I'm a bit perturbed. It's Satuday. Do I have my DirecTV fixed? Yes, actually. They showed up fairly early yesterday and made the world right again. What was the problem? Apparently someone had changed the connections inside of the box outside. Um... wtf. Fine. So now ask me about my DSL. Yea. Rat bastages. I called them around 4:30 after sitting around all day waiting for them w/ a mere 45 seconds or so of connectivity to speak of earlier in the day.

Get this... they automatically cancelled my call because the system detected that my dsl came back up. Uh. Ok, are you as pissed off as I was? Seriously! I sat at home ALL FRIGGIN DAY. The option they give me? To wait for them on Monday too. After a bit of being bitchy (since I now have time to make up for a lost friday work day) they agreed to call me at work a half an hour before they come to the house on Monday. Either way this is a pain in the ass. I have school work needing my attention too. How exactly do people survive without reliable internet access? I feel like I can't think the second that little green light goes out. I figured I should take advantage since there is presently 4 little lights.

I'm off to lunch w/ Beff and Slips today and to take Vix for her 10th birthday trip to Petco. 10. Wow. Happy birthday to my baby.

Last night I was again without DSL all evening, but I did have a dialtone. I was so frustrated I decided I NEEDED to get something resolved and thus set out on a mission to get the DirecTV stuff working in the bedroom since I'm helpless on the verizon issue. After a trip to Walmart (which was quite productive in getting misc items I need for the whole Lia thing) I made progress (?). Well, now both receivers get SOME channels... progress in the bedroom compared to nothing, but a loss of channels in the living room.

So, once again I was on the phone w/ DirecTV and this time talked with someone helpful who waived their fee to come out to the house to help me out. So that's scheduled for Friday. Since I was on a roll and stuck home for part of the day I figured I should suck it up and call Verizon too - now they're also supposedly going to be there Friday too. We'll see how that goes eh?

I felt pretty on top of stuff yesterday as I got lots of little things together, but today I am starting to stress knowing that I am starting to fall behind on class related stuff. Fingers crossed that we don't have to create a reply for module 5 since our group did question generation for the module. That would be a life saver.

My voice is a little better but still gone for all practical purposes. Now there is a cough settling in too. Amusingly however, I feel great. I don't feel the least bit sick and I am not tired (which I normally am). What gives?

Today I find myself needing to make a ton of telephone calls and without the voice to do it. This is day two of next to no voice more of a sqwak if I try or just a whisper. Being mute did score me a marriage proposal - so that's something.

I did at least get a few doctors appointments on the book today. I need to get so many stupid time consuming things done it's rediculous. Time to become the queen of lists once again and focus on organizing and trying to squeeze things in (like starting a load of laundry before I left this morning).

We got a couple inches of snow last night, here's praying it is the last major snowfall for the season, but I doubt we'll be that lucky. I think I need to go shop for some music to keep myself entertained while I work on all of the little things. Anyone find anything cool lately that I'd like?

This feels like one of the busiest weeks I have had in a good long while. So here it is at a close. The price I've paid? My voice. I sounded a bit strained last night, but tonight I am now croaking. Hmm. I hope I am not suppose to be running the stands selling 50/50 tomorrow, that could be ugly.

My starter show party for Lia Sophia was this afternoon (Saturday). While I was a bit worried as folks were late trickling in I still think it went very well. I've got my slew of bookings to get me off the ground (thank you girls... I pray to not let you down) and have my share of orders today to get my supplies stocked up. Between last minute things last night I was up pretty late and my excitement today I was up pretty early. You'll notice the time on this post... so as you can imagine I'm pooped. Wake me before the game!

Wow, I can't imagine how far behind I'd be if I hadn't made this a four day weekend. Today was mostly spent trying to get things installed on the new laptop, fighting w/ my dsl (again), and pulling my data off of the old computer's drive (thank God for good friends.... thank God twice for good friends who work in support and have the tools and know how to save your ass).

I have two of the three items due by Thursday turned in. That sounds good, right? Well, I was hoping to be further, but I'll take it considering the mayhem of three hockey games, a kick ass fundraiser, computer issues, and all the other goodies of the past few days.

I knew she was on her last legs... I have no one to blame but myself, but damn I'm still not happy. So much for me wrapping up taxes or getting all of my soon due assignments out of the way with a laptop who's graphics card appears to have shit the bed. Just gimme my data!! F.

So I come over here and try to get some other things done that do not require materials on the old laptop and get thwarted at every turn. Even the DMV's website is giving me a middle finger and not letting me complete my registration for the Tib.

