How quickly time is passing.  I cannot believe this is my second year end summary where I get to tell you how amazed and blessed I am by Avery.

Some high points for 2018:
- Avery.  STILL!  The milestones are amazing.  Her personality shines more and more every day and she's definitely learning new things every day.  I feel like there is something remarkable happening a couple of times a week.  She is a sweet and pleasant girl.  I'm not going to lie, having a wee one isn't _easy_ and it is tiring, but compared to what I expected - she is a walk in the park.
- Our first cruise with Avery went quite well.  That was back in April before she could crawl or walk, so I am sure the next cruise will be a very different adventure, but at least one without the need of scrubbing bottles in a bin every night.  Fortunately that is coming soon!
- Remaining gainfully employed from home with my long time company.  There has been some stressful points this year, but some evolution in my role too.
- Avery's first airplane ride to Texas to visit with Aunt Jackie, Uncle Bob, and Cousin Matt/Amanda.  We didn't get to see Cousin Danielle, but it was because she's busy working at her first "real" job!  That's a highlight too, I'm quite proud of her.
- Going to visit Avery's Aunt Bethany and meeting her horses for the weekend.
- Aunt Jackie also was sure to come here to visit, in specific for Avery's baptism and her first birthday, both of which were definitely memorable.
- I got a night out to go see Matt and Kim live!
- Getting away w/ Avery to the church retreat at Jumonville.
- I've been adulting for so long that I needed to replace furniture.  As such this year I have purchased comfy new couches that recline and a new adjustable king sized bed.
- Going and doing things I want to do but never would have if it weren't for Avery.  For example:  the aviary and Phipps conservatory.
- Taking the leap and starting to have someone coming to help clean.


Things I wanted to achieve in 2018:
- I didn't get everything done here at the house that I wanted.  The electrical I wanted done is complete, so now there is a ceiling fan on that deck roof, a few more plugs, and a switch instead of pull strings in the basement.  There are cabinets in the laundry room too!  I did not however get in gear on the half bath, but I have many of the supplies.  I am just dragging my feet to avoid the big cost and tough decision on which vanity and counter top to go with or if I should move the one fro the half bath upstairs and replace it with something bigger.  I continue to wish for block windows or a source of light in the garage, but I've taken no action there either.
- Making friends... I've made acquaintances, some are quite good acquaintances, but that isn't enough.  Avery and I made a few acquaintances at Starbucks in the mornings.  My biggest source of adult interaction is at Starbucks and for a few moments when I drop off or pick up Avery from daycare.
- I haven't gotten weight off like I had wanted.  It's hard.  After Avery is in bed I am ready to relax and wipe out myself, not to work out.
- I've tamed a bit with my foul mouth, but I have a ways to go.  I am sure I will be extra mindful once I hear sh*t come out of her mouth for the first time.


The tough parts of 2018:
- Feeling lonely.  Just like last year, I'd really like to find/make closer friends in the area.  I'm blessed that is the only thing I can think of to call a tough part.
- I've had a few bouts of concern for my own future.  Combine that with the irrational fears that Moms, or at least this Mom gets and there you have the new stresses I've been fighting away.

General comments:
The dogs:  Saffy and Dani remain well despite their aging.  We did have a heck of a scare w/ Dani a few months back where she nearly choked herself to death trying to get out of her crate.  More recently Dani has started having the issue where she doesn't get up from napping when she should, instead she gets up and urgently needs to go.  This has resulted in quite a few poop pickups.  It basically is 'falling out' of her before she can even tell me she needs to go.  I'm hoping we're not on a downhill with this.  I need to start to be more proactive about forcing her outside even more often I guess.  Fortunately, since I work from home I know it could be a lot worse.

I continue to be very excited by the difference in weather here over Jtown.  We had the slightest dusting of snow so far this fall/winter.  I know Johnstown got at least one good snow fall already.  If you look it up, based on averages we get 1/3 the amount of snow here.  That speaks volumes.


My desires for 2019:
- Keep seeking out friendships here locally.
- Do a little more bible reading and/or study.
- Once again I'll say I want to take some weight off, we'll see how that goes.
- I'd like to take a day off and go do something with Avery at least 8 of the 12 months.  My targets include a few things that require nicer weather, like the Zoo and Idlewild.
- I want to get the bathroom situation off of the list, for sure.
- I want to declutter a little more - it's time to go through the closets.

I tried to nap with Avery today, but I didn't sleep any better than I did last night.  Instead I got up and took down the tree. Other than the wreathes on the windows, every visible vestige of Christmas is gone.  Christmas itself, as I've said before always lingers with other things, including sadness and heartache.  This Christmas definitely re-opens a few wounds.  It has me disliking myself once again.  I don't know what 2019 will bring.

I didn't think I was buying myself something big for a Christmas gift this year, but I guess I am after all.  A friend's daughter is working for Cutco knives.  I clicked around on the website before listening to the sales pitch (no purchase required) and became interested.  I've wanted a few more table/steak knives as to avoid always having the ones in my block dirty, so I made the leap.  Long story short if you know of anyone who already loves these and would be willing to listen to the pitch let me know.  If you don't know about these knives I'll report back later with my assessment of them.

Another Christmas is over.  I'm so glad I took both the day before and day after off. We used to get Christmas eve as a benefit, but that was taken away this year (sad face). We had a good bit of running to do, and I'm wiped out.  I had a nice headache to show for all of it yesterday.  Gladly, the weather was great or it could have been even more taxing.

Avery already had too much before Christmas, but for sure now I need to figure out what to do with some of the bigger items to keep the living room from looking like a tornado came through.  Again, I shouldn't complain, I'm glad everyone loves her so much.

Today I am also stressing about all of the running we'll need to do for Christmas.  I haven't even started to give thought to what I'm going to take to the different celebrations we're expected at.  We ordered a few more gifts, so I will have those to wrap very soon as well.

I just can't sustain this each year and frankly I'm expected it to get harder as Avery gets older.

I thought a majority of the stress was passed, but here I am catching myself craning my neck forward and to the side more often than I'd like to admit.  The heating pad has come out the past two nights to try and loosen those muscles.  Now I can feel the headache trying to take shape.

It's the walking on eggshells that does it.  I'm pretty tired of it at this point.  There's also a safety blanket through all of this that may choose to excuse itself from things for a period of time.  I can't worry about that scenario right now, but I am unable to not worry about the causes as to why this safety blanket has to make some decisions to step away.  I know I'm being cryptic, but I hope you understand.  I am already feeling like an island on other aspects of my life.  Pile that on and it's just a lot.

Still hunting for a few more gift idea.  I am so out of time.  I need an epiphany.

The first clean took place last week.  There are definitely things I feel were "missed" but a lot was accomplished.  Prior to her arrival it did push me to do some stuff around the house and to buy some bins to encourage me to get on top of sorting the baby clothes I previously mentioned.  It would be nice if I could get to the point where I could reliably take a lunch, even a half hour, each day - or even 2 or 3 days a week - to do something else while I need not tend to Avery.

I had been waiting for a replacement part for my vacuum (yes that one that I bought myself last year for Christmas).  I don't know how it happened, but the piece that holds the bag in place is gone.  I would have surely noticed it to pull it out and throw it away, no?  I have no clue what happened there.  Long story short I opened it to deal w/ the bag, assuming it was probably full, and found the whole cavity full of dirt and dog fur with the bag sagging down.  Go figure.  Finally this piece arrived this weekend and I think I got it in place properly.

I'm still struggling to find the last few gifts we need. I wish the $5 gift for everyone thing would change to a pick one name and buy a bigger gift only for them.  That would save a good bit of cash and a ton of time and thought.

I guess the need to hunt for gifts is a good distraction.  The holidays always fight with my emotions.  I'd give the world for more adult interaction right now.  I desperately need friends here.  I really miss having a holiday party for work to go to as well, not that I could really go to one even if it was still happening.  I just need something right now and I don't know what it is.

The big effort I was heading up went into test this past week.  I'm praying I am not trading that stress for another scoop on something else.  It would be nice to not feel tense all of the time.

Side note:  The people who make Rescue Remedy (a liquid that we recommended for dogs with separation anxiety) also make a little lozenge for stress relief.  I ordered myself a small tin from Amazon.  I'm willing to give it a try.

I'm finally getting the help I need.  No, not mentally.  I had someone come today to give me an estimate for cleaning.  I never feel like I can keep up.  I think this will help me feel like a weight is lifted, it will alleviate some anxiety, and it will keep us healthier.  I'm going to give it a go.  I'm basically re-routing the money I've been throwing towards payments on the new bed (which is finishing up this month before the interest would have kicked in) towards this activity.

I'm also hoping that having it cleaner will inspire me to keep other things in order.  For example - I'm hoping I'll be less likely to start a pile on the kitchen table or on my dresser because I know someone will be coming to clean so I need to keep that out of the way.  I'm also hoping that not needing to take the time to do the things she will be tending to will then free me up to get on some other things that need done, like cleaning up in the junk room.  There I need to get the clothes Avery has grown out of organized.  I also need to take a good pass on my closet and clear out things for donation.  I have one bag started.  With the end of the year quickly approaching it's time, even if I am likely to not be able to list out my donations on this year's taxes.

