I slept decently last night. I've been sleeping, and I knew it wasn't super well, but after zonking out (assume the direct correlation to the all clear yesterday) it's apparent to me how poorly I was sleeping. I'm a big Freddy Krueger fan, you really should know this about me if you know me. I love his sarcasm the most, but that's not my point. I realized that I've been battling something that can be likened to him. He came disturbing my sleep and invading my dreams. When I woke he wasn't really there, but the threat was still sooo real.

The worst part is over now, right? There are still challenges ahead, I just need to power through them. I appreciate everyone's support and prayers lately. I don't know where I'd be without it!

The all clear has been given - another spray for good measure and another re-inspection of my side for sanity's sake.  I should be ecstatic. Instead I'm anxious and fretting over other things related to the situation there that remain unresolved.

I created the must re-clean/do list to get things ready to relist.  It isn't as long of a list as it was in the past, but it still feels daunting for a quick turn around.  Thanks to the birds half of the windows need re-washed, I really should pressure wash the siding where it's grungy looking and to clean the bird poo off of the front porch.  The worst part is the thought of going in to clean the bathroom in the apartment.  SOOOO ready to not deal with being a landlord ever, ever, ever again.

I think I'm pms-ing too.  I saw something on a friend's fb feed that made me sad and jealous.  I'm trying to not be a train wreck.  Like I said, I should be REALLY happy today, right?

I forced myself to be brave.  Things have started to get cleared from the apartment kitchen.  That's all I have to say about that.

It was determined both that Saturday counted as the third treatment, and that the second guy prb didn't treat everything properly.  Needless to say, I will be making a call tomorrow to try and get additional treatments on account for the issues raised as I learned more from this technician, and if not to press to have follow ups every 10 days for my 30 day warranty.  There was nothing to be found and I was reassured that hauling everything out was a good move.  I encouraged him to hose the place down and headed out.  The girls were already at the kennel to ensure their safety.

I had a 3pm appointment at a builder out on 22, but left the house before noon.  I had planned on driving further to a Starbucks to sit and waste time, but when I got just a little ways past I spotted another builder I was looking at that I didn't realize had an office up that way as well.  So, I stopped in without an appointment to see their models and talk with their sales staff.  After I pressed on to the Starbucks, sitting only for a half an hour, before returning to the first builder's location.

We did a quick calculation at the place I had an appointment - the pipedream so to speak.  We're talking $250k before you get the land, cover the utility hookups, and tend to the other items (landscaping/fence/driveway...).  Yeah, prb not.  I could strip way back but I still think that is a lot of cash for what feels like such an unknown.  It also takes long enough to build that I don't know if that is an option or my desire right now.

Today I tried to get back into being productive around the house.  It's pretty warm, but I still pulled out the paint after church and scraped/touched up the concrete block outside and some of the walls in the main part of the basement.  It's something that should help, right?  I'm probably going to need to reclean top to bottom.  At least stuff is out of the way as to make that an easier thing to accomplish when the time comes.

Also today my Favorite Egg tells me he got "tick bombed" behind his house.  Ugh.  What is up with all of the bug plagues this summer?  This needs to stop.

More disheartening discoveries while emptying the furniture out of the apartment this morning.  As you can imagine, after two treatments, we've not made the progress to the point I would have expected (or wanted).  On a bright note the furniture IS gone, so it should have eliminated some of the issue and will make it easier to execute treatment #3, which has been moved up to THIS Saturday.  This means I had to move my other Saturday appointment.  It also means I am NOT going in there to inventory the things that remain (in the kitchen).  Regardless, still trying to keep my chin up and still praying the fears away.

Ew.  Today I had to pull out the shovel to scoop a dead squirrel into a bag from beside my front porch stairs.  It really makes me wonder/worry about the chemicals that pest places use.  It makes me even more concerned that one might keel over in my backyard, where a fuzzy I love very much could grab and chew.

Today I scheduled an appointment for the weekend to talk to a builder.  I dunno if it's really in my desired price range, but I'll at least go see what the other expenses all tally to before I cave and recognize I'm going to have to settle.  The last thing I want to do is bury myself under a mortgage.

I got through my Monday afternoon unscathed, which calmed me down a good bit... but it doesn't cure the sadness for the folks who have been 'there' longer than me who walked out the door.  It doesn't leave me in a comfy cozy state for the long term either.  I really need everything else to come together so I am in a better place (literally) when I am voted off of the island.  I have a major breakout case of eczema right now thanks to all of this.

I have things lined up to tend to the larger furniture in the apartment later this week, that's one thing that will be off of the list quickly, thank goodness.  I washed down the metal posts and walls that I plan on repainting in the basement and scraped the loose paint on the concrete block outside this evening.  But still I sit here a little on edge feeling like there is so much I need to do - again with a deadline.  I don't really have the deadline yet, but I'm hoping the all clear will come right at the beginning of July.

Super. The axe is swinging again today. That will not be helping my nerves.

So anxious. Stomach in throat. I just want this all behind me.

My reasons for suspicions were not unfounded on Friday.  The treatment did take place successfully even though my Favorite Egg had to leave for the wedding before the folks arrived.  I won't go into things here, but I am hopeful that the worst fears coming true I saw on Friday into Saturday morning may get resolved tomorrow.  I'm continuing to praying for favor - He can do all things, as can I - through the strength he gives me.  Now, my brain can go ahead and settle down, thank you very much.

The big day for my Beff was just perfect.  The weather was nice, it was a good time, all executed smoothly despite the hiccups that show up to throw you off in the days leading up - just perfect.  Of course, I couldn't take photos so I'll be waiting to see the professional ones.  The only drawback is that this weekend seemed to really fly, and I feel like my visit with my Favorite Egg was but a few moments.

