Ok, I went, I walked for 15 minutes, shorter than normal, but I went!  I neglected to mention earlier how quickly things shifted from the last of the warm days and straight into all-out autumn in the past 36 hours.  I do love the autumn (minus the misty rain we currently have), even that crisp feeling, it holds the scent that is 100% fall and feels so good, despite it signalling the near arrival of winter.  It really settled in while I walked and realized it's time to pull out a set of gloves so I don't have to tuck my hands into pockets while clutching the leash.

Home sweet home.  I feel like I've been on "Go" every night this week.  At happy hour this evening I saw a major blast from the past walk in.  At first I could hardly believe my eyes that it was Jimmy, then when I saw his beautiful wife - I knew it was!  It's been years, and here they are living in Johnstown, who'da guessed I'm that out of touch.

I shot my diet to hell this evening in celebration of a departing colleague, but so be it.  Two delightful lambics and a pork bbq sandwich with sweet potato fries I'm home... and thinking I really need to go do at least a short walk tonight.  I mean, I DID get into a pair of pants this morning that I only remember being too tight since they were purchased.  Yes, definitely need to go walk.  I think tomorrow morning it's time to hit the grocery store and buy some lettuce to repent for the evening.

It's been a pretty busy week in spirit if not in actions.  I had a purse party in Altoona on Sunday, so that and a quick visit with mum before and after ate up much of that day.  Monday and tonight I hauled out for walks with the beasts, which seems to keep the evening moving quickly before me.  Last night I got word that Mithy was ready for some company so I packed up shortly after getting home from work and headed over to hand with her and my dear Addie.

I've got other activities in the next few days such as happy hours and, unfortunately, a funeral, so I may be a bit quiet.  It's funny how I sit around with nothing to do, longing for something more than the to do around the house list staring at me, but when I feel like I'm constantly running I tend to long for my couch and my puppy.  Proof I'm never happy?

So, I've had my days all mixed up.  Long story short I had today, instead of tomorrow, to get things done around here.  I still decided to sleep in, with the girls' cooperation, until 10:30.  I had to make a run to Fritz's since it's the last weekend they'll be open for produce, then into Ollies and Big Lots, as is my desire on weekends.  Not wishing us into the depths of winter, but I ended up picking up some new holiday wreaths for the front porch since my old greens are looking pretty ratty and a new entryway rug.

As for the less than desirable work I cleaned in the bathroom and vacuumed before I showered and after my running I was out scooping poop and cutting back some dead plants to make way for my faithful lawn-mowing assistance.  I'll tell you, I know I need to do more today, but for now I am just going to chill with a couple more episodes of Farscape and wait for the oven to beep.  I decided today's the day I am going to try Alton's butternut squash soup recipe.  Squash isn't suppose to be in the first phase of the diet, but I figured I'll have a bowl and freeze the rest if need be, just to get the pile of squashes off of my kitchen counter in the near term.

It's just after 6 and I have already walked two dogs for 40 minutes, and cooked and ate dinner!  I really need to leave work a smidge early more often.  I almost don't know what to do with myself!  There is, of course, still plenty to do, so I think I'll do some dusting and try to get the purses loaded in the vehicle while there is a break in the rain.  I already hung up the Peter Max that I ordered on September 11th too, it arrived today.  Admittedly, I wish I had a more prominent place for it, but this house is a bit of a challenge in terms of space in general.

Had lunch today with Miss Cindi, haven't seen her in person in a few years, since she moved away, so that was quite lovely.  I even managed to behave on the diet at Chili's which is no small feat with the lure of blackberry iced tea.  It helps that this morning (start of day 3) I was down 3lbs.  Yes, I'm counting the 1lb that I had seemed to gain back right before I kicked back in on this, I don't care if it was just water or swelling.

I saw this article this morning and wanted to share it with the world.  Bring Toronto's laws here!  Now if only there is a way to contain the back yard breeders as well.

Remember the great project exodus of 1999?  Yea, well I think it was renewed.  I've heard too many names in too short of a period of time and it ups my anxiety a bit.  As part of that exodus one slot will, in theory, be opening, unless it is absorbed.  I am going to toss my name into the hat, even though I am not confident that I'll be given a second glance.  Wish me luck.

Give me another round of luck as well, since I decided to go through the first phase of the 17 day diet again.  I've been stuck at a weight all month, despite trying (admittedly halfheartedly) to watch what I eat and still walking.  Must see the number change.