Speaking of which the early estimations look good.  If I do get that much back (keep in mind last year I should have gotten a chunk but it was tempered greatly by the house in Jtown) I'll probably adjust things so less is withheld.  It makes me so nervous though after the mess we had the last year I was in NC due to an error on the part of the HR staff at my ex's employer.  Admittedly it's nice to get the chunk to put towards things, but it is illogical to allow them to get a zero percent interest loan.  I'd rather have it earning for me.

Last night I returned to the chiropractor.  My lower back feels a bit better.  I always feel like I'm hunching my head forward.  I really need to stop tensing my neck up like that.  I've been trying to keep myself upright.  I've also been fighting to stop myself from swinging my foot under my leg when I sit at my work desk.  I've got to change and get past the constant low-grade ache.

I took a break today and used the time to ready the area for the Christmas tree and to carry the ornaments and wreaths.  After work I got the wreaths up outside.  It definitely looks nicer with the extras I bought after Christmas last year.  It's kind of crazy that the old house only accommodated 2 and this house really needs the 6 to look complete.

The other night I managed to get the stockings and the ceramic tree out.  As part of that process I put away some decorations that were put off to the side to keep them away from the baby, but other than that all they were doing was collecting dust.  Oh - and I finished the writing portion on the Christmas cards and ordered prints of Avery to stuff in some of them.  I guess I'm not as behind schedule as I could be for Christmas related stuff.  Still plenty of shopping to do and then all of the wrapping (ugh).

I took the melatonin for a few nights and then stopped.  I'm still waking way too early.  I really could use more sleep.  My bed is at least not hurting my back, so three cheers for the adjustable bed.  You'd think if I'm not hurting I wouldn't wake.

To be clear, I'm not hurting over night... but by day, my back aches.  The day after my Monday chiro appointment, while I was sitting on the floor with Avery I had shooting/sharp pain right at the top of my butt crack.  I do have another appointment this Monday, we'll see what he has to say about it.  His adjustments are different than my normal chiro (his wife - who is off with their newborn).

Christmas shopping has begun in earnest.  Time is so short.  I also have been working as time permits on Christmas cards.  I can't help but remember sitting here (TMI warning) writing out cards last year while I pumped after Avery was in bed.  I'm not pumping anymore, but this is once again my post-bed strategy.  Tomorrow we visit with Santa.  THIS I did learn from last year and scheduled before Thanksgiving to avoid the crazy crowds at the mall, although I do fear it will still be rather busy tomorrow.  After this I can figure out what the best photo is and get some prints to put in some of the cards.

My Sunday evenings continue to make me sad because my weekend is over and it's back to the grind again.  Sure, some people put in crazy hours ever week... and that isn't normal for me, so I shouldn't complain, but too bad.  It's hard to work a chunk over my 40 and be Mom.  Hell, just getting my 40 sometimes means I don't pause to eat anything more than a piece of fruit or something I can grab quickly during the day.  Needing to get back on the computer after she goes to bed wipes me out completely and takes my brain to places that makes it too hard to sleep.

I've started taking melatonin before my shower to try and get better sleep.  While that seems to have helped me fall asleep faster, I'm still waking after 5am and then making attempts to fall back asleep.  I think it has also helped stopped me from circling thoughts about work when I do wake.  Either way, I'm not getting enough sleep and here I am at 9pm not able to stay awake to even try and watch the rest of The Walking Dead.

On one hand I want to say "I need help" on the other hand, I don't want to give up the things I do for Avery.  Can someone else do my work?  Maybe taking care of the other things around here?  How about just pointing out that winning lottery ticket for me?

Avery made the time adjustment already, why haven't I?  Unfortunately, now instead of waking up at 6am instead of 7am I am getting up at 5am and unable to fall entirely back to sleep.  I stay in a semi-awake state with thoughts of work floating through my head.  I've had moments of lightening with work, but I'm still stressing.  We're down to a month for our release.

Who could use an evening drink?  This girl.  Except I've been getting back online for work after Avery goes to bed more often than not, which means a drink isn't an option.

Friday was the first day of work where I felt like I could breathe in a while.  I felt productive and like I had a path in my head I was prepared to follow.  I am sure I'll be reporting more stress and dismay in the next month, but this glimmer of hope was quite the relief.

Today Avery and I did more than our share of running.  I'll say more than my share of spending too... damn you Sam's Club.  But at least I left there with a few Christmas gifts purchased.  I had a bit of a panic the other day regarding the need to get that shopping underway.  Admittedly I bought 5 of one item... one for me and then one for my sister, niece, would-be MIL, and would-be SIL.  My creativity isn't high, but I genuinely liked the item and think they find them pleasant too, we'll see.

I've been stressing out a bit regarding the clutter around here too.  I have a pile of clothing I intend to donate on the dresser in my closet and another pile of books on a shelf.  I need a few extra hours in a day to comb through things to round out the piles and get it all inventoried.  I think my anxiety over the stuff was amplified because I had to comb through containers in the basement this week looking for something that I managed to hide from myself.  At least while I did that I tidied a bit down there, but I really should get rid of some stuff.

Halloween decoration update:
Zero's string broke.  He was laying on the stairs yesterday.  All three ghosts have been pulled and put in the garage awaiting modifications to sturdiness against the wind, the spooky hanging thing on the light out front is down after his attachment broke, two of the three tombstones are also in the garage as they keep coming lose from the ground and falling over, one of the two metal signs keeps leaning over and needing reset.  *shakes head*  C'mon.

I just want my own little slice of Halloween, is that too much to ask?  And maybe, not in my dreams?  Last night I had an apocalypse themed dream.  It was Monday, it isn't like I finished watching Walking Dead on Sunday or American Horror Story on Wednesday, nope, instead it was after an evening where I should have watched the Good Eats reboot but instead worked for an extra hour.  Coincidence?  It does feel quite catastrophic I'll admit, but I don't think work is inspiring apocalyptic thoughts.

This afternoon, at long last, October actually arrived. The temps have dropped and my after walk work actually felt like it was autumn. Of course, the leaves aren't really changing - at least not getting the vibrant shades, but some leaves are falling off.  I thought the change in sunrise/sunset triggered the change in leaves, not the temps, what gives?  Regardless, I fear we won't even see the beautiful colors this year - just a sudden drop of leaves after a sudden cold snap.

I was aiming to get another mow in this morning, but when I woke it was raining.  I'm hoping tomorrow is the day.  I guess the good news is, if it stays cool, the grass will definitely slow down.  The cooler temps have me wishing, once again, that I had a couple of windows down in the basement and garage so I could allow some cooler air in there.

The ghosts have gone out front, come back down, and went back out.  I need to buy some actual duct tape to secure things better.

I got a few things back on the rails so far this week... for example, the lawn got mowed between Avery's nap on Sunday after we returned and while my Favorite Egg watched her on Monday night.  I'm also proud to say I got the sheets and blanket washed.  I finally ordered a king sized vellux blanket and a king sized bedspread, just in time for the cooler weather that is surely on the way.

My attempts at crafting are coming together on the ghosts.  With some help from my Favorite Egg we figured out how to pull them together.  I suspect they'll need some revamping since there is a rubber band involved (likely to break), but they're good to get out front at this point.

Tonight was little gym followed by a stop at the grocery store.  Getting used to buying milk is quite the challenge.  Yep, I forgot to get milk.  *sigh*

This weekend Avery and I hit the road again, this time to Jumonville for a retreat with our church.  It's always an adventure sleeping elsewhere, one that requires taking way too much stuff.  It was a nice escape, but I'm whooped.  I wasn't sleeping well before I left, probably because of work, but this weekend I was tossing and turning a lot because my back was aching on their beds.  Avery was up later than normal both evenings, but did sleep well, so that's a blessing - I'm sure the other women in our bunk room were quite grateful.

The things I should have been doing this weekend, like mowing the lawn will just have to wait.

Danika's leg is looking better.  After a few days with ointment and the wrap forcing her to leave it be it was looking good enough to allow it some air.

Things seem to be going pretty well with the dogs, except Danika has developed a sore that she's been licking open on her leg. I had to resort to taping it up.  Fortunately I had a wrap here made for dogs that has some bitter flavor to it. Today I wrapped it again with more antibiotic cream.  I am hoping that it heals up quickly.

My ideas and my artistic talents rarely align.  I searched and searched, hoping to find myself an oogie boogie plywood cutout that would fit in the front window kind of leaning in from the side, so two sides would be straight/flat.  Painted black, when the light in the entry hall was on you would see the oogie boogie shadow out front.  Does this exist?  No.  Do I think for a hot second I could create it... again no, not even if I had the appropriate saws/tools.

I am however going to try out a bit of home crafting.  I bought some white pillowcases that I'm hoping I can fashion into ghosts using foam balls, perhaps some iron on patches (for eyes), and my tomato posts.  We'll see, I might end up with a "nailed it" photo to share and a couple of left over white pillow cases for the spare room.

