30 Days of Night. First, no, no Beff, I don't think this was one for you - a single scene put the small hand on the door in our one book to shame. The movie's ending was, in my opinion, rather disappointing. Spoiler! So where do they go from there. Surely the real vampires didn't sit around and watch the damn sun rise. There was nothing there that would help anyone survive the next time the sun went down in the frigid north. I also take offense at all of the vamp movies that have the female vampires making awful squeally noises. I can even ignore the fact that they killed off all the sibe doggies right at the beginning for the sake of a horror film. I enjoyed the flick, don't get me wrong, I am all for any vampire flick... but would I hurry to buy the DVD and add it to my collection - alas, no.

Time for me to fall asleep pondering the heavy pregnant pause before my car was departed. The repeat of the Paulie conversation ensued.

I wish the weekend felt longer, but here I am again ... setting my alarm to get up too damn early tomorrow. Since my last post, mother got her xray done, but nothing back on it yet - not sure if she'll hear anything on it until she goes to the doctor later this week. If it was so urgent to HAVE the xray, don't you think feedback would be given the same priority?

Saturday I did cover a few hours that I missed on Friday with my migraine before heading to the game. Since it was an early one I gave in and headed to the Haven to hang out and laugh with a unique mix of folks. The one lesson from the evening (not realized until today after hearing about what we missed after we left) is that sometimes what I measure to be a good friend is not an equal measurement to everyone else. There are some things I would expect of my friends, and I can't believe that anyone wouldn't assume the same BASIC things as friends to other people. Friend is suppose to mean you care... it means you help protect those people. I'm just glad to hear everyone is okay.

Today I was up with enough time to clean up enough dust to make my dish for the welcome back party and to get some laundry done and a few other tasks. The party was nice enough... the welcome back party is always rather short.

So 30 Days of Night has been out for over a week and Saw IV is out and I haven't gotten out to see either just yet. I wonder if I'll get my ass to the theatre once much less twice before they're both gone and I have to wait for things to come out on video. I miss the days when I seemed to catch everything at the theatre. It was so nice to have steady accompaniment - someone that was always there - even if (in hindsight) he never really wanted to be there.

From the one that was to the one that will never be... As for my earlier comments, you know I am right, "9". In many ways. Get out of that head. And for the would-be, could-be, should-be... I think I'm wasting my time. I know you have no interest in what I want.

The sore jaw became yet another migraine, which had me down in bed all day today. Two in one week. Whee. This one took two doses of Axert to knock it out and now that I know my prescription coverage will only give me eight pills each refill that is a bit of a scary proposition if I keep getting these.

The one non-automated telephone call today came from my aunt, who was letting me know that my mother was feeling worse and using her oxygen all day. She was having difficulties breathing even taking a few steps. She is now on prednasone and antibiotics. The most frustrating thing is being coughy and sick myself - too much so that I don't want to risk going there and giving her anything if this is, in fact, more than just sinuses creating other problems.

It would have been very wise to get to bed early this evening, but it just didn't happen. Another trip to the chiropractor has the other side of my jaw achy already. *frown* I did sell off a jersey which shipped out and exchanged something that was mismatched on sizes. I also (finally) got my work laptop to connect to VPN properly from home and got in a bit of additional time so I won't be losing eight hours off of my vaca this week. Finally this evening I also attempted additional Christmas shopping - but I'm just not in the spirit of things.

I'm so out of the spirit I keep saying NO and putting off even talking about pumpkins. I know I should gladly make at least the one, but I just don't wanna. The house really needs cleaned right now too - there is a nice coating of dust throughout. At least I'm to the painting stage. I wonder how long I'll sit and not paint due to running here and there and being distracted.

It really amazes me how much other people's emotions and feelings can drag me to the same direction. Is that part of the issue this week? As Dr. Horne said tonight - "two months til Christmas!" Gee, thanks for that.

Some of my grumpiness lifted this morning thanks to half of the crud in my head draining out. I do have to wonder if the trip to the chiropractor didn't pop it out. Does that sound odd? My neck is sore this morning and the jaw pain is back however, is that the "first step" into getting back into alignment? I go back again later this week.

Some misunderstandings that my brain blew out of the water were cleared up last night as well. I really wish for the few days that my hormones go completely wacko I could lock myself in a room and not interact with anyone else. The annoying part is KNOWING your being wacky and not being able to keep yourself in check. To those I care about, forgive me for being nutty... just ignore the crazy talk and give me a freakin Roche-hug.

I'm so tired of asking questions - and never getting answers. Do I not exist? -Or only when it is convenient?