So, I came home today and noted immediately a big tuft of fur lifting out on Vixen.  I inspect further and she's got a wad of hair pulled out and a red irritated spot that looks like it was itchy.  Seriously, is she just jealous that Dani has a boo boo?  Frickin dogs.  It's been smothered in antibac cream, we'll see.

It's time.  Time to hop back on the 17 day diet phase 1 again.  I've been slacking and haven't seen any weight coming off despite my ongoing walking, so I need to kick start again.  I'm hoping this time I can take off 10 again with it this time around.  It's only going to get harder from here, as the fresh and delightful fruits go out of season.  *sigh*

I neglected to say in my earlier post that it is absolutely lovely outside today.  Perfect temp for the drive in a sweatshirt and shorts with the windows down.  The sun is out, the skies are blue and there are billowy clouds.  There won't be but a couple like it left this year at most.

It's not even 5:30 and I can already label today as a good day.  I had the draw to make the haul to Greensburg today, but I tried to fight it off for a little while.  Eventually I caved, conceding that if I got the mums planed out front I'd let myself go.  In addition to planting the mums I harvested a ton of nasturtium seeds.  These plants/flowers are said to do well in poor soil, so needless to say, they kick butt out front.  This year they were particularly prolific and have proven to have been rather fertile as well!  I'll be planting them next year, not cooking with them, for the record.

I had placed an online order for some additional Christmas gifts, showered, and headed on my way.  I can't say I bought much, but I did get a few more gifts, so I feel like I am well underway for this holiday season, which puts my mind at ease.  I also indulged and went to Olive Garden.  I had convinced myself I was NOT getting the chocolate mousse cake which is often my downfall there, I was good - until I saw the pumpkin cheesecake on the teaser menu.  DAMN YOU OG.  I'll just leave it saying I definitely need to go walk tonight.

I got lucky today and Petco had an opening to bathe Vix, so off we went first thing today.  While she was getting spa'd I did my running and finally got myself rolling on Christmas shopping.  I can mark NINE things in the notebook, YAY!  Prior to today I only had gifts for the two easiest people to shop for:  Beff and Niecey-poo.

After getting Vixen we stopped at Fritz's, their next to last weekend (boo), and the other little stand by my house.  This is the first time I stopped at this stand this year, but in years past I went there more often.  I was SO happy to see they had butternut squash!  I have been keeping an eye for it in Iggle with no luck.  That said I will be trying my hand at some homemade butternut squash soup sometime in the near future.  I also have the spaghetti squash from Thursday's farm box that I plan on cooking up today.  Let the fall comfort foods commence.

I'm also shooting to get the stencil back on the one wall in the bathroom this weekend, it really shouldn't take more than 20 minutes to do, it just needs done!  The summer comforter is in the wash and will be put away, switched out for something warmer by days end.  I actually kicked on the heat this morning when I noted that the house was down to 61.

Last week Danika's bump (which has been around for 3 years now) near her shoulder blades ended up open, bloodied up, and pretty gross.  I had cleaned it and it had scabbed over, but on Tuesday it was open and gross once again.  So, yesterday we hit the vet where she came home with two different pills to take and a topical.  She also has a nice shaved spot on her back

Looks pretty eh?  Anyhow, she's not too thrilled about swallowing these big honking pills, and I know she doesn't trick easily with hot dogs, so she isn't happy with me and it's only day one of medication.

Note that we didn't get to see my preferred vet as he's been swamped, but I'm hoping he'll do the follow up visit.  We're working to get the swelling down and get it healed up, then we'll assess if it should be removed.  They do still feel it's just a sebaceous cyst, nothing threatening, but it could have "eruptions" for lack of better phrasing in the future if we don't carve it out.

The furnace has been fixed... and, thank goodness, it wasn't an obscene cost.  With parts, labor, and cleaning (both furnaces) I came in a bit over $300.  I'll SO take that, especially since I was worried I would be dropping closer to a grand (with my luck).  So, as I bumped into the tenant as he returned home and we were finishing up with the cleaning I learned he found a place of his own.  So... the apartment will be available again soon.  Anyone looking for a single-bedroom, furnished place in Richland?  (Prb ready mid-late October.)

