioned two hour talk. By the time I went to pick it up the segments felt crunchy on the outside.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

So last night Boutin got his second shutout. Good work boots and good work to Kelly for the only goal, but that's all it took to win! We're now within one point of the Trenton Titans in standings as well. This season isn't a loss in my opinion despite a slower start than many would have liked. If we could just keep guys off of IR I think we might have a fighting chance. Last night Spence looked a bit off of his legs fairly often, one of the curses of returning to the ice after injuries I suppose. Cygan and Rowe are down and out for a short stint. Peterson dropped the gloves too, maybe this is just an attempt to get all of the least likely to fight a few minutes in the sin bin. Granted Peterson scrapping isn't as odd to me as Roche, but it still shocked me.

At the game I pointed out the creepy guys to a couple friends and got confirmation that I'm not imagining things. I told you I draw wierdos. What I've said or done that warrants a strange look and shared laugh/smile between the two of them every time we pass in the hall I will never understand. I would have dismissed this totally had they not started sitting closer to the section in which I have my season ticket. For all I know one of them could be the wacko that sent me a picture of myself over instant messenger last season.

Also at the game, I'm waiting for my chatty friends *grin* and this lady says "we're still using your car". I was puzzled for a second but then my inability to remember faces faltered and I realized this is the mother of the guy who bought my Avenger! I was so happy to hear she's still running and doing well for him. God I miss that car. I even mentioned her yesterday over lunch. Pretty sad huh. I guess the tie is that it was my first brand new vehicle and I paid for her by myself.

This relates to a discussion we had last night about how easily we attach to things and people. Sometimes the need to feel connected outweighs the realization that you're wasting your time, emotion, and effort. Isn't life about a series of connections really? I firmly believe that there are some people that are suppose to be in your life, that you almost circle around one another until you cross paths if you're MEANT to meet. It's a bit like the movie Final Destination and the whole 'design' of death, but more from a life perspective. So if you ever feel the strong draw to pass along a word of encouragement to an acquaintance or to do something out of character like approach someone to say hi and introduce yourself - do it.

"If the answer is no, can I change your mind? -The Killers"

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Crazy ass dog. So I basically have to pry Satin out of bed this morning, she likes that round bed in the corner a little too much. After she finally heads outside she proceeds to make snow puppies across the lawn. Watching her roll in the snow like a little kid definitely puts a smile on my face, I don't think my nine year old dog will ever act 110% old.

To further the scene the sky was a brilliant bright pink this morning when I first got up. While utterly beautiful I do heed the whole "pink sky in the morning" theory. Thusly, I will be swearing about additional snow before we know it.

Of all people, last night I got to sit and chat with Mithy for a while. It was nice to have an evening when I got to sit on the couch and not do anything. Dealing with an actual attempt to relax by having someone to talk to was very comforting. I will definitely be going insane during my weeks off and reporting that I've watched every DVD I own.

"Trust me. I'm not okay. I'm not okay. I'm not okay. I'm not o-f*ckin-kay. -My Chemical Romance"

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

I had a good time this evening despite many of the guys opting to leave pretty fast after dinner. I figured the “new rules” would result in as much. But, a few did hang and made the party a good evening by partaking in karaoke and dancing.

I was shocked however that the regular routine of one party goer was slightly different than usual… arrive late, but don’t leave early! Shocking. It wasn’t from lack of trying, don’t fool yourself. In order to demonstrate distain for the group, just bring your own friends. That’s a wise solution. All I can see is adoration from one end and apathy from the other. When pouring on the adoration, you need not tap me on the shoulder, hit me in the back, or kick my chair to get my attention and ensure I see it, I am not blind. Like a train wreck there was no way I could have looked away. I question why someone would make such overtures to get something back they once again seem to not want. The sad part is the display required moving down a couple seats to give me a clear view. Thanks for making the extra effort just for me.

Beff again had people offering to hook her up. I know I’m not the super gentile feminine gal (aka everyone’s ideal with fake nails, well practiced smile, and ditzy hair twirl), but some things make me feel like a spec of dust. I also had the pleasure of being uninvited to a new years eve shindig today. Ok, I didn’t even get the uninvite, I moreso found it out myself.

To make me frown one last time, in the later hours of this evening I realized (now that it’s past midnight) that it’s my new anniversary. As proud as I was to have forgotten the would-be “real” one back in October, it’s just as stunning to realize how quickly I realized it was December 13th. Three years, seems like forever, seems like yesterday.

Since I didn’t reply to the “See ya later babe.”... “Good night buttercup.”

“So build me up, buttercup, don’t break my heart. -The Foundations”

Sunday, December 11, 2005

It's time to make the cookies. Luckily I baked the ones I intended for tomorrow's party first, as the second batch, following a recipe off the bag of chocolate chips was a complete failure. I should know better than to follow anything other than nestle's recipe with the requisite extra 1/4 cup of flour. Two of my good cookie trays are now soaking and looking a heck of a lot more like the old cookie trays you keep to put under items that might bubble over while baking.

It's sad that despite a lot of the things on my list being cleared off I still had a bit of panic last night while lying in bed. I guess now I can focus on all of the stuff at work that needs finished.

Time for hockey as the boys are in Toledo today. Why exactly is 850 playing freaking football? Damnit. That's what the online feed is too. Time to tune in through Toledo's site.
After a rather abysmal loss to the Royals on Friday, the boys more than redeemed themselves against the Bombers. I hadn't really thought about it in advance, but we had former Chiefs Van Hoof and Latulippe on their roster, that always makes for a deeper "win" feeling in my book.

The shocker tonight? Roche fought. I about crapped my pants. Clearly this is not something that he's had to deal with often, if ever before, but I'll give the guy credit for giving it a go and not taking Herneisen's crap. I think he enjoyed it a bit too much as he eagerly told me to "watch it or he'd beat me up" after the game. Sadly I think we all know who the victor would be in that battle. Too bad some people show up late to the game and leave early, or they'd actually see these things take place.

Again I ask, why bother to even show up. But if I'm questioning the idiocy there, I had best question the idiocy of someone who would want to be with someone with such lack-luster desire to see them. I repeat this thought often, don't I? Ironically, I guess the lesson learned here is obvious. I always say I can't take my own advice.

Earlier today, since my paper was submitted I did some light cleaning and pulled out Christmas decorations. I wrapped up a few more gifts and loaded what I have under the tree. I even hauled out the now over a year old snow blower and took the 20 minutes to figure out how to start the damn thing and cleared a good bit of the snow from the driveway. Then again I think I cleared a good bit of the gravel too, but it's all good. Now, for the second night this weekend I head to turn in WAY too late. Tomorrow I have cookies to make in preparation for Monday night. At least many of the things that stressed me greatly are clearing from my plate right now, even if I do have a few other things starting to scoop themselves on.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Procrastination does prove to offer some funny results. So I run with Beth so she can get a new fish and to Denny's for a quick dinner. This is a good one, so stick with me. When we get there, I notice a hand written sign saying that due to the storm that hasn't hit yet their delivery trucks aren't coming and they might be out of things. I couldn't finish reading the sign because I had to rant a bit about how pathetic and North Carolina like that preemptive strike due to potential bad weather was. It's cold. WAH! It's Johnstown. (This is where you expect me to launch into the walking uphill both ways to school in 4 feet of snow speech, but no.

So on the way out I finish reading the sign. The last line, written off on its own reads: "Thank you for being a valid customer." Needless to say, this gets me laughing and I point this out to the girl at the register. She says "you're the first person to notice that! I think she meant 'valued'." (well, duh sherlock) Then she says, oh this is good...

"Valid, what's the opposite of valid? Invalid (pronounced in valid as in null or void)... but that means you can't read." Clearly she MEANT invalid as in the sense of incapacitated, but how ironic is it that she thought invalid thought you couldn't read? ILLITERATE you freaking moron.