It is nearly here - my Beff's big day! Wednesday some of us gals from the wedding party went for pedicures. I was long over due, and the gal I had did a great job of carving away at my dry heels. From there Beff and I shared a private dinner over sushi. Last night we gathered things and went to the reception hall to decorate and then I had dinner w/ her new fam at Chili's. Today is the rehearsal!

I'm grateful to have my Favorite Egg coming in, as he can help ensure that some other activities take place tomorrow successfully, even if there is lack of cooperation from other sources. It's been a long and stressful week for me what with the activities related to the house. This stress has given me the start of a lovely eczema rash at my right wrist and the right side of my face. Hopefully it will behave as to not be a feature in the wedding photos.

Another weekend gone too fast.  I'm home again though.  That is, after running to Altoona for my Uncle's 90th birthday party and then stopping at another Aunt and Uncle's for a visit, since I was in the neighborhood.  I got down there a little early, so I drove past Mum's house.  My sister put the idea in my head.  I was surprised to see the neighboring house has had some remodeling done to the exterior and is back on the market.  As for Mum's place, all I can say is they have learned quickly how much things grow up around the yard/front.  Mum would be twitching at how much it's grown.  But I know it could have just sprung up recently thanks to all of the rain.

That wasn't easy.  I feel mean.  I know though that this is what needs to happen for my own mental well being.  One big step/commitment taken.

I've been taking advantage of not needing to keep the house pristine every day (I'll have plenty of that soon enough again).  I'm not bragging about it, that's a bad thing, but it's a fact.  I did at least vacuum before bed last night.

While my Favorite Egg is off enjoying one of the big home remodeling supplies auctions I am here for the weekend so I can attend a couple of parties that I was invited to.  First up is a graduation party, and then a 90th birthday party for my remaining uncle on my father's side.  Because everything happens all at once I am not going to make it to the work picnic today, which I've had mixed feelings about in recent years, it just isn't the same w/o friends there.  Yes, yes I still have friends there, but they have kids.

It seems like the kid thing has been a big focus lately (one I could do with less of).  I was worried on Thursday night, when I headed out to attend a "bachelorette party" for Beff and the start of (and many loops back to) the discussions were all about kids, but eventually the conversation became something I could participate in.

I'm moved into my new cube at work.  I think if they listed this as you would normal real estate the word "cozy" would be there.  I am at least not smacking my chair off of the keyboard trays, so it's better than what I expected, but tight enough that my mouse tray for the left computer had to go on the left.  Since I spent time left-mousing a few years back when my shoulder was giving me issues it is fairly easy to transition back, unless of course you are then using a VM on that machine, which requires you to click as through right-moused.  I also realized how used to eating while I clicked about I am (I half continental in my eating habits and I think I'd stab myself if I tried to use my right hand for a fork).  I can also say at least I have full height cube walls again, which is mandatory to block out the lights that are every third square in this area.

I had just returned to my desk after eating my lunch and a decently sized spider came walking along in front of me on the desk.  Panicked I threw the chair backwards, jumped up shrieking, and probably let out an expletive.  I did grab a napkin and tried to squish it as it climbed up onto my computer, but when I moved the paper there was nothing to be found.

I leave it to you to decide if I was seeing things or if I rightfully spent the afternoon freaked out that there was a spider silently stalking me from a crevice in my cube.

Today I was up early to go to church so I was able to make it to Miss Ella's birthday party.  It was raining pretty hard earlier in the day, but cleared up as I was heading back to Johnstown.  I made a stop for groceries and gathered the girls back from the kennel.

Both yesterday and today felt super long, but at the same time I don't feel like I had a long enough weekend.  I should be doing more to keep up on the cleaning, but I really have lost motivation with all that is going on.  I'm fighting any funk that may be trying to settle in.  I need something big to focus on like vacation planning, house hunting, something that requires some hunting and conquest - but vacation is pretty far off right now and there isn't much house to hunt, especially with this recently imposed delay on action.

I do still get to "move" this week though.  I'll be getting a new cube.  I'm loosing space which is going to make it a challenge to fit/function comfortably.  I'm hoping they'll figure out another solution - because the other planned shifts won't be happening for a while.

It's early... and I think after I finish this post I am going to get a bath and go to bed!  I was up this morning to take the girls to the kennel so they were away from the house for us to then start the first in the series of treatments to deal with the issue that has come up in the apartment.  Needless to say, that happened next.  Even though my side is not getting treated I behaved like it was - and opted to stay away for the afternoon.  The say 4 hours, 6 if it's wet and humid.  It's been damp and rainy, so I made it a day.

When I left, I grabbed an early lunch and met Beff for her dry run hair styling!  Then I went to Starbucks to read and grab some coffee.  Beff then told me to come her way, so I visited for a little while, did some running with her, and then headed straight down town to Polka Fest to catch Alex Meixner and delightful grub.  Meixner had a second set at 9, but I was too busy to hang out much longer.  While the pirogi and haluski were delightful, I'm sorry to report they didn't have a vendor with funnel cake this year.  *sigh*

I just want to post another praise (that's where I need to focus) - thank the Lord for answered prayers for a friend's employment.  It's good to see things coming together.

I know you may still partially be in the dark on things, but I do want to note that a double-check by a contractor has confirmed that my side of the property remains safe and sound. I continue to struggle with picking up worries associated with all of this. Trusting God isn't a one time thing. I'm only human. I know I cannot do things in my own nature, but yet I keep trying to handle things myself. The next month will be very important and I know it is going to cause a lot of growth in me. I'll apologize now for droning on repeatedly and for my sad or fearful moments.