I want some fun Halloween things to decorate with, but I never find anything that lives up to my standards and desired price ranges.  Last year I tried buying an FX projector and it was completely weak sauce, so it went back.  I spotted a Nightmare Before Christmas light show projector - one of those things that turns. It looks cute enough, but it doesn't even plug in, it runs on batteries.  That tells me most of what I need to know about that. The concept there being something turning in the dining room and casting the lights onto/through the curtains for passersby.

I actually thought about becoming one of "those people" with inflatables, but with the wind around here that seems like it would likely be a short lived and expensive object.

I thought I saw a light at the end of this tunnel, but it may be a bus or train.  Finally I was able to get a few things checked in today, just as they stated we're going to aim for 2-week cycles.  This will be a challenge given that it often takes a week just to get requirements to the point of buy-in, much less keeping up with the documentation associated with implementation.  Never mind that this is only one of the efforts I'm supposed to be supporting and I've been neglecting those others for a week plus straight.  Whee.

My joy remains with kiddo.  Of course, this means I'm extra sad to leave her at daycare every day.  I'm trying my best to keep up with the other blog that is focused on her.  If you don't have that link and want it, email me.

Good times and bad times both come and go.  I'm waiting for the stressful stretch to go for sure.  After the concerns for the dogs came the frustrations at work.  I like to have a full plate to make the day go fast, but not one that is overflowing like a river with no end or solid ground in sight.  I also want to feel productive.  Instead I feel like I'm flailing in that river lately.  Every step forward feels like there is something that drags me back under.

I'm mentally exhausted to the point that I thought about just standing up and logging off mid-day yesterday, but I know that won't save me as I can't help but think about the tasks at hand most of the evening and as I lie in bed.  Fun times.

I'm praying for that breakthrough.  If you're so inclined, please send a prayer up for me.  I sure could use a bit of help.

I am happy to report back that after a few days of carrying Dani up and down stairs she is now doing them, albeit slowly, on her own.  It's kind of hard to tell with an older dog sometimes.  She doesn't eat a lot and loves to sleep, well, the past few days that is super obvious because I'm watching her more intensely.  Her last poo was Tuesday before lunch, so that's something I'm definitely watching for now.  Go figure, one is loose and the other is bound up.

I have only been gone for short periods so no need for her to go back into her crate at any point this week.  I am not loving the need for that to happen again and I bet she will also not be interested.

I has been a rough dog week, to say the least.  I'll get the good news out of the way - Saffy is feeling MUCH better.  Things looked better Friday afternoon, but that evening things got thinner (after the vet closed, of course).  Saturday morning I called but couldn't get her into the vet, but they were willing to give us something to help get things back in order.  Within one dose I saw improvement.  We continue the medication for a few days, unless she gets constipated, but she is back to herself, thank God.

On the other hand there is Danika, who I really thought I was going to lose last night.  Historically she has figured out how to break out of crates, she's found crazy strength to open doors and bend them.  But it has been a while since she's has that strength (she's 13 after all) and has been pretty good about chilling in the crate since we moved, so for the past year and a half.

I was gone for a while yesterday, off to a wedding in all of this rain.  It was supposed to be out doors, that's all I am going to say about that.  It was a lovely event and we had a good time.  When it came near Avery's bed time and she was starting to fall asleep (due to a lack of a second nap) I packed us up and headed home.

When I was getting us out of the car I found it odd that there dogs weren't making noise.  I opened the door and immediately saw that Saf was out (the normal noisemaker).  My brain couldn't even finish the thought of "how did she..." when I saw Danika.  She decided to try to get out and got the top part of the crate door open.  Her head was out and she was wedged.  At first I thought she was dead, but as I got close enough I could hear the raspy breathing.  I managed to get the bottom latch pulled out, since I couldn't open it normally with her pushing the top part out and she went to the rest of the way to the ground.  Her breathing steadily picked up - thank God once again, but she was incredibly weak.

In hindsight, I suspect she stood for a while, those shaky old lady legs not able to do it any longer she had to sit/lay down and it caused her to end up how she was.

I pulled her from the crate where she had defecated.  I tried to get her up with no luck.  It took a while, perhaps getting oxygen back to limbs that are already wobbly and weak from age, but she eventually walked a little.  It took a little while longer for her to have the strength to stand up and pee outside.  We've been carrying her on the stairs at this point.  She peed again this morning, and just a little while ago got up from near me and walked to the kitchen for a drink.

As noted, she was already wobbly.  I'm hoping she will regain strength in the next day or so.  Poor girl.  What do I do to keep her secured but safe?  I'm so lucky I came home when I did.  I can't imagine if I had found her no longer breathing.

I'm feeling a little wiped out and overwhelmed.  Thank goodness the weekend is here.  I know I won't get caught up on everything AND sleep, but at least I don't have to be at my desk thinking about everything else that needs done for two days.  Yesterday I was able to get the laundry all washed during my work day 5 minute step-aways and put it all away last night, so that's one thing off of the list.

With the slight cooling outside i made it a priority to mow the front lawn this morning before sitting down to work (after dropping off the wee one.  I'm going to have to try and scoop during a quick lunch break and get the back mowed asap too.

The sleep thing is extra rough at the moment as Saffy has had me up at 5 something the past two mornings with an urgent need to go outside.  Fortunately, working from home has allowed me to keep putting her out rather than cleaning up a mess.  Hopefully she will be feeling better soon or a call to the vet will be in order.  She otherwise seems ok, so I am not tremendously worried, but obviously it isn't something to ignore, especially right after being at the kennel last weekend.

The AC held through our road trip this weekend, thank goodness, as it was crazy hot and steamy.  We had a nice get away to Virginia to visit with family.  I'm tired and road-weary and glad to be home, but I'm glad we went, even if being away from home is a bit of a challenge.

Update on the car - it is cool once again.  Fortunately, they didn't charge me to recharge the freon, unfortunately, they couldn't find a leak.  They did add a dye, so if I end up toasty again soon they might stand a chance of seeing where everything is escaping at.

I also wanted to post because of someone on my mind.  It's about an old classmate.  The other day another person in the Altoona group posted stating they found photos in her sister's things, they'd like to get to the others in them, she was in my class.  Of course I had to click through to figure out if I knew who it was - and lo and behold it was one of the few gals that were in elementary with me.  Breast cancer.

Sure I hadn't spoken to her in forever, but it is sticking with me.  I had looked for her on Facebook a while back, not finding her.  But now I see she joined last year, maybe after being diagnosed?  Who knows.  Regardless, she's been on my mind.  RIP SL.  I'll always remember that when my father passed away, you and your dad were the rare ones of my classmates that reached out with sympathies.  I remember your humor and personality.  I wish we had had a chance to catch up, if only to see what you were up to through facebook.

Today I returned my sister to the airport.  Avery and I will miss having her here visiting.  She's always quite the help, and it's nice to have someone to chat with.

Another fun update - the air conditioning in the car has NOT been working right.  I have had it cranked down to LOW (62 degrees) and blasting air, but I still sweat.  I realized today it doesn't matter if the A/C button is pushed or not, so maybe it isn't working at all.  I think it was a slow progression down to nothing.  I feel a bit like a frog in a pot of water set to boil.  I scheduled an appointment at the dealership yesterday, but the soonest appointment was next week.  Let's pray it isn't a scorcher.

I asked if the air is under warranty and their answer was it depends on what is wrong with it.  Seriously?  Aw hell no.

Time for some catching up.  Danika celebrated her 13th birthday on the 14th, marking 11 years here with me just a few days prior.  She is doing well, but does sometimes shiver in her hind legs and seem to have some periodic struggles with all of the stairs.  She's also either started not hearing me as well or just not caring as much when I call her - I believe it to be the later.  Saffy on the other hand is her normal crazy self.  They're both shedding like crazy right now, so keeping things tumbleweed free has been quite the challenge.

We did a cake smash photo session last Saturday and a family photo/first birthday photo session today.  The weather has been so sticky and hot combined with frequent rain and thunderstorms.  Meh.  This made standing outside today for an hour a bit sticky.  Avery has been cranky for these photo sessions, but I'm hopeful we got some good shots.  There are some decent shots of her despite her unhappiness last weekend - including one that beautifully captures the current color of her eyes.

All of this rain also means my lawn, I use that word loosely, is insane.  Mostly it is comprised of weeds again - despite the seeding.  It's rather frustrating.  The weeds in the flower beds are a bit obscene too - including one I pulled yesterday that was easily 3 feet tall.  How are they doing this in the mulch and getting through the weed barrier?  When I pull them it lifts the barrier and it is getting exposed and looking less than great.

Finally, something I want to moan a little about to the world.  Today, after our photos we stopped for a treat (ice cream).  As I get out of the car I immediately see a dog in a truck.  It's 80 degrees out.  I don't care if the windows are cracked, that's so not ok.  There was a state senate law that I believed passed regarding this, but clearly, our local police don't seem to agree.  I called... they came... he told me "it's only a dog" and because the dog didn't seem to be in distress it wasn't animal abuse.  I hope this guy doesn't work with the K9 unit at all.