Laughing, pretty much right in her face, was completely unavoidable. Fortunately, she didn't even realize I was laughing at her. I'm sure she thinks I just had way to big of a laugh over a stupid mistake on a sign. Does finding this incident so uncontrollably laughable make me an ellitist snot? If so, I'm honestly okay with it at this moment.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Vegas was shiney and all of those things that I so typically adore, but I’m not much of a gambler, so it wasn’t all that to me. I didn’t have time in advance to do some research or I’m sure I could have found things I wanted to go do, but instead I just spent a few days watching my co-travelers gamble and trying to catch up on sleep. The boys lost in Vegas, 4-0. The trip back went smoothly, and quickly. So at least that’s done, and I even managed to finish reading From a Buick 8.

I’m so out of it lately, I don’t know if I am just looped from vacationing or what, but I can’t believe I have to get back to work tomorrow. It’s December 7th already… good God!

Further, here I am again sucked back in and pouty. Why I would be as such over anything that resorts to 7th grade tactics, I’ll never know, but I’m a retard. Anyone who will only talk to me when others aren’t able to notice… why bother, right? It’s just the stupid little things that draw me in. I guess when all you have is the little things it’s easier to become absorbed.

I think it's time to try and get some sleep since it's clear that in this mood and loopy feeling I'll never get anywhere on the paper tonight. Time is short short short. *sigh*

Monday, December 05, 2005

I didn't do much today outside of the hotel room besides the game, there was a good deal of things to catch up on right here on the computer. At least I got some items out of the way that would otherwise distract me upon my return home from getting my butt in gear to wrap up the last section of my paper. One of the small things I decided to accomplish with my free high speed access in the room... vacation photos, or at least the ones I'm willing to share.

Gratefully, the Chiefs decided to take vengance against the Gulls after last night's whooping of 7-1 and we came out on top with a final score of 5-4 after the shoot out. Who do believe in voodoo? You do! After being convinced to lift my evil eye for a few minutes there was in fact some assistance from the object of said evil eye in winning the game. ooooh, my vast powers. *laugh*

Tomorrow it's on to Vegas. I can't say I'm overly excited as I'm not the gambling type and I don't really have someone specific to try and set things up to go see with (it's easier with just a pair or three to come up with a game plan). I'm sure I'll enjoy the lights, anything shiney pretty much guarantees my enjoyment, but there isn't anything other than the game on my to do list at this point.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Today was a bit chilly, but only enough so to warrant a sweatshirt... no coat and no snow. We started the morning watching what could pass as a parade but involved about 200 police cars. Honestly, it was suppose to be a parade, the sirens blaring etc... and a few of them trying to use the siren/horns to honk out jingle bells. I'm glad I wasn't still in bed, that would have been a rude awakening. A group of us then, after watching this unique parade, headed to the San Diego zoo which was pretty darn nice.

Shortly there after it was time to get ready to head across the street to the arena for the first game against San Diego. Unfortunately we pretty much had our butts handed to us (7-1). There was a good number of poor calls, you'd swear we brought Nigel with us. How do San Diego fans throw not one but two bottles out on the ice and not get called for a bench minor? I digress.

From there a moment spent waiting to greet the boys and over to Chilis to eat in the same room as them, oh gee, thanks. I'm honestly not too into the dealing with any of it aspect at this stage. I'm happy to be here and happy to see them play - it's just the off-ice politics I could be perfectly happy steering clear of.

It's like hanging out w/ Leonard. When I was nice to him he treated me like crap, when I treated him like crap he was sweet and talkative. Same applies here. Yes, there was a monkey that we joked reminded us of you... it was posing for the camera. Ah, egos... how fragile but yet so completely able to control your every thought, action, and word.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

I am posting some back entries to cover my cruise vacation. So, be sure to back pedal a little in order to catch all of the updates!

Today, we arrived in San Diego, 24 of us that is. It was a good flight. I've never flown Southwest before. While I am not overly fond of rushing for a good seat (i.e. no assigned seating) I did find having both gate staff and on airline personnel with a sense of humor quite refreshing.

It was funnier still to watch a group of guys board the plane at our change over in Chicago that I affectionately refer to as long haired hippie freaks knowing full well this HAD to be a band. Yes, in fact it was. The band in question is called the "Usurpers". I will be checking into their website at a minimum just to see what the deal is there. The ones sitting near me or floating up near me to talk to other members seemed pretty nice. The one was so completely trash drunk before getting on the plane we then saw him in a wheelchair at the baggage claim. Keep in mind, this is Chicago to San Diego... a 4+ hour flight and he was still canned. Nice. That is mad f'n skills.

We got checked into the hotel and headed across the highway for dinner when Mike and I noticed a Japanese joint in the plaza. Needless to say, the call of sushi outweighed that to hang with the full gang... but there is still plenty of time for all of that. Besides, my roomie will be sick of me by the end of the week as is.

We grubbed and headed back towards theh rooms when we were lured to a little bar next to the hotel. I don't know what type of beer it was, supposedly a local brew, but quite tasty. 4 beers later we headed back to the room and here I am ... ready to fall over dead tired after chatting with an older Navy gentlemen for a good part of the evening. How proud my client would be to know I'm out hobknobbing w/ SPAWAR San Diego folk on my vacation! I am a very VERY tired girl today. Sleep will be quite comforting. Damn the time change anyhow. (It's 10:20pm local time.)

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Ah to summarize this day... travel! We headed off the boat fairly early in the morning and to the Everglades for our final excursion. While we didn't get to see a gator while out in the wild on our airboat ride, it was still a good experience. We did get to see some of the captive gators instead.

I arrived back to Johnstown at 11:30 at night with a ton of things on my to do list, so I crawled into bed around 2am in order to get up bright and shiney at 6am to head out on the second leg of my vacation. Relaxed? Yes. Tired... unfortunately, yes. But, no problem mon, everything is irie.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Day 5 - at sea
We slept in a wee bit today but then followed this up with even more mass consumption. I told you I planned on enjoying the food this trip and I darn well did - to the tune of four pounds. Ouch. I'm single either way, so what difference does it REALLY make?

We did make some time to get in the hot tub despite the rather windy weather up on deck. It still beats the hella cold weather back home.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Day 4 - Grand Cayman
Loved the island... I will need to return here some day to get the snorkeling in. We had such an eventful day, I think I'll stick to the highlights. First we headed out on our excursion: "Stingray City and Island Tour".

For the stingrays we headed out to the area where they congregrate and went into a semi-submersible where we watched them swim and had a diver bring them up along the boat. Damn their cute for such a goofy looking creature. From there we also hit the turtle farm where I was able to hold a smaller turtle and to see some huge buggers. Finally, the excursion took us to hell where we were able to mail out our postcards. I told ya'll that's where I'm headed someday.

From there we stepped out on our own, grabbing some lunch at the hard rock (so Slippy could get her pin) and then to find the butterfly farm... many more great flutterby photos coming soon with any luck. Then some shopping! I picked up an ammolite ring, beautiful stuff... my own little piece of Canada as it were. A few other small items were to be had before climbing back on the ship.

Dinner this evening, yum... lobster. I swapped out my shrimp for steak to perfect the meal. I also headed up to the spa to take advantage of my freebie package which had me totally chilled out once all said and done.

Monday, November 28, 2005

Day 3 - Ocho Rios, Jamaica
I am not surprised that I didn't find Jamaica to be a place I want to head back to... it's a very poor country and it shows to the point of making me feel VERY uncomfortable. It is however, still a very beautiful place. Upon arriving we headed on our tour: "Sweet Jamaica Country Style" where we hit a large farm and got a good view of the island. From there it headed to what is the bane of Jamaica a little sh*t-hole craft market which was annoying as all get out. Let's just leave it at that. From there it was on to Dunns River Falls, which was really neat to see, but nowhere near like the waterfalls I experienced last year in Hawaii. We did at least get ourselves out to the beach while at Dunns River Falls at least for a photo or two.

One good thing about Jamaica? Good/cheap coffee and rum. Needless to say a good portion of each was procured to load up my luggage.