It's hard to believe it's been 10 years.  We all remember the level of shock that settled in on our hearts and minds.  I remember sitting transfixed and watching TV late at night, unwilling to turn it off and go to bed.  Once again in the past so many days I have been pulled into the television shows about the survivors, the last calls from those who died, and the most telling photos.  What touches me the most is that on one level we all knew the people who escaped the towers went through smoke and fire, but until you hear some of the detailed stories, you don't know how close to hell those routes were.

I only pray that those who passed that day rest in peace, may those with mental and emotional scars from escaping that day know calm, and may those who lost a loved one find comfort in the better place their loved ones surely must be.  As for me, I've been feeling drawn to head back to church the past few weeks... here I am awake in time... so I think I'm heading to church.  At least no one should look at me as strangely since it is a significant day, despite the fact that I haven't been there in probably 3 1/2 years.

Today was another day of the mundane.  I had another pedicure this afternoon.  I have to admit, I am pretty impressed that my last one was growing out and still hadn't chipped, not one little bit.  I did a little bit of running and was going to meet Beff for dinner, but Nyko's was closed for some group event.

I made an attempt to attach the pipes out back using the pvc glue I picked up at the Depot last night on the way back from toona and further inspected the low voltage lights out front.  They too haven't worked since the electrical "event", but I had previously figured it was because that plug was on the same circuit as the furnace.  Tried resetting the power supply and then decided to plug it into an outlet I know is functioning (instead of digging for the plug tester).  No dice.  That said, I guess I'm spending the money on another power supply.  Go figure, they didn't even last one full summer.

At least it was warmer today and there wasn't even a drop of rain.  There is still a nice path of water/river in my back yard, but most of it is dry enough for the girls to run around a little bit, which is good since they're all pent up energy right now.  I guess I should take Saf for a walk tonight, but I dunno.

It's been a mentally busy week that's for sure.  It wound down today with me heading out of work early for an appointment, but needing to leave even earlier to meet the furnace guy who called noting he was able to swing in.  They took a look, tinkered, and after seeing what I had noted that no error code was flashing and their initially attempts to debug ... they're not sure.  They think something got fried and they're ordering something.  I think it was a board, but, ... well, in on ear out the other.  The good news is they were here and gone in time for me to get on the road to Altoona.

There I went through another laser hair removal session.  My second session on my lower legs is next month.  This month I figured I'd start to tidy up the bikini line (dark hair and pale flesh aren't the best of playmates) and my armpits.  I'd so love to not need to shave my pits.  Heck, even if I only had to do it every now and again I'd be thrilled.  Every day leads to ingrown hairs and other nastiness.

I had dinner with mum at a local place she enjoys and headed back up the hill.  It was a good day, but felt might 'busy'.  For a third night in a row, it's barely 10pm and I'm ready to go to bed.

It was a bit warmer and the rain stopped for a little while (although it's back once again).  I guess we're pretty lucky compared to the folks an hour and a half to two hours east.

Earlier this week I had a hankering for wings and sent out the mass invite.  Tonight it was on at the Orchard.  I think there was more people there than we ever had on our regular wing nights.  You see, back in the day our crew headed out on Thursday nights for wings and/or quarter beers etc at Dougherty's.  Eventually we started also hitting the Orchard.  With Dougherty's being a distant memory in this town, the Orchard it was.  I've got to say though, if I come a half an hour ahead of the 10-15 people I was expecting, you really should do a better job of trying to make space for us.  Further, making me wait until darn near 20 after 7 to order a drink, much less my food - not cool.  So, I think they disappointed one person who had never been there before and had a small crew leave without ordering thanks to the delays and seating discomforts.

Regardless, I'm home after eating stuff I really shouldn't be... and I am so not walking tonight.  I think it's time for early to bed, another sign of the swiftly approaching fall/winter... I just want to sleep.

Last night I enjoyed a fire in the fireplace, it nicely warmed up the living room given the crappy colder, rainy weather.  Looks like I might need to pull out the space heaters way sooner than I'd like.  It would be nice to know I could just flip on the furnace... but alas, I missed the furnace guy today, getting his message only as I was leaving work.  *sigh* So I'm back on the waiting list to get an appointment.