It feels like another season of running is upon me.  I had an all clear at the dentist last week, another trim on Monday evening, and a trip to the eye doctor yesterday.  At the eye doctor I went ahead and had them do the 'extra tests' that are never covered on insurance to get a baseline since, let's be honest, I'm not getting any younger.

Of course, they see a mole/freckle on the back of my left eye, which means I need to go back again in six months to redo the tests to make sure it isn't growing/changing.  He also broached the subject of progressives, which I am SO not ready for any time soon.  I did order new frames from the Paws and Claws collection for my new prescription.  I'm glad trends are moving back towards slightly larger glasses as to not highlight that my brows are uneven.  At one point my one eye (left I believe) had returned to not needing correction, but we're moving back in the other direction again.

A few years back all of our reviews (and raises) were moved to the end of July/August time frame at work.    So here we are at that time.  Maybe that's why I had a dream last night, or maybe my subconscious knew that there was an email in my inbox waiting for me to find it this morning.

The dream wasn't a great one, instead of getting a raise, I was let go.  It was one of those lucid and vivid dreams that, while I knew I was dreaming while I was dreaming, when I woke up it still felt very real.  I was physically in the office and seeing/saying goodbye to people, many of whom haven't worked for the company in a number of years.  I was upset to be going, but had noted that I already sold the house so it would be 'easy for me to move back to NC'.

Fortunately, the email waiting for me this morning was not telling me to turn in my machines.  The increases remain modest, but I am grateful for any increase - and a check every two weeks.  When I did the math as to how much it might effect my check I had a moment.  When I had my first job (you know, a teenager with a couple of hours here and there at the mall) I would have killed for a single check at that amount.  Often by the time I filled my gas tank (and back then it was only 99 cents a gallon) I had eaten into 1/3 if not 1/2 of my check.  Today I drop what would have been 2 or 3x that old check at the grocery store without blinking an eye.

A lot has changed.  I have a ton to be grateful for.

I'm another year older.  How time is flying, I blame kiddo for that. We're a few days away from 11 months already, after all.  I took my birthday off to enjoy the day with the wee one and we met her Nonna at the Phipps Conservatory.  What a lovely place.  I could have easily been there 2x as long wandering about.

Today after her gym class, she, my Favorite Egg, and I went back into the city to check out Picklesburgh.  Oh my was it packed.  We went out for dinner Friday night, but I didn't get the fried pickles because of our plan to attend this event.  I wish I had - as I left there not getting anywhere near a fried pickle as the lines that were interesting were a bit obscene.  We did however try a peanut butter pickle cupcake and a sauerkraut brownie.  It was still a nice day out.

I've gotten a few more tomatoes from the plants, and it seems like I will have a small supply for a while moving forward.  The basil leaves that remain are pretty tiny.  I guess it really is done, sadly.

I pulled the first four red tomatoes off of the super sweet 100s plants last night.  There doesn't seem to be as many tomatoes growing on them as I would have expected/desired.  My sweet 100s from a few years ago were abundant and that was a single plant.  The skins are a bit thick, but the flavor is there - they are delightful.

I fought my basil, which kept trying to bloom, for a while.  I'd pinch off the buds and they'd be back the next day.  I finally gave it and let it bloom, which it did on one stalk and then stopped.  There still plenty of leaves, but they're smaller.

Not a spectacular "garden" by any means, but it's nice to have a couple of fresh items out back.

Avery, my Favorite Egg and I made the drive to Altoona on Saturday for a family reunion.  Not everyone was there, but I'm glad to have gotten to see as many people as we did, including one Aunt who we made a special stop to visit at home as she's been ailing after leaving the hospital in the past month.  It makes me sad to see how thin and frail many of them have become.

We were blessed with perfect weather.  The extreme heat dropped off and we had a lovely cool morning with bright blue, clear skies.  Even Pittsburgh cooperated and we didn't slow down much at all - making it to Altoona in 2 hours and 15 minutes!

After we arrived I took a loop around Mom's house.  One of these days the new owners will see someone creeping by taking photos of their house.  Sorry, I just want to see how it evolves.  Then we headed to the cemetery to visit Avery's Meme and Grandpop before heading to my cousin's where the get together was taking place.

Today was pretty average - Starbucks, church, some cleaning while Avery took a nice long nap (thank goodness), a walk under the clear blue skies that continued today, playing with Avery, watering lawns, continuing to eat leftovers from the family reunion.  I brought back a good bit of pasta salad which turned out really well, but I'm telling you after eating it for 5 meals straight it is loosing it's luster, and a big back of chicken courtesy of my cousin (also loosing it's luster).

I usually buy myself something that I consider to be a bit of a splurge for Christmas and my birthday.  What I decided to order "for me" for my upcoming not happening/I'm no longer aging birthday is actually for the kiddo.  I admire a lot of work on Etsy, but what really caught my eye were engraved wood growth charts.  I hope it is as pretty as it is in my mind.  I guess I don't see myself being in this house as long as I was the last one, so I want to be able to take those height markings with me.  But who knows, time does fly.  Hopefully I won't be retiring here though, as I've got a lot of stairs.

Well the robins are definitely reusing the nest.  I had spotted one sitting in the nest a couple of times, so I figured he/she was on eggs, but last night I saw THREE little heads pop up and saw one of the parents with a mouthful a couple of times.  It warms my heart to know that my deck helped shield 5 little lives so far this summer.  I'm glad that they find my place accommodating.  I try to keep some food out there (not constant as I might in the winter) and some water in the bird bath.

I have also found that if I move the new bed into the 'zero-g' position and move the head up a little more I am not sore and moving as much at night.

Yesterday Avery and I took advantage of our day off, despite the heat and headed north to do some shopping.  I was hoping to find a comforter or bedspread that I liked at At Home.  No luck on that front, but I was excited to see the halloween stuff already starting to fill the shelves!  I also couldn't say no to a big Zero the dog to hang on my front porch!  We walked around the Robinson mall as well.

I gotta admit, I was missing my Mom on the drive up there.  I realized that a few years ago I would have been making the drive down the mountain for us to cook out together.  It wasn't some big family get together that so many people have to celebrate, but I miss it; and while I wasn't alone, I was with my little one, I still felt a bit alone for the holiday.

We eventually caught up w/ my Favorite Egg at a friend's place for a little while - they played games, I entertained kiddo.

I've gotten a few nights in on the new bed, and alas, I am still not comfortable.  I miss my old bed and how it would hug me.  I tried reducing my typical number of pillows for the first few nights and I just couldn't get comfortable, even with the top angled up a little.  I'm still waking to shift as my hips get a little sore from staying in one position too.  *sigh*

I ordered sheets my sister recommended because they had a double-row of elastic.  I was concerned as they are only 400 thread count, but she recommended them and I figure they'll work for now, lowering my overall initial expenditures and heaven knows I'll eventually buy a second set of sheets.  Well, they're scratchy.  I guess I'm spoiled with my higher thread counts.

As to space - it is wider, but it works.  Without a headboard it can push back a bit further which compensates to allow you around the bed on both sides.  Of course, at some point I want to get another headboard, but I'll adjust to that when the time comes.

Know what's crap?  The $5000 yearly limit for pre-tax dollars for daycare.  As I prepare the paperwork I need my daycare provider to sign for our July care I realized this will put us above that $5000 threshold.  I guess the good news is both I and the provider get a few months off from paperwork.  On the other hand I won't get that full $5000 back until the end of the year anyhow as they split things across the whole year.  I certainly hope the balance we have to pay out for August-December can be written off in some other way.

On other news, I have continued to struggle with back pain.  Thinking I'd never get anywhere I tried calling the furniture company I purchased from.  Guess what - they won't send anyone out to recheck the bed for 6 months after a previous check.  If you recall, back in February they came and checked my new bed and found the box springs defective, so they replaced them.  I guess if you still have something defective that's just too bad for 6 months.  With a sigh I called the guy who I turn to for my purchases out here and he worked up his chain to get me some assistance.

I'm lucky to say that they were able to get me covered under the comfort guarantee, even though I was about 10 days past the 120 day window on the replacement box springs, but obviously way out of that window for the initial purchase.  What that means is for a $100 fee to dispose of the old stuff they'll give me credit towards purchase of another.  With prodding from my sister I caved and ordered a king sized bed last night - worse still, one that has a base that moves.  How old does that make me sound?  The new bed will be here on Wednesday, which has me scrambling to get some sheets here in time - never mind all of the other things that will need to be purchased (dust ruffle, comforter, mattress protector (which I already bought there in the store as it ups their warranty on the bed) etc).

I hope this doesn't make my bedroom look tiny.  Ultimately the deciding factor on the size upgrade was that before I know it, I will have someone else trying to sneak into my bed.  I may as well make room for her now.