Another delightful dinner of lamb. Did I mention I love the food on these damn ships. At least I get to try different things without feeling guilty.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Day 2 - at sea
Our first full day on the ship... we slept in a little and relaxed by the pool a bit, where I completely polished off my book (Lewis Black's Nothing Sacred - this many is too damn funny, just for the record).

We hit the shopping guide session so I knew what I needed to hunt down while in port and I scored a free chocolate flavored rum cake for knowing the answer to one of the questions :) God bless free stuff.

Tonight I partook of the duck, which was quite delightful. Yes, I also ate some of the Slipster's escargot appetizer. I also headed to the on ship store to prepare my post cards and to snag the last couple bottles of kahlua. Duty free shopping rules.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Day 1 - Boarding the ship
Today, the Slipster, Beff, Cindi, Eric, and I headed out to catch up with the Enchantment of the Seas. I was thrilled as we familiarized ourselves with the ship to see we were assigned for dinner right next to the captain's table in the very middle of the dining hall... fabulous seats! Further still in getting the signatures during our familiarization my name was then drawn at the show, winning me a spa package!

I do have to report some disappointments with the Enchantment however, I guess it is the curse of a ship that has been enlarged. The dance club was not well designed, allowing little area with clear visibility onto the dance floor and insufficient space for all in attendance. This area, to my knowledge was not altered when the ship was stretched earlier this year.

Royal Caribbean has changed a few things, such as the late seating now having an earlier show and a lack of church services on Sunday which peeved me, but all and all I am still very pleased and looking forward to my next trip on RC. The earlier show time resulted in quite a few conflicts with other events we would have wanted to hit... I guess next time I'll take the early seating. Time to start thinking about where I want to head next :)

Friday, November 25, 2005

Day T-1: Heading to FLL
Today Beff, Slipster, and I headed to the burgh through a bit of a mess of snow to head south. We were greeted early in the day by a major hottie in line at the ticket counter who then joined our plane... married, go figure. I guess if I were a lesser woman I wouldn't let that bother me in the least, but some of us have scruples.

A few small highlights:
1). The completely tacky flamingo laden van which took us to our hotel.
2). The older lady who got messed on a bottle of wine at Rendevous (where we had dinner) and was stumbling out w/ her husband who then smacked her butt.
3). Red velvet cake at the Atlanta airport between flights. God, I miss the south.
4). Needless to say when we saw the ad we thought it was targeted at Beff... boy were we surprised. Someone in marketing really should have thought this one through a little more before buying the domain name.

I also have to send my kudos to the staff aboard our flight on AirTran. I have never seen such a patient group of people. They dealt so well with the folks around me that would have been a challenge to any staff one at a time, but in triplicate... quite amazing.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

I'm back home and winding things down for the evening. Thanksgiving dinner was good, it's been a while since I've had mom's cooking. I did get to eat sushi last night for dinner as well. I also managed to eventually get the online feed of the game to work. When I tuned in we were up 1-0 with a goal from Tallari. From there, downhill and we lost 2-1 against the Titans. I do wonder if it's just because I was listening. I guess we'll find out since I'll miss a few games.

Satin had to, of course, prove me right within 24 hours of the start of our visit. I'm awoken from a turkey induced afternoon nap to my mother telling me she's gone. WHAT? Needless to say the leash system my uncle set up was, as expected, completely insufficient. I was lucky enough with a prayer, the car, and a leash to see her just two blocks from the house totally enthralled with a couple kids who were smart enough to catch her in their fenced yard.

She scares me too much. I wouldn't be surprised if she stopped and looked both ways before she crossed the highway, but I'd rather know she's not going to get the chance again. The rush out the door without a coat, adrenaline, and the cold weather had me coughing up a lung and realizing how bad this _thing_ is that has settled into my chest. I have red blotches in my eyes, so now I have to wonder if I managed to burst a blood vessel with my hacking post event.

The roads were a mess coming back from Altoona. I won't miss the snow, ice, and cold.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

I'm afraid. Some of the things people happen upon my blog while searching for. The most recent search criteria deserving mention is "bosses spanking employees". Wow. If I had relevant commentary that fits in there I am a little concerned!

So last evening I came home and tried to make the long overdue repairs in the apartment. I know Brian, I know... it's about time. Of course I'm a dumbass, and I need to go back over there again tonight to repair my repairs. A plumber I am not. I did successfully change the smoke detector battery. Go me. As much as I hate it at times, I'll stick with my day-job.

I keep thinking of other things I need to do before vacation too. Funny how those things compound. I am really wishing the gutter guards had gone up this summer and I didn't have to climb up on the roof to clean them out. I am not good with heights, couple that with a crappy task in and of itself and I'm not a happy camper. Although, I guess a little bit of inconvenience is better than having gutters filled with ice and leaves being ripped down off of the house come February.

Section 4 of the paper is in final stages. So that should get turned in with plenty of time to allow me a few hours on the already started section 5 before going away. I can completely invision my insanity after the semester ends - not having things to do every night and the simultaneous break in the hockey season will likely make me snap.

"Look at me, see me. Look at me, save me. -The Corrs"

Monday, November 21, 2005

I've read my friend Angela's blog and now I'm sitting at work in tears. I've always said I liked dogs more than people - I genuinely feel that way all too often. With that I just want to offer up my love to their family during a very difficult time. I can't fathom making a difficult decision like having one of my girls put to sleep, but I understand the potential pain that sweet Ripley may be in.

Allow me to share with the world the smiling face of this lovely lady, and a fond memory I have of when she was tiny and we babysat. I can easily say Ripley not only changed my opinion of Dobermans completely, but she also inspired us to get our second dog, Vixen. She and Vixen have a lot in common personality-wise, as they're both content to just put their heads on your knee for attention and they both love to eat their dinner with a fervor. Vixen is just a bit younger than Ripley and it breaks my heart to even consider the mortality of one of my girls.

Don't let the spiked collar she wore fool you (not in these photos), Ripley was a gentle spirit who was ALWAYS happy to see me. For that she will live on forever in my heart.

God bless Ripley... all of my love.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

You know I'm busy when I'm not blogging. Three days of PMt training done. I'm a little frustrated to have lost my Saturday to it, but at least it's over. I no longer have to listen to the farty sounding guy or the strange voice clears, or the balding guy's head w/ the lumpy growth - how EXACTLY do you brush your hair w/o that getting ripped off. Ew.

So the Chiefs beat the Stingrays last night 4-1. Fabulous work by Kelly, Egener, Henrich, and Toffey who tallied goals gave us the win. I was a bit peeved however, as we noticed when we got there that a few posters we had just made were ripped down by the morons who used the facility the day before. Quite displeased. I'd be pissed either way, but the fact that I gave up an evening that could have been spent working on my paper to work on posters chapped me all the more.

We had a few shakeups too in which David Currie headed to Victoria and Jeremy Downs was waived, not traded, as I had previously found in advance of announcements.

I've become list-lady this week so I have a CHANCE of getting things done and pulled together before going away. There is still just SO much to do. Speaking of which, time to get on it. Must get things done around the house before the game comes on the radio tonight and get working on my paper (again).

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

A long strange day it was indeed. Just shy of lunch the alarms started going off... with the weather as crappy as it has been, I didn't think it was necessarily a drill and indeed it wasn't. So after standing outside for a little while that the building needed vented after the chemicals in the comm rooms went off to mitigate a ups system that fried.

Ok, so back to the grind for the afternoon and then off to work on more posters and running the dog to the vet. How an evening spent doing such things can feel relaxing I don't know, but it was. At least I crossed a few more things off of my list (even if late evening searches for those darn timers has still produced nothing).

Time to get some rest. My PMt training starts tomorrow. Fun fun. I really loathe the idea of giving up part of my weekend for this, especially when I still have another section of my paper to wrap up before going away. Expect grumpy posts as the week draws on.

