It's funny how the end of the year has snuck up on me. (BTW, why isn't "snuck" in the dictionary on here?) I've caught up on my sleep since returning to PA, should have been at work on Thursday, but crossed wires had me at home since the to-be task master was out of the office. It's okay, I enjoyed the extra nap time. The governor keeps calling, this time through the 7th (big whoop).

In the mean time I need to get my rear in gear to get the class in order for the 10th start date, and start getting moving around the house again. So much always seems to be on the to do list. Any chance my New Years wishes (note, I said wishes - not resolutions) to get myself in gear will come true?

My day today wasn't spent in bed, thank goodness, but I can't call it productive either. At least it was fun! Beth, Slips, and I wandered the mall, Ross, and TJ Maxx. I tried to behave on my spending, but I needed to pick up some long overdue pieces that were at the jewelry store - that cost me a chunk... I did also find some plant stands that I'll need for out front. From there, Beth picked up her mum and we headed to Nyko's for a delish-dish. I'm home long before midnight, and it's just me and the girls - but we're all getting a celebratory treat. For them a rawhide roll, for me a lime tea and coconut rum. Happy New Years.

I remained quiet while away in Texas for a visit over the holidays, sorry for appearing AWOL to those not in the know. We had an excellent Christmas, Jackie was completely surprised and dumbfounded when she saw mom so major score there, and I had a very relaxing time there. I got to see my nephew's apartment and see how hellacious my niecey-poo is at backing up in the driveway, cuddled with Izzie in lieu of my fuzzy butts, and ate way too much. As always Santa was way too kind to me, but his best gift was the nice weather, which included a couple days in the upper 60's/lower 70's.

Because I'm a doof I made a happy little mistake when I booked our flight and had us come back into BWI just before 1am. We were blessed with easy travels and awesome weather for such, so the drive back went very smoothly. Stayed up for another hour and a half after getting home so I could fetch the girls and we are all tucked back in here after resting up today.

Now to get back on all the things I had cast aside. First up, calling to see if they'll come check the connection for the stove. Doh.

Frick. The stove won't light. I guess that tells you two things - one, no home cooked meal as planned and desired and two, I don't cook very often (this is the first time I tried to light it since they finished working on the kitchen a week ago). Sigh.

I've been fighting desires to nap and be lazy. I guess I'm ready for a vacation or a holiday, or some other distraction. I did get the storage containers back in the cabinet over the fridge, but haven't put the counters back in order (still). I'll get to it and take photos (eventually) I swear! For tonight though I'm just going to chill with my baby girls and enjoy some home cooked grub.

I did have some good news come my way yesterday - in an envelope. Looks like I am needed once again for teaching so major yay there. There is a new book for the same class I've taught in the past, so I'll have some prep work ahead of me, but it's doable and a welcomed resource for fundage.

It was a fairly impromptu holiday celebration, but it counts in my book. A couple of us decided a Nyko's/Sushi get together was necessary before we get to a point where we shouldn't be spending such money. In allowing it to grow I got to see Baby Davey, who I haven't seen in FOREVER, as with Casey, Vanessa, and Dylan. We also got the Shmou-fam, Phil, Jackson, and Adam out. It was a nice night. Thanks for sharing it with me everyone.

The weather is getting nasty once again. This is way too friggin early for 9 degrees and blowing heavy snow flakes. Meh. They sent the rugrats home early from school, which is obscene, but as to avoid the "when I was a kid" speech, I'll leave it at that. It's clear there won't be school tomorrow either since they haven't started to clear anything in Richland yet. They are such slackers. My tax dollars at work? I think that is all focused on putting as much snow in my driveway as possible.

I've got three big bags (over 100 pieces of clothes) in the Durango ready to go to Goodwill tomorrow. Hey look - there's room in that closet now! With that out of here, the gifts for my sister's family in a box and ready to go, the gifts for Beff and Slips cleared out (we did our christmas last night), and all of the contractor's crap out of here there seems to be some hope of the house getting in order again.

Slips, Beff, and I were to meet last night at Off the Rak. I had heard they had a fire, but had been told they opened back up just a few days later. Guess not. Instead we drove around looking for an option that wasn't pizza or fast food in Eburg and ended up at Amici's. I had eaten there once before, before it moved to the old Valley Dairy building, but I sure don't remember it being that remarkable. My grub was good and definitely a unique taste. Our Christmas was good and I think everyone was pleased with the exchange. Remarkably, no one bought junk food for anyone else. That HAS to be a milestone!

Notice: I'm trying to stay busy. This is one way to avoid the fret and irritation on my mind Distractions welcome.

As the inevitable seems to loom I think my biggest sadness is knowing that in the absence of health care the allergy shots will cease, the headaches will begin again, and my mood is going to be even gloomier.