I've been quite sore since last week.  My neck and upper back first on Friday.  Then the next day both of my calves kicked in, also sore - almost like after some of the middle of the night charlie horses I got while prego.  My calves feel still a light pull, but it moved down into my right foot yesterday and then my arms were hurting - today it's my left wrist that barely wants to bend without pain.  What on EARTH did I do to my body?  This all started after my most recent chiro appointment, which would explain the neck/back, but my calves?  Arms?  Wrist?

I've spent the past two nights partially on the couch sleeping as my side of the bed disagrees with my left hip and lower back, and frankly that's the only part of me that hasn't been in notable pain for the past few days.

Another momentous occasion of great sadness... last night I finally (long overdue) threw away my Pampered Chef Generation 2 cookware pan that was my go to for meatloaf.  How I wish they still made that set (without the rivets on the inside of the pans).

The little one and I played (pre-planned) hookie today and headed to the National Aviary in Pittsburgh where we caught up w/ my Favorite Egg's Mom.  It's a nice little place.  I'm sure it will feel like there is more to do once they're finished remodeling the one larger/original area.

I loved the penguin area.  You could pop your head up into the middle of the area and get up close to them and an area where the water is against the glass and you can watch them swim and play.  There was one in particular that kept frolicking against the glass near the kids, and then I noticed his name tag - Slippy!  My dear friend, imho, giving us a sweet little hello from beyond.  You see, she also loved hockey, but always claimed her favorite (Pittsburgh) Penguin was Iceburgh.

The bats were pretty cool to see as well as some of the other larger birds like the owls and eagles. I have to say seeing the eagles is great, but I know it won't compare to the day I finally get to see them out near the lake in the wild.  I also always enjoy watching flamingos.

From there we went for lunch - at the Cheesecake Factory.  It's been many years, since I was in NC as a matter of fact since I've been there.  It surprises me how good the non-dessert food is, but yea, you know I brought home a slice too.

I'm sitting here holding Avery as she takes her late afternoon nap.  Boy I wish I could wipe out with her as I did for her earlier nap today.  My friend Tanya was in very briefly once again so we spent the night up talking before she headed back to the airport. It's been a long time since I went to bed at 5 a.m., but even worse with a storm rolls that in at  5:20 a.m., upsetting Safyre. I'm not doing too bad for only having 2 hours of sleep (yes we still made it to church - it isn't like Avery was going to sleep in too long).

We had to look closely at our schedule for the next few weeks. It seems like everything is planned for June or July. I hated to tell several friends we wouldn't make it to their events, it just wouldn't be very fair to be on the road for long hours every weekend (and in one case, on both weekend days) - for Avery or the dogs.

Here it is Sunday night once again. At least got through all of the laundry and scrubbed the shower. I made a feeble attempt to trim back the shrubs behind the fence but it was simply too hot earlier today and I didn't get as much done as I probably should have. The deck is back in functional order and the ceiling fan is working as well. I guess some progress was made, but I'm still not wanting to get up and work tomorrow - or to take the wee one (cranky or not) to daycare.

Here it is June already.  I had hoped to get Avery down to visit at my sister's this month, but that's not happening.  It seems like every weekend is booked, if not double- or triple-booked.  It's okay, I'll wait it out and try to get the best flight price/deal, even if it means we go to Texas when it's way to friggin hot to go to Texas.

The underside of the deck roof now has two layers of urethane on it, we're not sure if he will go for the third.  I'm ready to have my deck back.  It cooled off a bit today, it would have been nice to go sit out there for a little while.  The electrician I found finished up he work I had on his docket, meaning there is now a ceiling fan connected out back too.  I also have another plug in the computer room, spare bedroom, and basement - and the two lights in the basement are now on a switch instead of a pull string.

I left work a bit early today for a hair appointment.  From there I ran quickly to another local farm's market area where I picked up some fresh veggies before coming back to get Avery.  Since it was so nice, we went for a walk after getting home and as she seems to do often, she fell asleep while we walked.  I guess learning how to crawl is pretty tiring, as she still managed to wipe out for the night on time.

As to the baby robins, I think they're gone (as of today) already!  I know they only stay in the nest for like two weeks, but it seems so fast.  Good luck little birdies!  I'm thinking about hanging a vacancy sign.

I love long weekends. I really could spend 24-7 with the wee one and be quite happy.  Stay at home Mom's that complain are crazy.  Now to come up with a "win the lottery" strategy that works.

Yesterday we visited at Jay and Jenn's get together yesterday after heading to Bridgeville to try a place we had a groupon for.  The Railyard was decent, but I'll state that much of what I had was pretty bland.  Fried pickles were a very large serving, but the breading was basically panko and zilch for zest/seasoning.  The dipping sauce helped them out to be pleasant enough, but even that could have used a little bit of a kick of something.  The fish and chips followed suit - HUGE serving, but basic panko-style crust without much flavor.  The fries are fresh cut which is always nice, sliced thin, but not over cooked - pleasant surprise.  I'd love to report on the Guinness chocolate cake, but they were out.  We had the cookie instead which wasn't bad, I just had my heart set on that cake.

Last night we pressure washed the ceiling of the deck roof (and I cleaned a few other things that didn't get done last weekend w/ the deck itself) and sprayed the carpenter bee holes with appropriate bee spray.  This morning my Favorite Egg covered the holes and taped things off in preparation to put the urethane up.  I pray this works/keeps them away.

Since all of the furniture from the deck is below the deck, I sat down there long enough to notice that we have at least two baby robins in the nest down there!  I then noticed the robin siting on the fence, probably waiting for me to leave so he/she could feed the babies, so Avery and I packed up and came back inside.  This nest is from a previous year or two, which I left behind, and I'm glad I did.  Welcome birdies!

Effn bees.  Once again this year I'm fighting the bees who keep trying to set up shop out back (wasps and yellow jackets).  Today however I also spotted the first one - a carpenter bee on my deck roof *yes, the one I just put in last year*  Upon closer inspection there are several holes out there. *sigh*  The guy who did the roofing said it was rare that carpenter bees would go after this, it's why I went ahead and picked the wood ceiling.  So now I have to try and figure out how to deal with them.  I had issues with them at the eves on the Jtown house and couldn't get rid of them until I totally covered over the wood w/ soffit and fascia.  I'm so not happy.  I guess I'll be trying to get the wood sealed... or paying someone too and hoping that deters/stops it? :(

Friday night I ventured to another greenhouse in the area and we have a winner - a very nice place.  I picked up two of my sweet, actually SUPER sweet 100s tomato plants and a basil plant.  I wanted to get them into my pots on Saturday, but do you think I could find my large ceramic pots ANYWHERE?  I know they were moved, so where on earth did they go?  So yesterday I was out running a bit more.  I'm not spending on new ceramic ones because that's crazy expensive, so instead I cheaped out and bought two big black buckets from Home Depot.  I bought spray paint to make them look nicer too.

Last night I got one bucket partially painted and the spray paint stopped working. GAH!  So today I was out again to take that can back and get more.  Regardless, earlier today I put the plants into the partially painted pots.  Today my Favorite Egg is here helping out, pressure washing the deck and some of the dirty spots on the siding.

At church this morning I was surprised when the pastor asked me about joining the board of trustees.  So that may be happening too.  I've been wondering how to get involved at this church since we don't have the youth group or other activities that my old/larger church had going on.

It's nice to be recognized for something - to be told you're doing a good job.  Sometimes we hear these things, but not from the people we really wanted and expected to hear it from.  Sometimes the people you want to hear these things from are completely silent and it breaks your heart and ruins what otherwise a lovely day.

Life is very different now... my biggest thrill was finding a whole pile of baby food marked down in Iggle last night.  I guess I always loved a 'good deal' so it isn't that big of a leap, and then needing to organize and plot/plan the order of eating schedule to ensure that one new item is introduced at a time is in my wheelhouse of neurotic activities.

I'm very glad I put of making my grocery run as I suspect they had JUST done the inventory that resulted in these markdowns and had I rushed there after returning from vaca I would have not scored.

We once again visited with the Grandeur of the Seas.  Our drive to Baltimore on the 25th was long, but uneventful other than a few spots of rain.  The hotel I typically go with was showing as permanently closed, so I booked another hotel in that same area that offered transportation to and from the cruise ship.  The room was not as nice, but it functioned.  Being there I see that the hotel I use to use is now under a different name, but I don't recall seeing the park and cruise deal there.

Our room onboard was an interior (read:  incredibly small with a shower curtain that likes to get up close and personal).  The room was even smaller once we set up Avery's pack and play (provided by the line), but since we had to get a 3-4 person room we were able to drop one of the bunks down to use for storage (and bonking my head).  The staff onboard is still great, the food is still quite good.  Grandeur herself is showing lots of signs of disrepair on the outside (lots of rust that I'm surprised they're not more active tending to).  Rumors swirl that she may be leaving the fleet and being replaced in Baltimore by her sister, Enchantment.