Monday, November 14, 2005

I truly hate the simple truth that, as a female, I lose my mind once a month. A subject many would avoid or try to hide, but why? We all go completely insane. Any woman who claims she does not, steer clear my friend - they are likely to be completely bent, and since they don't realize they're mental they haven't the common sense to apologize for it.

I am in major procrastination/run in circles stage. There is so much to do in the next 10 days I feel completely overwhelmed again. I decided to try and find my timers for the lights this evening. I've scoured the house, everywhere that I could have possibly placed them - they were not to be found. I did, instead, find my butterfly knife, a few other odds and ends I thought lost forever, and the box of cards from my wedding. Not the most enjoyable discovery at this unhinged point in time. I was foolish enough last night to flip backwards in my journal (my offline blog as it were). I still don't understand how I survived that time. I don't even remember writing many of the things in there, true proof the me I know was long gone. During life changing events I truly believe people learn how strong they are, and how weak - the terrible things they are quite capable of.

I even had a moment of angst over the upcoming Christmas here by myself, just me, the dogs, and a fake tree. Amusingly, when I'm not suffering uncontrollable moods I find the concept preferable. I just can't get into Christmas anymore. I got through a Christmas alone two years ago without an issue. Ok, I wasn't alone, I was seeing someone at the time and they came back to town to spend time with me. Anything is better than the Christmas before it. Maybe someday I'll enjoy the holidays again. I won't hold my breath as the missing piece seems to elude me time and again.

I did have some excellent news this morning as I received what I consider to be a stellar grade on the second section of my paper. Of course, this just makes me stress all the more about section three. See? I told you - complete mental job.

Now, where are those damn timers.

"Precious and fragile things need special handling. -Depeche Mode"

Sunday, November 13, 2005

I'm feeling vile today. I did get up for church, at least. Last night, we lost to Wheeling, today we lost to Wheeling again. I had a heck of a headache nagging at me today and took a bit of a nap falling asleep for part of the game instead of busting on my paper as originally planned. I'm starting to loose hope in this section of my paper, I just can't find the good research materials I need. Back to work tomorrow. A full week. Eep. Only a few nights left to gather what I need and finish this up.

I've been thinking most of the day too about people who have something to say but would never say it to your face. Throughout my life I've dealt with people who thought they were so above me that they wouldn't acknowledge my existence to even speak to me. Those are usually the people who tend to then end up with an opinion and the lack of cahones to come say something. On the other hand, the worse ones are the ones who instead think it's kosher to speak to your friends like somehow it makes them look sweet and nice whereas YOU'RE the bitch.

I did manage to get the jersey I was to bid on last night. Clearly my bidding surprised some people. I even got the casual glance up in hopes of a bid on another jersey mayhaps? I figured I'd leave your other half bid on that... where was she by the way? She left a bit prematurely, no? I would assume so since there was time to wander in the hall post auction. I guess someone thought I'd jump to chat. Sorry. I'm done doing that. You can't treat me well when the mood strikes you and treat me like crap the rest of the time and get away with it. The hall can seem pretty empty sometimes, doesn't it? A fan I remain, but not a foolish one that would expect to be treated kindly just because I'm a fan. That is, after all, what every fan SHOULD be able to expect.

I do retract any concerns I had about certain people reading this. I almost wish they would happen upon it. Sometimes we all need a wake up call. The deal is, and always will be, I blog what's on my mind. Thus, what I have to say is never "wrong" - feelings can't be wrong. If confronted by anyone on anything I say here I may be embarassed, but it's all true, and I'm not going to deny it. Don't you get tired having to censor what's in your mind every day of your life?

Saturday, November 12, 2005

I was pretty productive today, probably because I got up so darn early. I grocery shopped, ran to try and find sweaters for the cruise unsuccessfully, attempted pick up my script (they were closed because the registers were down, how stupid is that), and even cooked my own dinner.

I spent most of the afternoon working on my paper, granted I think I achieved more on my fourth and fifth sections than the third, but at least I made a good bit of progress. I managed to work on the paper while freezing to death by the gaping hole in my living room. At last - a brand new sliding glass door is installed, I just need the trim fixed up which should get completed tomorrow. It's a shame how awful the old one was. Needless to say when he pulled off the old trim we realized there was basically nothing there to insulate. Go figure my living room is so damn cold.

Vixen almost ended up with a concussion this evening too as she smacked straight into the door, Satin almost did earlier in the evening. You see, the old door clearly had the seal broken and there was a constant vapor that was visible as well as some beveling in the glass which the dogs could easily see. I feel kind of bad. Vixen was afraid to the come through the open door. They'll get use to it I suppose.

We suffered another major deja vu this evening, loosing to Trenton in the shootout 3-2. Probably my fault as I've decided some people aren't allowed to gain points when I'm peeved. *grin* How juvenile is that? I'm a kid at heart. I guess that's why I laugh when I see someone get dissed by their other half for the calling of a beer.

Oh, before I forget. I never quite get the question right either. He checked yes. 20-10.

"Waiting for your call baby night and day. I'm fed up, I'm tired of waiting on you. -Madonna"

Friday, November 11, 2005

Looks like Cygan and Downs are out in trade for funds. Again, I love automated tools scouring the web and news sources for me. Spence should be back off of IR this evening (hopefully) and I'm ready for our first win. Hell, even the Otters won last night. If the Penguins and the Otters can get wins, so can we. Welcome to Johnstown goes out to a Bridgeport fan who will be in our arena this evening. To the boys that were up in Bridgeport at the end of last season - let's put on a show for him!

Why do we get mail that pisses us off on a day when you can't contact the associated party the next day? So I get the statement from the insurance company yesterday that they've decided to cover a whopping $38 out of the over $400 bill that the lab submitted for the biopsies that went out. This is the place that my dermatologist ASSURED me never had a problem with Blue Shield before. Also, she REFUSED to remove items unless they were sent out to the lab - meaning she FORCED me to get this obscene bill. 20 minutes in her office could cost me over $500, and I have good insurance. Unbelievable. I guess now I wait and see how much the place actually charges me out of that amount. Keep in mind I had to pay out over $100 to have the work done at the actual doctor as well.

I ask you why do those of us with insurance get raped when people who don't even have jobs and no insurance probably pay LESS for their healthcare because they aren't "financially able".

I was going to work on the paper last evening but opted for a nap instead. Well that nap turned into a 12 hour sleeping spree. Does that explain why I was awake shortly after 7am on a day off? Maybe I'm just in training for sharing a room w/ the Slipster. Either way I can't start paperwork this early. That's just crazy talk. So I think I'll go do all of my running that I have scheduled for the day this morning.

"But if I french kissed you in the broad day light you'll fall in love oh oh oh. -Bif Naked"

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Morgan Cey at long last comes to Johnstown from Springfield. Pardon my lack of excitement, but this is a goaltender that's been on IR so far this season and is a rookie. I find it difficult to muster enthusiasm at this point until I see the pudding. I believe there to be a solid reason for a trade to occur fairly soon as well. The rumor mills are brewing. We'll see I suppose.

I spent today emersed in Navy. It was most definitely an experience. I was a bit out of the meetings yesterday due to a foul mood induced by a third party so I didn't absorb the reality of the people I was in meetings with as well as I should. But after a full day and an evening in the bar with these gentlemen (how rarely are Navy boys referred to as gentlemen?) I gathered a full grasp. It started oddly enough with the talking "Piggy" doll and the rather racey jokes for a workday and ended with a few pints and some rather interesting perspective and advice. Thanks for the relaxing evening out fellas, even if I am now looking at less than 4 hours of sleep before another full work day. At least we have Friday off.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

My ex's eyes changed color with his moods. I know someone else like that now too, yes, I noticed - the cold steel blue-gray vs the glowing bright blue. But one thing I never realized is that mine can too. It's rare that I look in the mirror. She and I don't get along much, but today I looked because I had to in order to deal with an eyelash. When I'm in the midst of a deep heartfelt cry? My eyes have the twinge of green I always dreamt of having. Rather ironic, isn't it. Again, be careful what you wish for.

