I'm finally getting the help I need.  No, not mentally.  I had someone come today to give me an estimate for cleaning.  I never feel like I can keep up.  I think this will help me feel like a weight is lifted, it will alleviate some anxiety, and it will keep us healthier.  I'm going to give it a go.  I'm basically re-routing the money I've been throwing towards payments on the new bed (which is finishing up this month before the interest would have kicked in) towards this activity.

I'm also hoping that having it cleaner will inspire me to keep other things in order.  For example - I'm hoping I'll be less likely to start a pile on the kitchen table or on my dresser because I know someone will be coming to clean so I need to keep that out of the way.  I'm also hoping that not needing to take the time to do the things she will be tending to will then free me up to get on some other things that need done, like cleaning up in the junk room.  There I need to get the clothes Avery has grown out of organized.  I also need to take a good pass on my closet and clear out things for donation.  I have one bag started.  With the end of the year quickly approaching it's time, even if I am likely to not be able to list out my donations on this year's taxes.

Speaking of which the early estimations look good.  If I do get that much back (keep in mind last year I should have gotten a chunk but it was tempered greatly by the house in Jtown) I'll probably adjust things so less is withheld.  It makes me so nervous though after the mess we had the last year I was in NC due to an error on the part of the HR staff at my ex's employer.  Admittedly it's nice to get the chunk to put towards things, but it is illogical to allow them to get a zero percent interest loan.  I'd rather have it earning for me.