After one full day at sea we stopped in Charleston, where we walked in the main area near the pier.  We wandered and found a good cup of coffee and then a bar for a couple of beers.  We walked through the market area and then down to Rainbow Row and over by the water to the ferry pier where we took Avery to sit on the swings we were on a few years ago right before we started dating.

The next two days were Port Canaveral and Miami, as I mentioned, we stayed onboard.  Next stop was to be Cococay, but that was scratched due to rough conditions that prevented safe tendering.  Instead we pressed on to Nassau, where we got a day and a half instead of the one day.

Our first day in Nassau we walked to Senor Frog's for a few drinks and then into a few shops before returning to the ship.  On day two, since we missed Cococay we booked an excursion by ferry to Blue Lagoon.  That morning was cool and rainy, and we almost cancelled - but we had come too far to not get to put Avery's toes into the sand and water.  Blue Lagoon was not overly impressive to me - I wouldn't recommend it.  As to the water and sand:  Avery cried.  I'm hoping she'll do better if we ca put those toes into WARM water.

Then we had two days at sea as we returned to Baltimore and then the looong drive home.  It feels so much further to Baltimore now that I've moved - it is an extra hour away, but it feels like even more.

I'm glad to be home, but tired, and not eager to get back to the grind.  In the mean time, the rest of my weekend was trying to get some basics (laundry) done.

I haven't mentioned it often enough, but I am loving where I live.  The fact that there are people out walking in this neighborhood and many kids about is just awesome to me (even when you have to wait for them to get off of the road so you can pass).  I love the facebook group for the community too - people putting things up for sale from their kids pretty inexpensive and even putting things out there for free.  This morning I picked up a metal framed fisher price tricycle that someone said "free, it'll be at the end of my driveway if you want it".  Um, yes please.  Even if Avery hates it - it can always go to consignment or get donated.

We had a few pleasant days that allowed us to go for walks, but here we are again with rain.  I'm not a fan, but it still beats snow, and I'm still in my shorts trying to will the summer weather into being.

This past weekend I had my evening out to go see Matt and Kim live at Mr. Smalls Theatre in Millvale!  I had a blast.  Once I found parking (parking on street there) I walked down to Strange Roots, grabbed a sweet beer, and grabbed a bulgogi bowl from a food truck parked in their lot.  Good stuff - both the beer and the bowl!  Then I walked back to the venue (three cheers for that pleasant weather).  Matt and Kim are high energy and fun.  I've been watching their blogs and that is just who they are - and that's who they are on stage.  I love it.  More fun stuff on the horizon, I'll report back as soon as I can!

Snow is still flying.  April 19.  Sure we don't get as much here as I did back in the Jingle, but this is getting a little ridiculous.  I keep saying it has to be almost over and now I am starting to think every time I say that I am cursing us to another week of cold and depressing weather.  I need my spring boost of energy, let's make this happen mother nature.

It's amazing what a little sunshine and warm weather can do...of course, as I type this the temperatures are dropping again and I've already received the ice precip alert email.  This weekend was beautiful - 70s and 80s!  Avery and I only got one walk around the neighborhood in, but we also walked around the outlets quickly on Friday night.  She got to try on her first pair of shorts and sported her sunglasses, sunhat, and bare feet too this weekend!  The flowering trees around here are bursting forth and I've seen a ton of daffodils glowing gold.

In addition to some cleaning/routine tasks this weekend...  Saturday morning Avery cooperated enough that I got some work done in her room, moving the extra dresser out of her closet to the spare bedroom and reorganizing her closet a bit.  I even scooped up everything I could find in the back yard.  While I did take a pass a while back that lightened the load, there was still plenty to gather.

I pulled the mower out briefly earlier today to catch the patch out back that is getting too tall/thick already.  I do think some of the yard will likely need additional seeding this year, but part of it is quite lush and thick already.  I also got some new shelves organized in the basement with some of my extra canned goods and baby foods.  Finally, the safety latches are on the main cabinets, ready for when the wee one is fully mobile.  That was after church and a bit of grocery shopping.

I feel like I achieve so much this weekend.  I swear the warm weather was to "blame". One thing I always forget about though is how the nicer weather comes with sinus issues.

I've lived what - half of my anticipated life span?  I still haven't figured a ton of stuff out.  The one thing I know for sure is that no matter how much I have changed and grown through the years, I'm still me at the core and there are a lot of people out there who don't like _me_.  Wherever I go - there I am, right?  As the Lost Dog Street Band says - My body's a prison, my mind is a cell - and you can't get away from yourself.

I'm a better person/human being than I was how many years ago.  I know that.  But I still have to put on a mask and not relax or let down my guard completely.  The biggest thing I've gotten zinged on through the years by those closest to me is being negative.  Aren't we supposed to have someone close to us that we can let that stuff out too?  Are we supposed to let it all fester inside?

I carry emotional scars that I try to not allow to reopen, but sometimes they do.  Whether it's the memory of the first person who carved me up when I was younger or the emails that I should probably delete (even though I can remember the words clearly) from my biggest crushing blow.  It's even the people who barely knew me when I was in the depths of that crushing blow but kept their distance because I simply wasn't "well enough" for them.

I guess it's a good time to say thank you again to the people who are always there for me, and to remind myself that I do have people I can truly call friends - that care and don't mind when I'm down, need to complain, or feel like a failure.  I'm reminded too of one of those great friends, Christine, who will be gone for a year already next month, the person who was there - physically - within minutes at all hours when I struggled to heal from the crushing blow.  I miss you friend.

I look at my sweet little girl and she's so happy.  Please Lord, don't allow anyone to reach in and change who she is at the very core with hateful words or actions.  May she always be so sweet and happy.  Don't be like me.

I finally snapped after over a year living here and sought out a new massage therapist as I know I'll never get back to Johnstown during windows when my favored massage therapist is working, plus I've been in a world of hurt.  My back, my hips, my shoulders, everything.  I felt wonky in bed like I was at an angle too.  Last night after and today I am sore like a tenderized piece of meat, especially right in my arm pits, but it's a good pain as the rest of it is dialed back quite a few notches.  I felt like I was laying flat last night too!

I really have taken a step back in the past few weeks and realized I need to do more for me (the hair cut, this massage - I want to get in for a pedi).  I need it to feel human again and to motivate me into spring.

We had a pleasant, but chilly weekend.  I left Avery behind on Saturday morning w/ her Dad so I could do something for me.  All I've done morning, noon, and night for months now is pulled my hair back to avoid it being in the way when holding my sweet girl close.  It really drained me to just have a mess of hair that was always in the way.  So I went and got a cut and color.  My most recent visit for cut and color was less than 24 hours before I went into labor, so that was 7 months ago and I was long over due.  I feel so much more human and like I still exist as more than "Avery's Mom".  It's a good bit shorter, but I love it.  When you get your hair done that last thing you want to do is sit at home.  So on Saturday afternoon we headed out to do a little running.

Sunday however was our big adventure - back to Johnstown.  The young Mr Law was celebrating receipt of his Eagle Scout award and I'm so glad we were able to go.  It boggles me how quickly time has gone that this amazing guy was just a wee little one like my Avery a blink of an eye ago.  Here he is - all grown and with so many hugely symbolic events falling at his feet in the next few months.  It's an exciting time in a young adult's life.  I pray he enjoys each and every moment of it.

While we were there we took the opportunity to quickly get together with the Wild One and her family.  Kids being the germ pools that they are and all, she hadn't gotten to meet Avery yet.

Let's talk about something that is none of my d*mn business, but too bad.  I couldn't help but notice the overwhelming smell of cigarette smoke as I went to leave daycare this morning, walking through the older kids' section past their coats.  If you smoke around you're kid you're an a-hole.  That includes if you smoke inside the home in which they live.

Do I think my parents were a-holes?  Yes, kind of, they also had the minor excuse of it being a different time, but it doesn't fully excuse them from the a-holishness of it.  People with young children today knew damn well how dangerous those things were when they started smoking.

Why are you an a-hole?  Let's throw all of the health related issues out there.  You're poisoning your children, destroying their lungs, putting them at greater risk for asthma (if you're lucky) and cancers.  You're also doing the same thing to yourself.  If you die, your kids finish growing up without a parent.  I know.  I watched the result of smoking help take my father down when I was 12.  I was blessed that my Mom made it to my 40s, but her smoking also is what contributed to her death.  They both would have been here longer had they not smoked - my Mom would have met my daughter, her granddaughter.

Outside of the health factors:
Your kid stinks.  Yep, you can't smell it - but your kid is the one that smells bad at school.  Sure it isn't BO but it's still incredibly gross and I bet other kids comment or make fun.  Your kids stuff all stinks and gets discolored and dirty looking.  So much for keeping that favorite toy and it looking respectable to cherish for the rest of their lives.

I bet some kids don't want to come to your house - or some of their parents don't want their kids around your kid because they'd be exposed to the smoke and smell.  Your child doesn't understand why those kids don't want to be their friend, they think it's something personal - something wrong _with them_.

You waste how much money every year sucking crap into your lungs.  What could that money do to cushion either your retirement (so your kid doesn't have to help pay for your health care if you do actually make it to old age) or give your child a good foot forward on education expenses or as a nice inheritance.