"You know how hard it is for me to shake the disease. It takes all of my time in situations like these. -Depeche Mode"

Monday, November 07, 2005

There are some people that you'd like to spill your guts to. That person you have no way of actually getting it all out to because you don't see them often or don't have a way or the nerve to say it during the infrequent times you see them. We all have that someone or list of someones. This rant is for one of them. They'll never read it, I can rest fairly confident of that, so here goes.

1). You didn't. You answered a question directed at you with a question that I asked... well not really, as you clearly don't remember the question I asked very accurately at all. You said you were saving that - so go read it again. How you can say you wouldn't tell anyone and that it was our joke and then put it somewhere that has the potential to be in front of that many people? You're killing me here. Clearly you don't realize you're not the only person who can "get back" at others.

Amusing thing here is that it was just the second that I wasn't watching for the punchline when it came. Isn't that when everything happens? When you stop watching and waiting for it?

2). I'm sure you thought it was funny - but my gut instantly told me this was not in fun but more in making fun. I hate to think that, but it's true. I guess it all bubbles down to that first life shaping moment back in 7th grade when the boy I was starry eyed over looked me in the eyes and said "I would never date a f*cking ugly dog like you". I do, in fact, expect to be the big joke to guys.

3). More people agree with the "it didn't take" theory. Interesting. This is a strange phenominon which should be studied. It would make a great thesis. Next time I get dumped for a roll of fat with nipples *cough* I'll just say no. Because, I guess if you just deny the fact that the breakup occurred that guys are just too spineless to do anything about it and before you know it *poof* you're a couple again.

4). If you've never seen it, I can't believe it, but watch or re-watch Waynes' World. Try this line it might help you out "Are you mental? We broke up? Cha!"

If you recall what I told you, and no, I have NEVER lied to you, it does take a lot of nerve to go for the "fabulous prizes". If you have not the conviction to chase the dream you came for, how can you possibly have the nerve to stand up for yourself? In the mean time, stop inadvertantly breaking my heart over and over and over again... because I'm an idiot who just can't learn and just can't put you out of my mind.

Oh, and for the person asking about the cake aspect *ahem*. We made brownies last night. It's probably part of the reason I gained two pounds this past weekend just in time for the weigh in at work for the holiday challenge.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

A little bit of house cleaning, some more holiday shopping, and the game were on my agenda for Saturday. I did my darndest to let some irritations (losing to the Nailers 4-2 being one of them) of the evening roll off my back and had a fun evening. Beff, Slippy, Vis, Vans, and I headed to the Haven post game for a drink and some chatting. As always with Vis and Vans around there was quite a few good laughs to be had, even if we didn't get Vans to do something for money. *grin*

Intermingled through the evening was even more strange behavior from Cybil the stick wielding wonder. I start off being good to my new concept of "screw it I'm going to be nice and to hell with who it pisses off" and headed to say hello and to force a hug... which came out as a one armed spagetti arm. What gives w/ that? This, one of the ppl I know to give the BEST hugs gave me a spagetti arm, not even ARMS? Yes, again pissiness is probably the excuse, but a weak one at best.

Later in the evening after Beff made our presence known by wandering to the bar to do a shot with Vans (yes, Beff actually DRANK tonight - shocking) this awkward overture took place before my eyes. Clearly another "wander from the SO to talk to me", I don't understand why this even happens given the lack of decision making capacity on this whole subject, but I digress. I see the beer turn up and the sideways glance - then a bend around the one pole as though to approach and a second thought. Maybe because I'm out with a few guys? Who knows. Either way. You need not feel obligated to speak to me, nor do you need to make up for being an ass every time by then being nice. Just stick with being an ass, it makes my life a lot more straightforward. I'm not waiting for your "response", nor am I waiting for you as that will bring me nothing but frustration.

Speaking of frustration - if _I_ only saw my other half let's say once a week or so, I wouldn't be in a bar until last call. There are too many other more important issues to tend to in such a situation. My other piece of advice, when you start acting more like you're just tollerating one another than anything else, the first option doesn't apply, just get off the pot.

Friday, November 04, 2005

Another hot Friday evening date. Me, my laptop, and my radio. Deja vu.

Defeat. When does it really happen? Is it the current loss or is it the decision to stop trying. Amusingly my thoughts are of defeat in the later term this evening. I waffle back and forth between confidence and the demand that I need to take actions different than the past to the desire to concede to defeat. What really is the point of continuing to torment myself by allowing the ongoing internal dialog that loops loops loops? I guess the final factor is if I am willing to also concede to things remaining as they are for the rest of "my" eternity. The answer there is clearly no, but sometimes it's easier to just bury myself into work and to let time quickly slip through my fingers. Hell, it's November already. I have but a few solid memories of summer. I'm definitely not getting any younger.

It's when the decision to allow defeat take over sets in that a small victory occurs. On an off chance I put Satin's dinner to soak up some water while they went outside midevening. When she headed back in, I'll be darned if she didn't woof down a good 3/4 of her dinner. Maybe the dumb broad new vet is just an idiot and Satin does just have a sore tooth. I guess we'll see in the next couple days if this solution continues to help get her to eat. I'll be pretty chapped if this is, in fact, the problem since I specifically asked the vet if this could be a factor - and after her $300 worth of vet bills all I got was the advice to change her food until I find something she'll eat. Thanks captain obvious. I usually applaud finding women in fields like this, but this dumbass needs to hit the road. The unfortunate thing is there aren't too many vets to pick from around here. The other partners at this office that I liked have both left the practice.

As for the Chiefs...
We were in Trenton with an emergency goaltender in tow and Wallace back off the IR list as Hrdel headed up to help Springfield. Seems like more bad timing penalties for us tonight. We lost in the shoot out 3-2.

On a bright note, I did finally get the first cut of the fan club website pushed live. Granted, I didn't get to double check all of the links now that it's live, and I didn't make all the changes I wanted to make, but at least it's out there and I can make revisions moving forward as time allows.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

So Zybnek Hrdel was recalled to Springfield today to play in WBS. Haven't seen a thing about Boutin coming back down so that leaves me wondering about our goaltender situation for tomorrow night. Now, I see that Peter Trovato signed w/ Trenton (the team we're playing tomorrow). What's up with THAT? I never got word on why exactly he didn't show up here despite it sounding like a deal was worked there. The timing has me wonder if it's not "perfect timing" to get us. But that's my paranoid side speaking.

I said to hell with it, I'll leave well enough alone and turned in the paper today instead of nitpicking it for the next two nights. Instead I filled my evening thus far with working on Christmas cards and preparing a list of things I need to do and/or pack before we go away. It is, after all, only three weeks away and I'm an obsessive planner at times.

We also learned who the bitch and who the butch is in one homestead. *grin* I'd cook ya dinner anytime Butch, although maybe bitch is a better cook than I? Speaking of cooking, I actually did that this evening too. I made a nice little pasta dish with fresh tomatos and some artichokes. It was tasty, but I'm really craving dead cow. A nice juice burger or a slab of dead cow. That's what I could really use.

Now it's time to figure out why the two cars keep slowly passing my house one after the other in one direction and then the other. If I don't come back... send someone to find me.
Good news at last. I guess the fortune cookie was right, I have a tenant come December 1st. Needless to say this puts a smile on my face and will let me relax a little more with regard to spending on our trip later this month. There will be no "pay the gas bill or have another drink while lounging on the deck of the cruise ship" decisions to be made.

I went to sleep a bit early again last evening after spending a few hours working on the touchups my paper needs. Seems like my exorbitant amount of sleep has paid off as my head is 90% clear at this point. Unfortunately, everything that drained down my throat has managed to give me a bit of a chest cold. To be expected I suppose, but I don't like sounding like my mother, a woman who has smoked for God knows how many years, when I get up in the morning. I must look healthier as I've been told several times this morning that I look good today. Ah the power of having the will to get up curl your hair and slather on some make-up. Maybe it's because I'm not dragging a foot behind me and grumbling as I meander through the halls.