When hockey season starts, it starts at 100mph. Friday I got to head out of work a bit early and get on the road to pburgh with "87" to see the Canes take on the Pens. I was very pleased with my version of cheap seats - third row, two seats away from the Canes entry. This has to have been one of the better NHL games I've been to. Constant motion back and forth, went through overtime and into the shootout, and the first 5 shoot out attempts were made - no pressure Whitney! Unfortunately, all said and done the Canes lost by that one attempt. Either way it was a good time, and nice to chill a bit, escape from work, and talk a little more - even if some conversations leave me wondering.

This morning I slept in a bit and then updated the website. Mid-day I got the call from Casey that he and Vanessa's baby boy has arrived. Congrats to them and welcome to Dylan Andrew!

From there it was time to get ready for dinner with Beff and another Chiefs game - this time against Reading and another loss. The Chiefs started out looking pretty good but things shifted and tending went downhill taking us from being ahead to a deficit.

Late this evening I quickly realized how abnormal some things are. If you wanted to call someone and the number you had ended up (hopefully) wrong what would that leave you thinking? Would you just think "that's odd", think the worst that you were given a bad number, or would you just quickly realize that it's your own fault for never pressing the use of the dated mode of communication that the telephone is?

"9"... How you drive me insane. Admittedly, if you hadn't gotten in "my line", I wouldn't have gotten in yours. How I do adore that radiating smile - funny it doesn't come out too often, at least not when she is around.

The Chiefs lost... hopefully the Canes can come out on top tomorrow night.

I made my first ever appointment for the chiropractor next week, and it turns out not a moment too soon. I've had a sore jaw for about two weeks at this point, my neck muscles are acting up again (off and on issue since high school), and now this morning I managed to bounce down the basement stairs on my ass. Luckily I had my hands on the railing, so I kept my head from connecting, but I am sure I have a lovely bruise forming on my left cheek.

On a bright note, the living room is well underway at the moment.

Fear the day that Beff wakes ME up with a telephone call. Sure, it was 11am, but that is beside the point. So I roll out of bed and hit lunch w/ Beff, Slips, and Mork, then head on a procurement run, my Durango getting a bit of love'n, and a quick run to my beloved Ollies and Big Lots. By then it was already 5! Where do my days go?

The key part here is during my last scavenge I decided to test Danika out a bit by leaving her upstairs and putting Vix in the basement. Ok, sure she didn't completely trash the place, but she was standing on the dining room table when I came in. YES... table. She knocked a few things off (since it's jammed with things moved out of the living room) and ripped up a pack of gum, but other than that she did okay.

Still not sure how to squeeze everything into my weekends. I so need to get some things graded. For now - sleep - precious sleep.

Chiefs kicked some Youngstown tail last evening - woohoo! Very scrappy game too, a nice little kick off to the pre-season. A few cuts today (including a returning player that scored in Wednesday's game) and a few pushed down from Erie. I'm sure this is a stressful week for the guys... it would send me over the edge.

I guess it's been rather stressful for a lot of people around me lately, so it isn't just me. Is it just this time of year with the days getting shorter and the nastier weather?

How about them Canes? Sure it came at the detriment of the Leafs, but Carolina was on a roll last night - 7 to 1. Let me tell you how nice that turned out on my fantasy league! Hopefully the Chiefs can step off to a stellar start this evening against the Steelhounds. It definitely is a pleasure to have a team from a different league coming to town. Further, I need the distration - my mind is in 100 different places. I am really hoping hockey will tame the beast inside my brain.

I don't want to see her (v1), I don't want to hear about her (v2), and I don't want her to exist (v3, v4, ...). You can make fun of me for admiting to enjoy her tunes 72, but it's true... Avril was right when she said "you wrote I wish you were 'her', you left out the 'e', you left without me". Too many things are written and said in ambiguous ways and can send your mind down destructive paths (at least if you're a girl). I'll just distract myself with other Avril lyrics all night and giggle to mask my disappointment: "She's like so whatever. You could do so much better.", "I don't like your girlfriend. I think you need a new one.", and "She's so stupid - what the hell were you thinking?!"

Childish? Perhaps... but any woman who denies thinking like this from time to time is lying.

I'm just feeling moody. I guess there are a few things weighing on my mind lately and none of those things in and of themselves are enough to stress me out but the combination of them is - at least enough to make me want to throw a tantrum. To put off the tantrum I said "no" this morning and called off from work. I slept in a little, watched another practice, made my home depot run, napped, went to my dentist appointment, and attempted to start pulling things together in the living room. Seems like alot, but I assure you very little was accomplished - much to my disappointment in myself (aside from blowing my diet today).

I won't beat myself up for blowing the diet as I got to spend a little quality time w/ Beff and Rex in the process. If I hadn't been bad earlier in the day it wouldn't have been an issue, so it's my own fault.