If you're one of those parents who does go outside to smoke do you think you're in the clear?  No sir.  How much time are you wasting outside feeding your addiction instead of playing or spending time with your child.  You think it's only 5 minutes, but 5 minutes every what... two hours?  Every hour?

Parents would do anything for their kids, right?  So why not quit?  Stop being selfish.  Do it today.  Your kids look up to you.  Be the hero they see you as.  Enlist their help to encourage you and tell you "no no no!" , teach them that sometimes you make mistakes too, teach them that sometimes things worth doing to better yourself require effort and commitment.

I've never been a smoker and I don't know personally how difficult that is to do, but I have no doubt it isn't easy.  I know people who have done it - and I'm so proud of them (even years after they tossed that junk aside).  You can do it.  Please!

The taxes are finished.  All said and done I lost half of my federal return to the house in Johnstown.  On one hand it was a blessing that it was only half (after our initial pass made it look like it would be swallowed whole) on the other hand I'm still pissed I lost half.  Between the large fee for the tax work (because of all of the forms and the several hundred dollars I owe PA *hiss* there is even less of that half to use for other purposes.  Regardless, I'm shaking it off because I'm done.  There is nothing else that will effect me from there.  I can, at least, still put a small chunk into Avery's savings and do some smaller things here I wanted to do, even if I won't be re-cushioning my slush fund.

I'm slowly getting used to the new phone.  It isn't as large as it could be, and I'm not struggling as much as I expected in that regard.  The biggest problem so far has been convincing Avery that the sparkly case is not a play toy, but I suspect that struggle will go on for years.  Speaking of her, can I go back to Friday?  I hate Mondays extra now that they follow up a weekend of getting to hang out with my sweet girl.

Still no final answers on my 2017 taxes to report.  I can give you the update that the previous calculations were done using a 50/50 split rather than a 1/3 split to the apartment, so that helps a little.  I offered up more potential counter information and now I am holding and waiting.  I'm really not liking the delay that this years experience has to it.  I'm tempted to schedule another appointment so I have a definitive timeline on when I can expect my information to be completed.

I did move out on one item I've been wanting to purchase that I was considering being part of my tax refund and that's a new cell phone.  Buying a new phone is a big commitment to me.  My old one was purchased in August 2014, so I definitely get my use out of one.  She's still operating reasonably well, but my big push is to have a better camera and video capability along with more memory for vacations and day to day capturing of the moments with Avery.  Pretty good excuse, huh?!

Fortunately, with the Samsung Galaxy s9s coming out the s7s dropped in price.  I know it seems wrong to buy an older phone, but I was rocking a s4, so this is still a huge step up and not as massive of a cost.  Best Buy was also offering a better deal than direct through AT&T, so I am getting the phone for $279.99 instead of over $400.  I can swallow that price point a lot easier than $700, $800, $900.  I am going to put it on the plan since there is no interest and it only ups my bill by $9.33 a month, again - tolerable.  I guess I need to order some cute cases.  I'll be sad to see some of my fun ones go.

I'm trying hard to not allow the stress to settle in on me.  But the house back in Jtown may have gotten one more laugh.  I knew I'd have some impact to my taxes selling it because of the rental, but right now it is looking ridiculous.  I'm still hopeful that there is an error on the part of the tax consultant, but I haven't heard back yet.

The issue:  capital gains.  To summarize in plain speech, the IRS thinks I made a bunch of money on the place *laugh*.  I sold it for $26,500 more than I paid for it back in 1999.  Of course that's not what I cleared on it thanks to fees etc.  Let's be generous and say it was worth $1000 more in my pocket for each year I owned the place, ignoring the 10s of thousands of dollars that were put into siding, fence, new windows, adding a front porch, a new kitchen in the apartment, etc.

Because of the little one I wasn't sure how my taxes would look this year, so I continued at the same pre-baby pace for withholdings knowing full well I was giving the government an interest free loan.  My quick calculations and the initial numbers at the tax office were about the same, I was looking at $7500ish coming back.  Well if everything is right, she told me the capital gains will eat up most of it.

Seriously, how is 28% of what I "made" on the WHOLE house (not just the rental portion) what you want from me?  That simply cannot be.  She has the whole list of everything I did there at the house (and apartment) through the years (as was provided to the real estate agent when I listed it) and it feels like none of it 'counts' to help me out.  I did come up with a few other things, but I'm not sure if they can help me either since they were done in 2016 to ready the house (like the unexpected need to rerun the sewer from the apartment, deal w/ the critter issue, or the apartment furnace going out).

I'm ill about it.  I wanted to put some money back into my slush fund after all of the work I did around the house here last year.  I wanted to throw another mortgage payment or something out there to scoot further ahead.  I justified my living room furniture purchase with this planned influx.  But most of all I wanted to take what I instantly get back for having the baby here and put it into her savings.

Previous year's tax consultants and my real estate agent made it sound like it wouldn't be anywhere near this bad, so I'm really hoping we're missing that whole "the apartment is only 1/3 of the property" thing.  I don't want $2500 stolen from me either, but it's better than $7500.  People that buy up rental properties - do they not get hosed when they want out?  What about if they pass away?  Is the estate raped too?

Dear Government, taxation is theft.  We never really own our home, which is bull.  You f those of us that work hard at every turn and hand over what you've stolen from us to people who are often too lazy to work for themselves. Do not mistake this for charity.  Charity is never given at the end of a sword.

I had the heat turned off for almost 36 hours, but I had to turn it back on last night as our temps quickly dropped again.  We're in the 30s today, normal I guess.  The rain rolled in over night, which is scary considering how water logged everything already is.

I booked a chiropractor appointment yesterday afternoon in the hopes that getting back into alignment (now that I have the replaced box springs) is what I needed to feel better again in the morning.  I do feel like I slept decently, but I'm still a little tender today from the adjustment.  We'll see how I feel tomorrow.  Since I was already out and had some time before I had to pick up kiddo I crossed a few other things off of my to do list.  I have a fresh tank of gas for the grill, which is awesome because on our walk the other day I could smell the grills going and it was killing me.  I hit the post office to drop something there.  I ran into DG and got a couple of deals in there.  But most importantly, I hit the liquor store.  My sister and I finished the whipped vodka that was here, so I needed to get more.  I don't think I had any captain left in what got moved last year, so another bottle of that was acquired, along with some rum chata and "moonshine cherries".

The next furniture I'm eager to purchase/replace are end tables in the living room (prb won't get another coffee table until Avery is older) and a side table for use in the dining room.  I know this seems like a random follow up to the next paragraph, but I assure you it isn't.  I lost my storage space for bottles from the last house and I miss it.  I'm thinking if I get the right side table with doors/storage I can place bottles in there.

Not only did we go for a walk after we got home, but we also sat on the deck for a few minutes.  I love the nicer temperatures so much.  Dear Mother Nature, if for no other reason than to spite the Groundhog, please keep it like this forever so my little one and I can get out with short sleeves and absorb some vitamin D.

70.  The thermometer hit 70 yesterday.  Of course, I looked and it appeared that Jtown was 20 degrees behind.  I'm loving it here.

I had to take advantage of that weather coinciding with a day off of work for the holiday, so Avery and I went shopping including the outlets (open air).  If it's still so pleasant this evening maybe we need to go for a walk too.

Today it was to 67 by 10am.  I opened a window and the fresh air is delightful.  EDIT:  at 3:45pm, it's 77 degrees out there.  Oh yes, bring on the global warming.

I neglected to mention that I saw my first robin... actually a whole crew of about 12 of them on Friday (Feb 16).  I saw two more this morning.  I know I know, they don't actually leave, but in my heart it makes it feel like spring is near and I love seeing them and looking back to see when I spotted them first in years past.  I think it's safe to say this is the first mid-Feb spotting, most were in the middle of March.

Avery's Auntie Jackie headed for the hills just in time... the snow is a falling here this afternoon.  We took her back to the airport earlier today as the temps were dropping and the snow was starting to move into the area.  While she was here she was, as always, very good to us.  I have some left over ham pot pie and some honey lime chicken enchiladas both in the fridge and the freezer as case in point.  Her experience w/ kiddos also helped get girl-child a little more practice with the spoon.  It isn't that I don't spoon feed her, I do, but it just wasn't going as well.

Baptism day here at the house went very well, but it was quite tiring.  I am so grateful that the weather held out for us and for everyone that joined us.  This place was hopping!  Once again I didn't get to spend enough time with each person, but I know everyone understands that it is hard to linger.

The couches are comfy, but firmer than they were in the store, so I know they'll break in a bit softer.  We did have one issue at the get together w/ the new couches and that is one of the little ones didn't realize they shouldn't push the love seat back the whole way (I have it closer to the wall so it doesn't take over the whole room, but that means you can put your feet up but not recline back the whole way).  Well, guess what - the couch won.  My wall has a hole in it.  *sigh*

Yesterday my replacement box springs arrived.  That's where they determined the issue was.  I did hear a noise when the guy inspecting them gave a firm rap on the side of my box spring (they're split).  Already I feel a very distinct difference, but I know it will take a few nights for my back to readjust.  I would have said I slept well, but a little someone was up twice last night.