I'm also starting to think eliminating allergy symptoms is something like an exorcism. My body sure looks like it survived some catastrophic event. I noticed this morning while getting dressed a big black bruise on the far right of my butt. It gets worse, there is a matching one that is a little lighter on the far left. I'm always riddled with bruises that I can't explain their origins. I guess they probably just show so brightly because of how pale I am. So much for finding a "rough" guy eh? I also have nice marks on my hands already from stuffing medication down the dog's throat last night, but that's a whole other issue. The power of puppy compels you!

There is some harsh word on the street of just in time for the holidays pink slip gift giving going about. I don't think I need to worry as I'm fully tasked, but it is not something I like to hear.

"I watch you from a distance to catch your eyes. How they occupied my mind. -4 Strings"

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

So the Pens actually won a second game. Are you as shocked as I am? I had the game on last night while I was in a semi-coma. Anyone who suffers from allergies will agree that the term "allergies" seems a little too demure and delicate. There should be a better phrase that truly captures the apocalyptic nature of the hell that is massive allergy issues. My nose is now too tender to wipe with a tissue, starting to flake, and splitting open on the ends which makes my eyes tear every time I move my face allowing my nose to move. The image in the one commercial of the head being like a balloon a good foot above the guy's cartoon neck is pretty much what one tylenol does to me, so I'm sure everyone thinks I'm stoned.

I crawled into bed last evening hoping to just get a slight nap and get back up to make some progress for my class, which I did do. I read another assigned article and re-read my paper marking it up for additional revisions. Now to get the revisions into the paper - if I can stay awake enough and coherent enough to do so. I was also pulled from semi-slumber by another seizure for Satin. That's two in less than a month. Not good. Needless to say the medication is not going on the food anymore, it will go directly in her mouth, so when my hands and arms look like a knife wielding crazy attacked me you'll know why.

My cohort's vacation countdown touts 22 days. I can't wait. At least it's highly likely with the issues that I'm currently having that these problems will be past by the day we depart. I really wish I could tan, but I'll count my blessings as a pastey white gal - I'd rather not look 20 years older than I am and have the general texture of a prada leather purse like some girls do.

"I won't forget you baby, even though I should. -Poison"

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

My sad report to Aaron appears to be inevitable. 2/3 of the way into the autumn of Judy and what I have to show for it is a creepy food delivery guy who is practically stalking me. Ok, he probably is stalking me I just haven't realized it yet. At least he hasn't called in a few days. I guess there's the odd guy who stopped dead outside of Giant Eagle asking "were you at the hockey game last night", that should count - maybe? Bah. I'll just revert to the commentary from BrianV and the feedback noted two days ago. Even if it's not getting me anywhere I guess positive feedback counts for something.

My sinuses are completely driving me crazy today. So I take yet another tylenol which just makes me tired and loopy. At least the day is nearly over. I have someonen coming to look at the apartment this evening. Wish me luck all. From there I think I need to do the final touches thing on the paper. It would be nice to turn it in a bit early - give myself a few days "off" and get onto section 3 early next week.

"When he lied it meant he loved me. Cause when he lied it meant that he was there. -Jack off Jill"

Monday, October 31, 2005

"Good news of a long-awaited event will arrive soon." So sayth the fortune cookie. Do YOU have something I want to hear? Post it as a comment or email me.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

I neglected to search around on the AHL scores last night due to being quite tired, but this morning I see that Bates Battaglia nailed two goals last evening. Excellent. Now if he can just get back in the N this year that credit I have w/ meigray will be quite useful.

I'm also posting the pic of Beff and I from the halloween game all geared up in our costumes. Beff, the girl who "works upstairs", and me, as Ms. Crosscheck. Time to start thinking for next year.

A new strategy, my friends, is on the horizon. They say to use what you've got. What's the one skill I have? The innate ability to piss other women off without hardly trying. It's time to embrace that skill and focus on it rather than my feelings of awkwardness. I think the fruit of that labor will work its way in from another angle. I'm already under the skin. It's time to become a festering boil.

Today I busted some ass on the paper and have everything written at this point, it just needs cleaned up and double-checked. Not much of a sollace considering I then need to get started on subsequent sections. I also hit the mall with Beff and purchased a few more Christmas gifts. I'll eventually get all of that done. At least one of the last steps of our travel plans are finalized now too - the excursions. I can't believe it's less than a month before I head off to the caribbean and then home again to exit the very next day to go out west to watch the boys. Hopefully we'll have a winning streak rolling by then.

"Did the boys all tease you when they had the chance? Always left standing when it came time to dance. -Tonic"
What a long and full day. Time for a verbose recap.

The carpets are as clean as I can get them without pulling out the huge rug scrubber and my hands are sore from manually trying to get the marks out in the living room. Again, why would anyone put such light colors in a house right by the entrances? The kitchen, hall, and bathroom floors are also scrubbed thoroughly. This means it's time to enforce the no shoes past the front door rule and to be more dilligent about bringing the dogs in through the basement so long as it's damp out.

I also did something I've put off for the last week and wrote a letter to an aquaintance. Yes, I physically pulled out one of the beautiful note cards that Angela made for me last year and wrote a quick letter. I think it's only fair to push you all, my faithful readers, to do the same. This person, I have only met them a few times. I know them only because of a band, of all stupid things, but they've been there for the past so many years. This person was someone to lean on over IM when I was a bundle of emotions from issues with my ex. He's in the military and moves about a good bit into the strangest places, but the beautiful thing about him is at every stop I get a post card or a short note. I probably get a card every week to two weeks, and each time it puts a smile on my face to think that there are people out there like him. Do you know someone like this? Write and tell them how special they are. I bet they need to hear it sometimes too. Besides, if you have enough time to sit around and read my blog you have way too much time on your hands.

From there I wasted a little bit of time chatting on messenger with a former NHLer who is now doddling down in the ranks a level. 1). Don't tell me Bates' ass isn't fabulous. You've seen it naked, super. I think you're just jealous of the junk in his trunk. *grin* 2). When Roche makes his way up to the A this year, just remember to pass along my hello when you play against him to throw him off his game for a split second. You two would get along splendedly. Same age, from the same area. A good agent is always at work getting names out there I suppose. 3). Sorry, I'm just not going to easily conceed and start to favor defensemen. I'm a LW kind-a gal, what can I say. At least I don't like goaltenders *blah* *giggle* 4). Thanks for thinking I'm hot. I'll TAKE that compliment with a smile.

While the fish's water came up to room temperature I decided to reward myself with a short period of time out of the house and I headed to see Saw II. Interestingly familiar but yet with a different twist. Still much better than many sequels.

Hockey night in Toledo. I'm sure the boys' butts are sore from the ride out there today, the ride back won't be any better as they lost 6-2 all said and done. Hrdel and Toffey tallied our only goals. Attempting to look on the bright side, the Canes smacked Pittsburgh 5-3 :) An honorable mention has to go out to the Senators who stomped the Leafs 8-0. I definitely have some good points coming out of tonights games for my fantasy team!

I feel like I did so much today but got nothing done. I know how to accomplish one thing however, sleep.
"Hey Bacchus. She hates me. -Type O Negative"

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Lost. Again. My heart breaks for this stuff. Pretty sad. Good work to Greco and Peterson for their goals. Roche had an assist and almost polished things in overtime, but no deal. Shootout loss.

Costume night for the fan club was a bit of a dud since most everyone neglected to dress up. That's okay. I had fun as Ms. Crosscheck. Despite the loss, I was surprised to see some people not pissy and willing to greet me. I'm sure there was a reason for that.

I also have come to realize there are some fabulous actors in Johnstown. Again, thank you for honoring me so greatly by going so far out of your way to attempt to make things appear to be what I'd least like to see.

