I wanted to post yesterday, but the remainder of my day 'off' after getting back into town was packed. I was up just after 4am to catch my flight back from Milwaukee – and driving back from the burgh after 9am. Back into town just after 11 and then a few stops on the way to having lunch with Beff, then down the hill for the Durango to get inspected.

Another $400 inspection on this vehicle now. Thanks for using that new, wonderful, spray crap on the roads in the winter PA – it only ATE my brakes and rotors. *grumble growl* I tried to wait for the vehicle and fell asleep there in their waiting area, but alas they needed to drop me off due to the challenge they were having getting the old brakes off of the vehicle. Guess what that means? I got to pick the girls up in the Tib. Three very fuzzy butts shedding like mad. Drake will never be the same.

I did get my new catalogs and some sample items ordered last night, but I still went to bed early. I guess I should give you the full spill on the 2011 lia sophia conference. It was, again, a nice few days spent with the ladies. I had the pleasure of getting to know two more fellow advisors better while sharing a room.

I had been rocking my diet until this trip. On the flight I successfully turned down the stewardess' offer of pretzels or a cookie, but when I checked in they handed me a cookie – a WARM cookie. I made it to the room fully intent on handing it over to someone else, but they had already stepped out. It was me and the cookie, and I'll confess, the cookie did not survive. I still stuck to some things well, like snagging some fresh fruit for my breakfasts (since it wasn't included at the hotel) and did good at our first day's luncheon… but when it came to the first evening party the cake was not going to be passed up. For the Tuesday night shindig I had decided I was going to be bad – but the world thwarted me as I didn't see a single dessert go by. I did however have a couple of drinks, so that was bad enough, I'd say.

As to the new line of jewelry coming, it's going to turn some heads. The catalog has a new breath of life in it and the designs are a shift from what you've seen in the past. As always they treated us very well with 3 free pieces, including one made JUST for us advisors. I'm also pleased to report they'll be letting us sell from the new catalog in the middle of July, which means BEST PRICING OF THE YEAR! So, if anyone is geared up for the goodies, contact me ASAP so I can help you get them free. I've also got a mid-July open house in the works. Contact me to learn more.

I returned my sister and niecey-poo to the airport yesterday. Weather was good for the drive, so it wasn't awful. I got a little break after dropping them off and enjoyed a hella good crab cake with Rex at Union Jack's. Nom! I had to switch out the potatoes, and nothing really screamed, so I ordered the apple slaw. Ok, I'm not much of a cole slaw person, but it was really frickin good too! Got home tired as could be, so I slept mighty well last night.

Today, back to another long work day. I had an offer there that just adds to my stress. When you're looking at a finite amount of tasking you don't want to say no to anything, but I'm just not much for being on the road... I just want to be at home with my girls. So, I dunno what to do there. Like I needed another decision that I want someone else to make for me, right?

After work I picked up more drugs for Vixie. Two meds a day now to try and put the thyroid levels somewhere they should be and, moreso, hopefully put the mood in a better place. I also snagged this week's dose of fresh veggies from the CSA (again, thank you Laws for making me aware of this option). Dinner is already made and in my belly, so the snap peas are gone gone gone! One thing is for sure, I remember why I would rather get those nice sterile looking heads of lettuce. Seriously don't like the dirt on fresh lettuce. Yes, I know that's what it grows in, it just never seems to clean to my liking. Then there is the swiss chard and radishes. No clue what to do with them... is there anything other thank slicing and putting on a salad to be done with radishes?

Girl-child and I did some shopping yesterday at the mall. I guess I was warmed up, because we headed to TJ Maxx for a little more tonight. While one hand says "don't buy new clothes, you're working out, you're losing weight - you won't need that stuff soon, it won't fit" the other hand says "if you don't buy it you'll wish you had, but if you do buy it wouldn't you rather get to say EESH it doesn't fit anymore, because you did lose that weight?" With those thoughts in mind I did pick up a pair of jean shorts yesterday, clearance, so I won't feel too guilty, and two more shirts with the perfect ripple of fabric that make the girls look awesome.

We hit Rey's when we first headed up the mountain and Szechuan last night (my niece actually requests these places, which I find quite cool), so tonight we met Beff at Nyko's. It's painful to me how so very little on their menu is on my diet. I thought I was behaving by ordering the sesame coated ahi tuna and asking for the nasty seaweed salad to be replaced with veggies, but somehow I ended up with the seaweed salad AND part of a california roll. Um, not suppose to have the rice, but I couldn't not eat it, so down it went. Thanks new girl.

Awake, all of my long weekend, at 7am. So not fair. At least when I'm sleeping my mind isn't so busy beating me up. I have a theory on heartache. Much like any muscle, once you suffer a severe tear to another muscle, you can more easily tear it up again. I truly hate that weighty feeling in your chest.