My back is definitely still not recovered from maternity, not that it was perfect to begin with.  I got out back to scoop the over abundance of dog poo and had to stop after two grocery bags as my back was barking.  This happened a little while back this winter after filling one grocery bag.  There is, unfortunately, plenty more out there.  It rained for a while and pretty hard later yesterday so the already moist deposits would be impossible to collect right now.

I'm not sure if I complained about it on here, but my four month old mattress has been leaving me sore.  I called the furniture store about the bed feeling like it's dropping under my rear, so they sent out someone to inspect it today.  He can't tell me what they'd do for me, since he is third party and only here to measure, but he did note a 1" drop where I was indicating an issue.  So, at least I'm not completely crazy, even if I am a bit of a princess and the pea type.  He also didn't have a good poker face for when I noted that the mattress is only 4 months old, so that gives me an indication that it's bad.

I have the furniture company coming again too... because after picking my sister up from the airport with the shopping bug having bit my ass we headed to look at couches.  I warmed up on the way to get her, buying a large picture of birds that I'm going to hang in my bedroom and a few small items (Easter cross for the front door included).  I sat down in this couch and was in love.  So comfortable.  Firm but not lacking cushion.  Nice high backs.  Reclines!  So, what other colors does it come in (I'm thinking I need to commit between dark brown and black).  None.  Just the "mushroom" color.  Does it come w/ non-power recline?  No.  Hmm.  Sat in every other couch, wasn't feeling it... but I was starting to feel like I could deal with the "mushroom".  I will now have 4 reclining seats across my new couch and loveseat.

At least the new furniture will be here in time for our little get together, which we decided to move to the house, after Avery's baptism.  Fact is, there are some folks talking about coming from quite a distance and they need to see the house too, plus the eateries that would be options are a little further away and not what I wanted.  Thank goodness for a sister who is going to help me to pull together a brunch.  Now if the weather will just go ahead and treat us well.

Nothing huge to note here as of late.  It is pretty sad when my life is too mundane to report on a blog about my mundane life.  The most exciting things are happening with the kid (no surprise there) and being reported on that blog instead.  But I did come up with a few tidbits...

With the wee one forming more patterns and me learning how to interpret them, it has been easier to get out a bit here during this warm weather swing.  We headed out this past Friday to catch up with the Makins for a bite of sushi!  It wasn't quite Nyko's, as there are certain rolls they had that I adored, but it was pretty good.  I am confident however that when we make our next trip to Jtown a stop at Nyko's is definitely on the schedule.

I started spotting some of the plants trying to come up out front.  Hopefully everything will survive any future blasts of cold that come through.  I'm very eager to see spring with the beautified front yard.

This week we will be readying ourselves for a visit from my sister.  I know she doesn't care if I clean before she arrives, and it won't all get done - but some of it desperately needs done.  Because she is always looking for something to do and I spotted a good deal on a ceiling fan I liked I now have a fan ready to install in my bedroom (replacing the one that was improperly wired - both the light and fan are on the same switch).  I'll then move the existing fan to the workout room so it too will have a light/fan on switches.

We didn't get the amount of snow they called for, which pleased me greatly.  It was raining yesterday afternoon and pretty hard later in the evening.  I saw the temps in the 60s around noon and watched it drop 7 degrees to 34 from the time I left to pick up the baby until I returned home (and daycare is only 5 minutes away).  At that point the water was lying on the main road pretty heavy and I worried we'd have an ice rink.  Once again things were plowed out front before I even got out of bed at 8am. (She let me sleep in!  -and I had fallen asleep on the couch last night around 8 too - I feel pretty well rested today.)

Tonight I tried a local wing joint, The Hofbrau just down the road a wee bit.  They've been on my radar for a while, but I finally decided to brave the cold with the baby to hunt and gather, since they don't seem to appeal to my Favorite Egg.  I have to say, it was a good recommendation!  The wings themselves were perfectly cooked, my only complaint is that honey-garlic really should have chunks (and lots of them) garlic.  The cheese sticks were meh - but they might be better reheated.  Now the fried cauliflower?  They were amazing!

The wee one and I returned home with our goodies and fired up Netflix to watch The Polka King, a Jack Black flick that I was made aware of because the Alex Meixner band put the word out there, as they - or at least he, not sure which - helped out with the album and some of the shows they've been hitting to market it.  I guess I should have finished watching the end of the latest Pirates of the Caribbean movie since I fell asleep midway through it last night.

As much as early last year saw all too much death and passing - this year I am already aware of two friends who lost a family member due to suicide.  There just aren't words.  It doesn't make sense.  I can't imagine being in such a state and yes, I have struggled in years past with my own flavors of depression.  I look back many years to people I know who had someone close to them choose the same path and I see how much it, pardon my bluntness, but how much it messed those people up.  We're talking relationship problems and stability/common sense lost in very smart and vibrant people.

I just pray to see much less of this around me and the people I know.  I pray that I would see or hear any cries for help made in my presence.  I pray that anyone that is in that struggle finds the strength to fight and to get the help they need.

I turn to my upbringing as a Catholic and I struggle.  Is it a mortal sin?  Do these people go to hell?  I can't imagine anyone who chooses this path being well mentally and they are absolutely being tortured by something inside.  How does He see all of this?  That is my struggle today as this confusion gives me pause when I want to say with confidence "you'll be reunited one day".  Forgive my questioning - I seek to understand.

I neglected to mention the girls had their yearly trip to the vet last weekend.  This meant we met a new/local vet.  I'm still very sad to part ways with RVH and Dr. S, but this vet seemed pleasant and concerned enough.  While the bill was larger than it was back in Jtown (and so many ppl said RVH was $$$$) it wasn't as bad as I was expecting.  Either way we're all stocked up on heartworm preventative and vaccinated for another year, well, except Saffy's rabies which is due in May.

We made it through the first freeze and snow/slush with the back stairs and the girls didn't have any issues.  I can, of course, shift to bringing them in and out through the basement door if need be, but as creatures of habit I'm sure they'd sneak up the stairs when they were finished using the facilities before coming to the basement door.

Speaking of the freeze, I'm eager for a few days here with warmer daytime temps.  I won't feel as trapped in the house.   Now is the time to make the grocery run and all else, right?  Of course two of the three days of warmer weather also are calling for rain.  From the stand point of the dogs and the back yard I'd rather those days be snow, so I don't have a muddy mess to contend with.

There is actually a dusting of snow on the road.  I always get a little tense and worried about sliding and probably drive more like a southerner, but I think many folks here have me beat.  I dropped Avery off this morning without an issue, thank God, but I already saw someone spinning trying to get up the grade in front of my house just a few minutes ago.  So where I wasn't nervous before I am now - thanks bro.  The plow was headed in the other direction at the same time as this person was spinning tires, which is pretty impressive considering the road goes to a no outlet - they're on top of it here pretty fast.  I guess the test will be if we get more to see if/when they come back and plow again.

The cancelled school too... it's back up to 32 degrees, and it's not even an inch yet, so... wth?  With it cancelled I'm even more surprised they were out plowing already.  Dorothy, you're not in Richland anymore.

My days are all screwed up... so I sang to Saffy today for her 9th birthday with me (and since I'm guessing she was a year when I got her - her 10th birthday overall).  On one hand I should feel bad for not celebrating her yesterday, but on the other hand I think it's nice to celebrate her on Pete Steele's birthday too!

The temps are still pretty darn cold but it's better today than it was a few days ago.  Hopefully it won't dip back down as the wee one has to head to the doctor for her 4 month check (albeit late) at the end of the day.

I neglected to mention I started off my around the house goals for 2018 on the right foot.  Yesterday a handyman came to install the cabinets in the laundry room.  They look great and I'm very pleased.  He didn't make a mess, was quick (quicker than guestimated), and reasonably priced.  I am definitely going to call him for the next task.  All in (cabinets and installation) I was just between $500-600.  I'm golden with that.

I also think I've picked the tile I want for the half bath on the small wall behind the mirror/vanity.  I can order that at any point and hold it here until I get the other components.  Since there is cutting involved (outside) we're going to hold off until the weather is a little more agreeable to start up this activity.

It has inspired me however (and since the budget wasn't blown I feel like I can slush some money in another direction).  I wish I had confidence in a selection of a replacement light for the dining room.

I want to, once again, sing the praises of having a garage I can use.  This morning the temperature on the dash of the car went from in the 30's to -10 after I pulled out of the garage.  I can't imaging needing to warm up a car every morning to make it safe to load the baby in to take her to daycare.  While 30's aren't ideal, it sure beats being out in the frigid cold.  Granted, I'm still shaking my head at the idiocy that is not having any heat in the garage itself (new code is stupid).

Lord, thank you for our warm home.

You know it's cold when Safyre is standing at the door eager to come back in.