I was suppose to go watch some movies after the game, but I just wasn't up for it. Sorry Vis. I was going to, but no reason to be the downer.

Oh... ZAN. Not ZAHN. Ok ok. Don't beat me again.

"Cause I just can't look its killing me, and taking control. Jealousy, turning saints into the sea. -Killers"

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Dave Stewart appears to be headed to Missouri w/ Richard Paul. Of course, that makes me wonder if Paulie's gig might not suffer or disintegrate because of another would-be fighter coming in. I really am bad luck to have as a fan. That's a good reason to be foul today, like I needed to hunt for one.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Another 3rd period loss. I am not trying to bash our boys, but seeing this happen again starting off this season sure makes the summer feel short and last season a mere weekend ago. Bittner, Greco, Caponigri, and DesRochers scored, but we fell in sudden death overtime 5-4.

I was quite surprised to see and hear some of the attitudes a few of the boys have developed. For one, the most shocking, your head must surely have swollen. For the other, well, let's just say I told you they stop talking to me. Probably the only game where there won't be visitors to impede at least a hello and the hall as avoided. I guess I could say it's simply a foul mood after losing, but I'm female - I'd rather be melodramatic and self-deprecating and assume it's because of me.

Speaking of Visitors... it was nice to see JT back in town. We miss you Tremblay :)
Looks like we have another dman, Brady Greco, coming our way from Springfield. I would make additional comments but right now I just want coffee. Morning comes too quickly.

Update: I've now aquired my coffee and raised my blood pressure 20 points. Some ASS left copies of "a good woman's guide" in the kitchen on the table used to distribute information. The moron had the nerve to underline and circle parts. A good woman knows her place eh? I am not a feminazi, but I'll find a place for my doc martin foot kind sir.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

I have officially lost my mind. I crawl out of bed and slide my feet across the bedroom floor, down the hall, and take a glance up toward the back door as I turn in that direction. Is that frost? Wow. Ok. I shuffle my feet closer. No, not frost, but snow. It's snowing. It's not just small delicate flakes floating lightly to the ground. No, they're roughly the size of my head. How does this prove I lost my mind? I started laughing like a crazy woman. Funny one God.

Monday, October 24, 2005

Ok, gotta share one of the nicest photos from yesterday. The rest I have to keep in reserve for the first iteration of the fan club website. If I can just get some more action shots to finish the header. I told you favorites were played with some of the nicer pumpkins.

With the parade called off I have three evenings "off" in a week. Well, not really off - there is still paper work to do. I took it fairly easy tonight however, just working some on the rework of section one.

An update in my little hockey world: Carolina beat Ottawa! How do you like them apples? Applesauce bitch! Unfortunately, that loses me points in the fantasy league, but I'll take that loss. Playing statistics alone Hasek was due for a loss. Even Holmstrom didn't help me out much. How sad is that? I concede and have a (ahem) Red Wing on my team and he fails to produce. Go figure. Not like I watched however so maybe he didn't even play.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Back. Mentally exhausted at this point. Everyone seemed to like the pumpkins. The new venue was very nice. A little chilly today, but beautiful. Too bad I didn't feel much like enjoying it. Hiding in the dark seemed like a better option.

On another ongoing note: Everything I thought I knew, wrong. Everything I didn't understand is somehow right... but even more confusing. "Mine, yeah right", "never apart", "I am not telling *person*". Now I have to be a bit paranoid as to when you'll "get me back". At least you laughed and enjoyed reading - I still don't know if it's a good thing that you can "read English". I guess the joke isn't on me, but at least it's just between the two of us. What do you have up your sleeve? That cheesey grin worries me. But the smile and glowing eyes just confused me all the more. How can you walk into a dark room and light it up like that? How can you be so sweet and still break my heart so terribly? Why would you keep that? Why does it mean so much?

Do I believe the advice some friends gave that they think he likes me? I believe that's accurate, but what on earth explains all else?
Beff and I finished up the pumpkins yesterday morning and she cranked out her cookies while I showered. It feels surreal to be done with all of those tasks. Adam Henrich was assigned to us again this season and played last night. I have to agree with others that he was definitely moving out there and pushing the pace. It's good when a guy is sent down and WANTS to go back up but knows that the way to do that is be proving himself as a Chief. It would be nice to go through a season without anyone being shoved here who finds themselves "better than" a AA league. Guess what, you're here... so right now, you're not, use the time wisely and prove yourself if you have it in you.

Anyhow, Chiefs lost to the Royals last evening 3-2. Goals came out of Kindle (lucky number 13!) and Hrdel. We did have a good crowd. Over 3200 I hear. I got my workout in working the 50-50 bags. Wow. Next time no sweater under the jersey to run up and down the stairs screaming at the top of my lungs.

Another point from the game, yes - she was there. The "ex" part is seeming less and less likely which simply indicates that I made an idiot of myself and probably pissed this girl off last weekend. Heck, I've been dating people that weren't around as much, waiting in the wings so to speak. I guess an apology is in order today.

The candied carrots are cooking and the pumpkins are loaded in the car. Time to get a shower and get on my merry way.

Friday, October 21, 2005

Chiefs lose to the Inferno on the road. *blah* My call, too many stupid penalties putting us in the hole beating us up. I have to believe it's a long drive back from Columbia tonight.

The posters were hung today, the pumpkins gutted, and half of them carved. Now in addition to the scoliosis I'm causing with the leaning over posters I'm also sitting on a floor for hours on end to ensure my tailbone is sore too. Throbing right now, but still a dull throb compared to the headache I'm working on. More proof my body was made for sitting at a computer desk, television, or hockey game only. Sleep! Maybe a nice hot shower first.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

I don't know about Beff, but after the past two evenings of leaning over posters my back is throbbing. Gratefully I am taking tomorrow off from work, so I can sleep in just a little bit later and get a few more to dos crossed off of my list. We now have 20 posters named and numbered. I'll also get these delivered to the War Memorial tomorrow afternoon. Hopefully people can keep their paws off and not destroy them. From there it's time to come back and catch up w/ Davey T. to do some carving therapy. Nothing better than gutting something to make you smile. They're only pumpkins people, don't get so uptight. With my back sore as it is, sitting on the concrete in the basement for a day and a half probably won't be too helpful. Let's see if I can walk come Sunday much less play bocce ball.

I guess there are some major tightening of reins going on at camp. For those not willing to see the whole point behind this, it could be a very very long season. For those who are inspired by the direction they're being forced into are likely to prosper from it. My advice to our boys: embrace it. To some other boys: drop the psychotic moods, be happy with where and who you are, you should be.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Opening night rosters. WOOHOO! Some rumors were right on... others were, let's just say WAY less than accurate.

Welcome back to... Joe-Joe, Demo, Roche, Brett Peterson, Zo, CurrDogg, and Spence.

Welcome to the Chiefs to... Steve Cygan, Zybnek Hrdel, Randy Rowe, John Toffey, Brandon Elliot, J.B. Bittner, Ben Wallace, Jeremy Downs, Tyler Kindle, Jay Rosehill, Doug Andress, and Jonathan Boutin.

And goodbye to... Cavy, Dave Stewart, Steve Slonina, Milan Vodrazka, and John Haider.

Packard and Kelly were recalled to Springfield, oddly, since I heard something about Kelly having a broken foot. Either way, the math doesn't work here. 19 and counting.

"When you walked in the room, and you smiled that smile. I was doomed. -Angelfish"

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

What is a girl to do when her mind is just so completely elsewhere? Last night we got a jump start on some of the extra posters we'll need, but that's just the start. I need the opening night roster to crank out the individual posters by Saturday. I'm thinking I could take Friday off and finish up in the morning what I don't get done BEFORE then and take them to be hung up. Then there is the pumpkins. 20 of them. I love doing this stuff, don't get me wrong, but I get overwhelmed in my mind with the things I need to do. I really like the look of awe some people give as a reward for my talent and skill of "tracing" (face it, you're a tracer - God bless Kevin Smith flicks). Then there is the game and welcome party itself, the driving factors for when all this stuff needs done. I hope what we've pulled together looks at least close to what everyone was hoping for. I am, by far, not an artist. So here I am making a list to ease my nerves some about getting everything done.