Of course, I now think I need to try and get Danika into the vet, which is complicated by Dr. Sanderson being out tomorrow and having an appointment of my own on Friday.  You see, she has had this lump, perhaps you recall reading about it, since after a shot several years ago.  It's pretty much between her shoulder blades.  Now, I don't know if it was truly from the shot or just a coinky-dink, but it's there.  Anyhow, last night I noticed that she had a wound up high on her shoulder.  At first I though "SOB, when the hell did she and Vixen have an issue", then I noted her trying to scratch at it and recalling she's been scratching more than normal.  It needed cleaning so I was on the task with my peroxide.  I poked, prodded, looked closely at the wound, and I didn't find the aforementioned bump and now think that she scratched it open.  Yay, but why?  what?  I cleaned it again tonight, hopefully we'll keep infection away.

The good news is I think the impromptu gutter cleaning last night helped. The bad news is we're under a flood watch through Thursday, so mother nature has many more opportunities to thwart my efforts.

My work day went pretty fast with the task I have at hand. I didn't get much 'done', but my efforts kept me busy. Had a good tension headache rocking up the back of my neck and around my head when I left, but that has faded since I got home without drugs. Three more days to go.

I got up and headed to Altoona to feed mom some of the grubbage I made earlier in the weekend, with a two-pack of steaks in tow to grill. After we ate we headed to do some visiting again and I headed out from there to come back up the mountain.

My immediate order of business, despite the ongoing rain, was to go try and figure out why my gutters and downspouts at the one corner of the house are creating an issue inside. They are after all calling for rain through Thursday, along with a flood watch. Never mind the mid-50s predicted for tomorrow and mid-60s for the two days after that. Yay Johnstown. Regardless, I took the covers off and they were still loaded with junk DESPITE the gutter covers having been there. WTF. I scooped everything I could from the primary culprit (in the rain, teetering on my ladder higher than I like), and left the covers off. We'll see if that helps.

BTW, this commercial is still running, it just came on as I was typing this post. I can't be the only one who finds it incredibly disgusting. I guess it's not as rancid as this one.

Despite the ongoing heat this morning I got my rear outside and pulled out the dead/dying plants, leaving behind only what is still blooming in the flower gardens, tossed the emptied tomato and pepper plants, and pulled all of my nearly dried up perennials out of their containers. Yes, I think fall is that imminent. Another weekend, maybe a month or so and I'll be pulling the rest from the flower beds and putting out the shovels. Whee.

I had the joy of catching up with Kath, Mark, and Mikey for Chinese tonight. I looked back in my old posts to see it's been 3 1/2 months since the last time we all got caught up there and let me tell you how long overdue that is. It's so good to be around people that make me forget about what's going on in my mind and to have a smile on my face.

After dinner I came back and decided to go walk in the rain with Saf. She had a bug up her butt and was bouncing around, and walking in the rain has, historically, been very therapeutic, so off we went. 45 minutes later and I had some thoughts filtered out through my mind.

1). It's become clear to me in recent weeks where I feel I went wrong with my ex so many years ago, what led to where things went. I don't like looking those reasons in the face, but I'll own them because I know that I need to keep them close if I want a chance with someone else.

2). With more recent events... there is only two reasons why the things that are being said and done are occurring. Either...

He has not truly experienced love. Sure, they claim to have been in love with someone who broke their heart, but if you know what that level of love and heartache can be, you would never knowingly subject someone else to it. Perhaps they simply do not know better.

I don't know how much water this theory holds. Yes, I think at this stage this person is only capable of loving themselves and their child. I think it's further evidenced by the fact that he would choose actions that look like he cares about a current girlfriend (even though after they started dating he was still hitting on me) and then revert into baiting me again while they remain together. Regardless, I do think on some sick level they loved the person they cheated on a spouse with. How that leaves me thinking that they probably cheated on that person as well is just a little beyond all logic, but it's my gut and I've been learning to trust its instincts.

...or...

He hates me. I did something I don't know I did during the course of nearly four years of on and off to bring this hatred upon myself. He feels like he was wronged somewhere along the way and they want to somehow get even for their pain they felt.

If this is the case, all I can say is I truly don't know what I did. From my vantage point I was the one who was chewed up and spit out repeatedly. I wanted nothing more than for him to want me the way I wanted him. When his affection turned away and returned I guess my idiot heart wanted to think that there was a deep draw there, or a realization that I really was a better option than they initially realized.