Had most of a good day at the picnic. Those that were fashionably late (at least to be noticed) succeeded in chapping my ass. I was worried it would happen and it did. How do you tell someone for years that you don't want to effect your kid and then change your tune in months with someone else. Yea, yea, I know, never really interested. THAT is what makes you an asshole.

Was a bit weak at the picnic and had a few bites of things I shouldn't have had: a sno-cone and two bites of cotton candy, but what's worse is going for ice cream after. I guess being agitated from the day and not seeing movement on the scale eroded my will.

First on the plate for my day "off" was moving more gravel. There is still a little pile left to fill in where things start to sink back in, but it is everywhere it needs to be - yay! And, I can drive the Durango, which was previously parked behind said pile of gravel. So, the Durango came out so Vixen could go to the vet for a blood draw.

Back to the house and on the road to head to Altoona for some time with my sister, niece, and mom. It took all of 20 minutes after I explained the 17 day diet to my mother for her to then offer me cake. Hello, seriously? You are the one who keeps telling me to loose weight, why would you then try to sabotage me? Oy. Anyhow, after a couple hours I had to head out for an appointment there in town, for laser hair removal on my legs.

I was pleasantly surprised at all the more it hurt - definitely doable and less than a tattoo. Since my mother likes to eat so flippin early, after the appointment we all had to head back up the mountain to come eat - Rey's was on mom's mind. Why to the Jingle to eat? Well, the niecey-poo was getting a hole put in her head and my sister needed to come up to sign for it.

It's been a long ass day, it's so nice to know I still have two more days off. Heaven knows I need to get stuff done around here inside. Just ask mom, she was doing dishes and dusting on me in a matter of minutes. *sigh*

Yesterday's weigh-in had me 6.5 lbs down total, but no movement today. I guess I can't knock it - especially since I did go out for lunch, which was a challenge, but I did choose wisely at Applebees. If you swap out the potatoes for more brocolli the dijon chicken breast is within bounds, after all.

My work out for the day turned out to be moving gravel, of which I have more to do this morning. My four tens this week allowed me today off to cross off some last minute to-dos before I get the niecey-poo, to do some visiting, and for a couple of appointments... oh and apparently to move more gravel, did I mention that? *smile* Surprisingly, I got a good bit of the frontage, minus where the tenant was parked, last night in a fairly short amount of time and I can still walk today. I wonder how I'll feel tonight or tomorrow.

BTW... gravel is about twice as much as it was a few years ago when I had to have some delivered. Prb thanks in part to a $45 delivery fee. Eesh. 6 tons ready to spread. Good times, good times.

A friend invited me on Sunday night to join a group she was pulling together to tackle the 17-day diet. I decided to jump in and give it a go. So, I started on Monday, here we are at day three and this morning I was down 3.5 lbs. Sure, most of it is prb water, but I'll take it - especially after the plateau I had hit after losing 10 lbs from hitting the treadmill every night.

Sure the first 17 days are a bit of a cut back... no booze, no sweets, no bread, no corn, no pasta, no red meat. But in addition to the immediate response from my body I can also say I've not been hungry (aside from when I didn't take anything for lunch yesterday and quickly realized nothing in the cabinet was okay save an apple and some carrots). I can also say that it encouraged me to try Kefir, which is basically like a drinkable yogurt and delish, as a means to hit my two probiotic intakes for the day. The other shift is to try and get two fruits before 2pm. As with any recommendations for health they want me to drink way more water than I can get in at this point, but I'm working on it.

Now, the second set of 17 days bounce back and forth between the phase 1 diet and a day when you can eat some red meat, beans, corn, and other items that are sliced off the top for the first 17 days.

Truly, the win here is "diet" sounds like forever. While I know it has to be a lifestyle change after I get to the weight I want, these small "bites" of harsh reality are good. Now, my only question is: how am I going to survive the work picnic and turn down the cotton candy, sno-cones, free alcohol, and other goodies?

If you don't want to hear me whine, don't read this post... ok, go to the last paragraph, I'll at least give you an update on my weekend beyond the whining.

I kind of figured the most recent waste of my time (for 3 1/2 years mind you) was going to insult me even further by somehow having a personal breakthrough on his inability to let anyone get in, and indeed he has. I doubt he'd care to read this much less actually take the action to do so, so I guess it's safe to say - yes, of course I know that you're hanging out with her family even. For multiple weekends even, which (3x more insultingly) tells me you've probably also made other introductions into your most precious and normally cut off portion of your own family.

I mean, sure, in my mind I knew I meant nothing all that time and I should have found a way to break my heart free, but I never did. Why instead can't the people who have no emotion for you just cut those tendrils way before it gets to that point? Why would you make someone feel so very unlovable and undesirable? Do you not understand how terrible the pit in the person you never cared about's stomach feels to know that you're actually throwing yourself into the next relationship - giving her a chance that you could fall for her - that it wasn't that you weren't "able" you just weren't driven to with me?