How crappy of timing is it too that right when I'd have plenty of TIME to hit the gym my membership will be expiring? Well, at least I'll get plenty of sleep I suppose.

Ya know... I posted the other day and then got crapped on the very next day by yet someone else that I wouldn't have expected it from. I should have known what would happen, actually I know this person can't be alone it is against their very nature, but I sure did believe their comments that they'd not be rushing to date unless it was with me. I'm sorry I couldn't give my unconditional and undying love without having gotten to spend some time with you again, especially since I haven't seen you in years... but thanks for reiterating I am not worth even waiting for. Hell, in this case I wasn't even worth waiting to SEE before someone else was found. Not just found, but TO MOVE IN WITH? I'm also quite peeved that someone could be back in this state for less than a week and find someone. Perhaps warm body was the only standard.

I think you're an idiot, but not as big of an idiot as I clearly am.

Oh, and the opportunity that had come up also dried up. I believe I'm frelled.

I moved cubes today, so I can at least have my cell phone with me now during the day if anyone needs to reach me, but I've downsized and gotten lower walls. At least it's dark in that area. A small opportunity came forth, but it isn't enough to keep me completely occupied, which still spells disaster for me. I do really wonder some days what I did to deserve feeling so stuck.

The house work is almost complete. Things look much nicer, but I still sit and worry. Other friends don't appear to have a hard time eliminating the barriers that would hold them back here - they find jobs easily, they have leads on their house (before it's even on the market).

Don't take this topic wrong, I am not in the topical frame of mind by any means, but I was reflecting a bit and pondering just under 8 years ago (as I am probably going to do at this time of year no matter how old I may be). I remember popping all of the sleeping pills in the box out of their foil, the fleeting thought of taking them all while I put all but one into a plastic bag, but moreso I think I just wanted to see if he'd even notice (or care) that a whole empty sheet was in the trash. I don't know how he couldn't have seen it. It hurts to think that he probably wished I would have (if he had seen), it sure would have made his life easier, not that he appears to have had a hard time since... instead picture perfect.

I've tried to get answers from others why I'm not the one they want to be with and get nothing but silence. Someone, please, tell me why I am not the gal someone would want to love and be loved by? I truly feel like I've spent a lifetime pushed aside, even by the one who said he'd love me forever, never good enough. Too fat? Too ugly? I think I have a good personality. I know I'm not stupid. I try to be kind and a good person, supportive and encouraging, honest and not overly reactionary (like most females). What's left? I wish I could turn off the desire to find someone special. I wish I had never learned how good something like that could be.

I got the kitchen painting done, but they accomplished nothing here today, instead I believe they were off prepping the trim. Instead I sat home waiting for the HVAC guy to come... YAY! I woke up in the middle of the night hearing the furnace running, but not kicking on and blowing. Needless to say it was a rather chilly discovery. I got up and killed the heat as to avoid having anything burn out. For those not in the area, mind you we just finally got our first real snow storm with a reasonable amount of accumulation and some rather nippy temps.

When it was tinkered with in the morning still no luck... but when the guy got here it reset itself without complaint, go figure! $80. Thanks for that. At least he took the time to tell me some basics about the main furnace that might spare me the next time.

In the theme of welcoming a much slower pace for the next few weeks I took a nap after work. Sure there are still pressing needs on the to do list, like finishing Christmas cards and wrapping, but I figured I could slack for a night or two.

The weather held out until after the Christmas party last night. I know it's pretentious to some, but I love the holiday party for work. The issues that had me worked up earlier in the week didn't take place, but I am left in a state of curiosity without answers.

I did get my butt moving easier on Saturday than I did this morning, so the kitchen is fully primed... call this post a nice delay of painting progress. I did sleep in today as I was whooped, then there was another purse party, likely my last for December, and now, here I am. I don't wanna, but I know it must be done to keep the contractors on task and moving forward. Watch, it'll just decide to snow all night to the point that they don't come after I bust tail to finish the painting. Wouldn't that just figure? Meh.

I know I'm weird, but why does the smell of a fresh shower curtain liner smell so good? I know, it's just plastic, but...?

Last night I touched up the paint as necessary in the bathroom. Once the trim is done in there and I swap out the shower liner for a new one and get it rehung I can scrub up the dust and it'll be done! In the kitchen the fridge is now where it was meant to be and the drywall is mostly mudded. I suspect I'll be able to do some painting (in my copious free time) this weekend. I'm really looking forward to being able to put things back in order. Having odds and ends scattered through the living room and bedroom is making me twitch.

I swung in for my allergy shot this evening and had a gal who I knew was one of my people instantly say "is that a type o tattoo! they're like my favorite band." We then reminisced through shows past at the Crowbar, Metropol, and Palace Inn to name a few. Again Peter, your absence is so clear.