Then there is my class. I still need to finish up my second section of my paper (thank GOD the turnin was delayed). I also have to make updates to the first section to try and capture the things I was told I missed. From there I need to crank out more for section 3, 4, 5 in preparation so I just need to write them before we head out on vacation. Maybe I should be thankful that I don't have those pesky date things getting in the way of my quality time with documents. *looks around a bit oddly* Or not.

The holidays are nearly here, there is Christmas shopping to be done. I did snag a few items over a quick lunch-time shopping spree but there are a ton of gifts left to be dealt with and too few ideas even. Who has time to think about what people may want?

As to the hockey games I missed this weekend but were of interest... the pens are still losing *grin* the canes are doing pretty decent 3rd in the division under Florida and Tampa Bay, both of whom have two games in hand on them. In the AHL, good seeing the Falcons at the top of their division. The Marlies, while not faring as well, still has allowed Bates 3 points in 4 games. Down to the UHL, still preseason and roster changes happening there too.

With us, the rumor is that Cavy was traded. If that is true, which I'm starting to believe it, I'm sorry to see you go Cav. Be well - play hard. I'm still waiting to see what we're moving around. We need to make some D alterations and squeeze down the numbers just a wee bit more. Tick tock tick tock.

Friday off is sounding better and better. I can't believe I'm to the point where I actually feel guilty about requesting time off. What on EARTH has come over me? At least I can bury my worries and angst in other activities for a little while before I have to face things head on this weekend. I will be the girl blushing in the corner, as promised.

"I'll make you mine someday. Somehow, Somewhere, Someway. -Kenny Wayne Shepherd"

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Yeah. At least you'll know. I don't really know, but I sure feel like I do. If you're going to keep you're eye on me - don't, when I finally start talking to you, find the tv way more interesting. At least I'm not embarassed at this point, just sad.
I got up early Saturday deciding to get my cleaning out of the way and to give me a wide open afternoon to focus on my paper which was due on opening night. I don't think this much of my house has been this clean in a long while. I even rearranged the living room a little and I'm liking the change. Now if I can just get the posters done for the fan club I can clean up my dining room and get all of those materials out of there.

After realizing I have a two week delay on the current section of my paper, I decided I needed a break and didn't work on my paper all afternoon as planned but instead, the Slipster, Beff, and I headed to Altoona to do a little Christmas shopping. At least I have a few more items purchased, but there are so many gifts I need to come up with. People are too hard to buy for. From the mall we then met CJT and my mom at Olive Garden for some grub and then back to Jtown for a girl's chat sitting around many episodes of southpark.

The Chiefs pulled off another shoot out win against the Nailers in preseason last evening. I'd imagine David Currie had a wee bit more of a challenge in goal than there was on Thursday since some of the chaff has been cut from the wheat in Wheeling. So NF says, Morency got hurt *oh darn* and Cygan lost a few teeth *eww*. I'm sure that will look lovely.

Also, Satin ended up having a seizure yesterday. This is the first one I've caught in a very long while. She remains pretty lucid during seizures, and maintains bodily control, but it is still tough to see her like that. I really don't want to start shoving her medicine directly in her mouth at meal times, but I'm starting to think there is much option. If she's not eating, she's not getting the meds, if she's not getting the meds, we'll have issues.

Today I was up and moving once again, off to church and then taking a nice relaxing shower. The legs are shaved and lotioned, and I'm pondering the rest of the day. Here's hoping for the guts that everyone tells me I should have. Funny thing is Kathy tells me the key is to "be myself" and then one of the first main lines in our church sermon is the very same. Point made. I must I must I must get past my self defeating fears and avoid the regret of delay. You wait to long, you lose. This time last year I watched someone leave town and I was happy I at least got to talk to them before they departed. I don't want to relive the departure in any way - but if that's what happens, then I'd at least like to know things for certain. Embarassment is temporary, regret is forever, right?

Thursday, October 13, 2005

First I'll celebrate a little... then I'll just reiterate things that I've expressed a million times before.

Preseason game in Greensburg today against Wheeling. Chiefs win! Got to pick on NF! Joe-Joe popped one in and Roche scored in regulation as well as was our first of three goals in the shootout. How can this boy possibly be nervous about getting cut?? Ok, clearly he's as much of a retard in some ways as I am, but that's the subject for later. Yes, the shootout... AGAIN. This could be a disturbing trend. The guys came out very strong early in the game and looked much better than they did at the scrimmage last evening. I think we need to start working the stamina and cardio a little harder. Chiefs were up 2-0 and then much like last year the Nailers made a run for things as we got a little tired. Another small celebration? Mr. Soucy is no longer with us. He'll be leaving and proving me right with style and grace!

Ok, me = retard. DEE DEE DEE! How can one person be so completely mental that they can't talk to or even make eye contact with something that they're attracted to without going red and panicking? I guess it doesn't help if the girlfriend shows up midway into the evening. Some people are claiming ex-girlfriend, but what proof do I have of anything of the sort? She's there, that says something, right? I can't believe things I see with my own eyes, like all of the fights I interpretted were happening in the past etc, so I'm sure not trusting the spin someone else's eyes put on a situation. I guess some girls would take her seeming distaste for me as a compliment, but it just makes things even shakier in my mind.

1). She clearly doesn't know that's not my game... of all things, I am not a man thief. I'm usually the one being stolen from. (BTW, I realized around lunch today that this should have been my fourth anniversary. I can't tell you how fabulous it is to have forgotten.)

2). Most women would keep what they have even if they don't want it simply because they see a threat. I say threat only because her reaction to me is that I am, somehow, a threat.

3). I don't know, there's just something else.

I guess the big thing is in the past I've sat on my thumbs with this person then I had them look me in the eye and say "Can you believe I've already met a nice girl in Johnstown?" Why because I'm a coward and I run. What am I attempting to repeat here?

Back on the definition of my retardism: Even when someone goes out of their way to get your attention and wave, how do you not muster more than a half lifting of your hand and a semi-grin/nod? I'll tell you how - they're a sped. Yeah, I called you special ed, but I guess the deal is we can smell our own.

Hi, my name is Judy and I'm afraid of boys, but you can call me Ed.
Wednesday was another day at that place. I stayed busy, but so distracted at the same time. It's a miracle I get things scratched off my to do list. It sure helped to have a chair massage late in the afternoon. How great is that? Every now and again someone in there gets a good idea. Granted they typically go horribly awry, but this was, in fact, a success in my mind.

Last evening, hockey. Go figure. Scrimmage game, with the guys who are fighting for their jobs and actually bother to show up for camp. (AKA - Soucy didn't have to play). I have to say something negative here, and I hate that I have to, but I pride myself in not censoring in my blog. I felt like I was watching an adult rec league for a good portion of the evening. There were too many guys dogging it and not skating fast or hard.

The one shoot out score for the black team... good work Roche. Happy to see the surprise jersey really was a surprise. *smile* Three cheers to Slipster who proudly named the guys she saw grabbing grub post game. I didn't even need to make flash cards this year! Guess what - the Chiefs won! *laugh* I'm kidding.

Ok, then the Avs game on TV (or at least the end of it) so Beff could watch Paul and I could laugh at Aebischer. At least if he's going to lose me points in the fantasy league he makes me laugh. This guy is about as off his rocker as Fankhouser was last year. He punches a Nashville guy in the head and even leaves his crease to check a guy into the boards. THAT is a goaltender! If more goaltenders played like that I could be a fan of goaltenders. But I again repeat, there is something to be said about soft hands.

In other NHL news worthy of mention: Carolina stomped Washington last night. Bates racked up an assist last evening against Syracuse.

Here's to leaving work a little early today to head to greensburg. Game on :)