Wednesday, June 08, 2011

My mind is about mush at this point ... and I know it's going to make it hard to sleep tonight. I racked over 13 hours today for work and I could have easily worked all night, but we were to have things done by "COB" so, how long can you push past that before you're just later than late?

I like testing, but by damned I am tired of the same ol' same ol' where development challenges here and there and up cutting so far into testing time that it's laughable. Ultimately we're still under the gun to meet the deadline, so we're forced to do a half-assed job. I've not gotten fingers pointed for things being missed, but if and when they are missed, then what? Even if fingers aren't pointed, I feel like shit about it.

Ok, so even if I could push that feeling of mediocrity back then I come home to get the review form from this past term. I know that it tends to be the people who were pissed that they couldn't pass in their sleep that like to fill these things out and rip you up, but by God it still irritates me when I just don't know what else I could do. You can give someone a syllabus and a schedule detailing every single reading assignment and other action needed for the whole term up front and explicit instructions on how to do something correctly and it still blows up in your face.

I'm tired, I'm frustrated, and frankly - I'm just sick of being me. I need to hide somehow. Can I PLEASE just rewind 20 years and decide to be a housewife, please?

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