Did I "strong arm" him, keeping him at a distance (his phrasing)? You bet I did. After the first time I was squashed I didn't want to put my heart back in the vice. I didn't dare press for more as I knew where I stood, even if I couldn't stand up for myself and say I deserved better. I didn't press for more time, to hear their voice on the phone more often, for any expression of affection. Maybe if I had pressed and risk that denial I could have ran the other way long ago, maybe I wouldn't still be so hurt.

It eats at me. I was doing so well since I did force the issue and made him say it would be "best if we didn't speak". That lasted for what... 4 1/2 - 5 months? So why did he decide to rise from the dead to haunt me once again?

I had to flip the breaker to kick on the air today as it was pretty darn warm out there. I made my run to Fritz's for fruit and through Ollies looking for more chopped garlic in a jar (no dice). The dishes are washed and away, the carpet is vacuumed and the kitchen floor is scrubbed. To make my world seem more in line my lawn care was tended to today too.

Some things got done, I didn't go walking since it was so warm (piss poor excuse, I know) and I sit here on a Saturday night alone, again. Alone isn't ideal, but it beats the pseudo-dates I've had in the past. You know, never mind with dinner or romance, let's just hang out, but not at a respectable hour. It's just as bad as being invited out on a lunch date. I do keep reminding myself to be glad that is a thing of the past and I hope there is someone out there that will see me for the catch I am, be willing to be seen with me, and treat me well. Hurry up buddy.

Oh! Forgot to mention that my fence was (at long last) repaired yesterday. So, there is no longer a big nasty looking bend where that one tree fell. Where another pine tree has grown significantly since 1999, when the fence was put in, some of the fencing was trimmed away so it isn't bending and popping off of the posts. YAY!

It's Saturday morning, I'm already showered... now what. I have desires to go out shopping, but for what? I don't need anything and frankly, since I've cut back it's nice to see more money sitting in my checking account, I'd like to continue that. I should be cleaning, but it all seems futile sometimes. Dust this... no one but me sees it and then it needs dusted again in just a few short days.

I followed my new cooking ventures last night, so I don't even have that to do. With some of the goodies from my porch garden and some from my farm box I tried:
- Eggplant fritters: meh. They were a bit bitter. I think it's due to the baking soda they called for, but it was in the recipe, so... either way, wasn't impressed.
- Stuffed peppers: were pretty darn good. The yellow peppers from my plants went into something yummy and they didn't upset my stomach too much as a pile of green peppers probably would have. I'll accept this as a viable method to get ricotta cheese to my mouth since pasta needs to be an infrequent occurrence.
- Apple slaw: I had a coleslaw made with apples at a restaurant in MD with Rex a few months ago and it was so yummy. I'm completely at a loss when it comes to cooking with cabbage, so I hunted this recipe down and gave it a try. While I could still SMELL cabbage, which is not a favorite of mine, it was still pretty good, but not as good as the stuff from Union Jack's.

Since I left work a bit early yesterday due to having some hours built up the cooking was done early enough for me to head out to a movie. Since I really hate that they charge you extra for 3D movies, which rarely have anything that look 3D and force me to wear glasses, which I hate to do, I didn't hit the movie I think I would have enjoyed more. Instead I went to "Don't be afraid of the dark". I should know better than to go to remakes. It was watchable, but frankly not that great. The house was gorgeous, I'd love to have the tree/leaf windows and doors, but that's about that most appealing part. The little girl's acting was pretty bad, especially when she was being attacked. I don't quite get how they didn't kill her when they "had her" a couple of times there. I also get irritated with a movie when the people do not respond in a realistic manner to what is happening. Guess what, if I KNOW there are little fairy-troll things in my house, I'm gone yo. You also can't keep saying "every penny I have is in this house" and be driving around in a BMW. No believing you.

It's pretty sad that my life is so boring that I can't stand needing to go to work, but frankly, it's the most happening thing I've got going on and I've "spent" all of my ideas last night between the food and the movie.

With the ongoing challenges at work (I'll leave it at that) I know I shouldn't complain, but I feel less than awesome about my current alignment there. I'm a bit bored, struggling to figure out how to contribute with the current state of things, and struggling to wrap my mind around things. One more day and I get a long weekend, I just need to focus on that right now.

I've been good, walking each night since Monday, but no where near the hour I put in then. Hell, my legs, up by my hips, are still sore from Monday. Funny how different it is walking outside than on a treadmill. I figure I should take advantage of what's left of the nice weather. I did, after all, see a maple tree turning red on my walk with Saffy this evening.