Some folks don't realize the mistake they're making by being distant and quiet right now. Then again, maybe they don't consider it a mistake. I wish I could figure that out. Others finally manage to appease me and put a smile on my face with a simple word and gesture - but all that does is build doubt, desire, and confusion.

If I can't figure out my world I'll immerse myself in someone elses... so I will be doing more reading than I have been recently. I guess I'll need to keep my nose from digging too far into the book - there are things to be graded and text to type up for my class in the near term too.

Camp, camp, first date, and more camp. Ok, so Friday night was the first camp practice of the season. Damn but does it feel good to be back at the arena seeing the jerseys whiz by, smelling the hockey stink, and hearing the click of the puck off of the goal posts.

Despite (willingly) staying up a bit late Friday night I was up bright and shiney for the morning practice on Saturday and then early afternoon I headed to the South Side Saloon to meet "5". From there - back to camp once again - the last I'll hit before the pre-season game.

5 was a nice enough guy, just not really my type. Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing does it uncomplicate things in any way or just add to the confusion and questions in other areas? 87 continues to puzzle with the forward and backward dance and desire to be around periodically but of course (since I'm a silly girl) I itch to hag out more often than he appears to want.

Sunday up early again to head off to Grove City to shop with the gals. I didn't buy too much and did manage to snag two items for Christmas gifts and a wedding gift for another individual. In the course of the day, despite trying to behave somewhat, I had two damn good meals - the first at Elephant and Castle a yummy turkey, lettuce, cucumber sammie w/ a cranberry mayo *yum* - the second at Garfield's at some little mall in the Butler area where I had a honey bbq chicken breast that came with a wonderfully topped salad and was still on their diet menu! Good stuff - I'm still leary to count up the calories for the day. At least I did a lot of walking.

Go Bates! He put me in the lead in this week's fantasy hockey matchup for PIM with this little act. Bleed Redden, bleed.

Tonight I made a grocery store run with an attempt to get healthier and lower calorie foods. I am back on the wagon and doing well so far. I need to get more time in my days however so I can get on the elliptical or walk the dogs, but at least I started somewhere and my mind is in the place it needs to be to make a change again.

Didn't get into the living room to work today, but I did get this week's materials dealt with for my class, and handled 4 more telephone calls. Last night my phone was blowing up too. What gives?! At work I keep getting IM after IM to the point of driving me a bit beyond the edge so I'm itching for a bit of silence. Perhaps I'll spend an evening out for dinner with a book to treat myself on my "day off" that I will allow myself from my pseudo-diet.

Anyhow, one call had my sister telling me that mother was sick again recently. Why doesn't SHE tell me these things? I just talked to her yesterday. Turns out they decided to put her on oxygen and now they're waiting for her information to get to a new doctor since her old one left the area. She's been on blood pressure medication for a little while now. Clearly the symptoms she's mentioned could be related. Long story short she is not getting enough oxygen in her blood when she walks up stairs and the like. *sigh* Mum isn't getting any younger, that's for sure.

Another call brought another male option number into the spectrum. I've been awaiting a call from "5" for a few days. So named for "pleading the fifth" which relates to him in a round-about way. It's a bit of a fix up as a friend's sister decided this could be a good match. Since that kind of thing NEVER happens to me (and I have bitched that some friends constantly had people offering to fix them up with someone) I figured the least I can do is talk to the guy, right? Perhaps we'll catch up at some point and get to know each other a little more.

One thing I've neglected to mentioned is that I felt froggy the other day and bought a bright red Roomba! I am eager to see how well it works. The reviews with regard to dog hair look promising, I guess we'll see. I was so excited that I actually dreamt about the thing the night I ordered it!

With that it's already near 10pm!

At last I've ripped down the insulation from the ceiling and can get a clear view of above. Now to try and come up with a game plan to prevent future water-related issues and get the new insulation up.

This fine evening also turned out to be rather educational time-line wise. Some of it comforting ... some of it disappointing in a way. I could really use a drink, too bad it would put me WAY over my calorie limit for today.

Back to the root of the matter once again. HOCKEY: I have pocket schedules so come one come all. Helped with their commercial last evening. God I hope I don't look like a complete doof if my image makes the screen.

DOGS: I am so proud of D! When Vix and I headed towards the door this morning as I was leaving for work she followed Vix right down the stairs! She definitely is learning what is expected of her and getting into the routine. She hasn't had as many accidents during the day either.

CAKE: I'm darn near giving it up... again. It's time to get serious and take a few pounds off. The jeans are too tight, the ass is too flabby. So, if I'm out to eat with you, encourage me to get something less awful for myself and hold me to only putting one sugar in my iced tea instead of my normal 3!