I can say this, if you decide to make it three weekends in a row and put it in my face, you'll get what you get. Maybe it makes me as much of a bitch as you are an asshole, but I think she might appreciate knowing how hard you were still trying to get away with things with me after you had already started dating her. Even if I suspect she'll learn on her own at some point that you cannot keep your pants on, would advanced warning save her the pain I was not spared?

You're a heartless, selfish, jerk... you accuse your ex of being the narcissist, but the things we hate the most in others are the mirror that reflect our least attractive qualities.

*end whining here*

Yesterday my slave labor and I got a good bit done outside. As I scraped and prepped much of the concrete block the painting followed behind me, just a little more at the back of the house to be done - but then there is the garage. Oh so much to do, always. I got up nice and early today to go get my Niece and Sister at the airport. It's always good to get to see them and spend time with them, at least.

My mind is about mush at this point ... and I know it's going to make it hard to sleep tonight. I racked over 13 hours today for work and I could have easily worked all night, but we were to have things done by "COB" so, how long can you push past that before you're just later than late?

I like testing, but by damned I am tired of the same ol' same ol' where development challenges here and there and up cutting so far into testing time that it's laughable. Ultimately we're still under the gun to meet the deadline, so we're forced to do a half-assed job. I've not gotten fingers pointed for things being missed, but if and when they are missed, then what? Even if fingers aren't pointed, I feel like shit about it.

Ok, so even if I could push that feeling of mediocrity back then I come home to get the review form from this past term. I know that it tends to be the people who were pissed that they couldn't pass in their sleep that like to fill these things out and rip you up, but by God it still irritates me when I just don't know what else I could do. You can give someone a syllabus and a schedule detailing every single reading assignment and other action needed for the whole term up front and explicit instructions on how to do something correctly and it still blows up in your face.

I'm tired, I'm frustrated, and frankly - I'm just sick of being me. I need to hide somehow. Can I PLEASE just rewind 20 years and decide to be a housewife, please?

On a routine trip to make use of the facilities today at work I realized that the handicapped bathroom stall is about the size of my cube. When I returned to my office I turned to Google and learned that the average cell in a federal prison is 6' x 8'. Coincidence? I think not.

It was good to have company last night. Of course, now here I sit this morning all "in my head" again. I'd like to relax today and just hit the treadmill as my major accomplishment, but I know if I don't dig in on something I'll be internally torturing myself all day. So what to do to go after?

Vixen is all gimpy from someone catching her leg after stuff got stirred up downstairs last night. Saf has a mark on her nose, so I suspect Vix caught Saf and then D jumped Vix. The thundershirt didn't work for us, the thyroid meds clearly aren't working. So what the hell do I do? I guess I just never let anyone come here so there isn't added anxiety to stir things up? Yea, that sounds like a fun lifetime for me.

I'm wiped. I ran out to get some fresh fruit and veggies at Fritz' and some grillin meat at Iggle. When I returned it was time to get in gear, so the kitchen and bathroom floors are cleaned, the toilet and sink are scrubbed, the carpet is vacuumed, and the dishes are dealt with. Then I headed outside to get the concrete block under the siding ready for painting.

Let's just call it several hours of fun with the pressure washer. Not only is the concrete block all around the house ready to go, but the siding out back is cleared off, and the walkway near the fence is cleared of moss and dirt. There are two spots on the siding at the right of the house that are molding, strangely enough. It is by where the furnace ventilates and near the air conditioner. I guess moisture. Regardless, it's all cleaned up.

I came back in and did some slight cleanup in the dining room and dusting, then mixed up a reese pb desert, and tossed some pumpkin bread in the oven (the timer just went off - yum!) I've still got some grillin' to do tonight. I wonder if I'll have renewed stamina to hit the treadmill again. After taking a night off the other day, my body finally shed the water or whatever that was keeping it at a certain weight, so my last weigh in was a bit lighter... I guess I shouldn't be making bread and pb desserts.

I skipped my workout for the first time in weeks... a small spontaneous reward and reprise for me with a trip to Gburg after work for some Pier One, Olive Garden, and Barnes and Noble. Tonight was a good night.

Color me lucky as hell. Yesterday I got the indicator that I could upgrade my cell phone to Android 2.1. FINALLY! After some playing and searching for answers I learned that AT&T had blocked the ability to download non-market apps... this includes the backup software that Sony Ericsson offered. None of the data I had on my computer was lost (music, photos, backgrounds) but it sure decided to drop all of my contacts. Thanks for preventing me from saving that data AT&T.

So, last night I fretted myself to sleep. Today I found my car charger for the old phone at least, and was on the way to and from work able to charge it enough to see that I didn't foolishly delete my contacts. So, this afternoon I saved my butt by pushing them back over to the newer phone. I've only lost a handful of contacts that were added in the past few months. If you know I added (or re-added) you in the past 6 months, txt me your name to make sure I still have your digits.

BTW, Android 2.1 comes with the backup software and a real calendar that does not require me to connect to Google/online.