Pout. Whine. Feel bad for me damnit.

At this pace I won't see 40. I wonder how very large people manage to get to that point. I don't say that trying to criticize but to wrap my mind around it. I felt like I was going to DIE this afternoon after a short chase of Safyre (the guys doing construction left both the garage door and door from the garage to the back yard hanging open - a bad combo). Yes, I am 50% larger than I was at one point, and that disgusts me, but to physically feel like death is imminant after something so routine?

I really hate myself some days. I know what it takes to get back in shape but there just isn't enough hours in this world, not by myself that's for sure. Although, if I wasn't so completely out of shape I probably wouldn't be so tired all the time either.

Sorry, I think Valentine's day was just designed to make you hate yourself even more (if that's possible).

The tree is gone from the back yard at last. Of course now the winds have kicked back up again. The ground is also so wet that the sump pump has been running like crazy. At least things are staying dry - have I mentioned lately how blessed I've been in that department?

The construction is coming along nicely. I'd say the siding is at 85% and the porch is at 80%. It totally changes the look and the 'size' of the house from out front. I think I made a VERY wise decision and investment on this one - and heaven knows I can't wait to sit on the porch and watch the rain.

Here's a question for ya'll. If dogs eat dog food and only dog food with the occasional dog treat, how pray tell does one periodically end up with the most noxious fumes emanating from their butt? Cripe. I thought Safyre was going to leave permanent scent-stains on the comforter last night. I mean the smell WOKE me. Eesh.

Nothing else exciting to say - just trying to get inordinate amounts of reading done for my class since my group is assigned to provide questions during the same time frame that an assignment is also due.

I may hate people more often than not, but clearly I love my pets. If you're like me - and in or around Jtown... check it.

So I got a cute soft bear and pretty flowers, a home made dinner... and could have curled up all night, that's sweet right? I should be happy. I really hate the mental scars left behind and how they mess up perfectly wonderful things. So instead of curling up I came home last night and cried for a while and laid forth some very vivid imagery of my complete and utter hatred while I lamented being told days before Valentine's day of intentions. I lied a bit talking w/ a friend the other day... and I feel awful about it because I would wish someone to hell, it's the only way they'd get what I think they deserve. No, not him. I'm a mean and awful person and I'm not getting better, I'm getting worse.

I just want to love someone, and truly feel that they love me... that I am more than a warm body to fill a gap or a loneliness. Maybe that's why I am not happy like I think I should be, I am just the gap filler or filling gaps. The more I care about someone the less they truly care about me or vice versa. I want something real, but half the time I don't know if I am equipped.

Again, the only thing to get past it is to cover it, but with my telephone being completely dead dead dead right now I couldn't even get online and bury myself in school work that is awaiting completion. Gee, burying myself to hide that crap - wonder who I learned that from. I need to run away on vaca so much that I took an extra day off next weekend with no real plans or intentions. I wish I could say that I am going to work in the kitchen or get massive amounts of reorging or cleaning done, but who are we kidding?

Saturday Beff and I headed to toona so Safyre could meet her grammy and we could do some shopping. The retail therapy was nice, but does make you feel guilty. Sunday I was up early with the girls and then wiped back out until mid-afternoon. It's been a bit warmer and most of the snow has melted so we are back to a muddy back yard situation, thus meaning that the girls are wound up a bit because I won't let them run and play.

Today was a long day despite only being at work for half of it. At least the snow held off until I nearly got back to Johnstown from the viewing in Altoona. It's so odd to see some cousins and other folks that I haven't seen in an eternity.

The shitty part of it was getting chewed out by a nubby woman I didn't know after she asked what church I went to here. Sorry you don't approve of Methodist churches near perfect stranger. Oh, and the look on your face after _you_ asked if I was married and I had to sadly respond in truth that I was divorced? Don't judge me, if it were up to me I wouldn't be. Then there is the smattering of half-stories you get when people realize you aren't old enough to be aware of what happened in the family before you were born. I guess I have a few things to ask mom about next time I visit.

I was hoping to make this my first post from the new computer, since the power cords have arrived, but instead I am leaving her to her own devices as she installs Office and YIM. As ready as I was to just lay down and sleep I did vacuum tonight too. I think I'm entitled to call it an early evening.

Tonight I'm tired, I'm morose, and my throat hurts from giving Vixen a yelling at that she so deserved for being a grumpy old butt. The tired seems to go without saying anymore, but the morose comes from my uncle passing away yesterday morning (mom just called today). He had been diagnosed with bladder cancer if I gathered that correctly, and had not been well for a while. So, I am heading to the viewing tomorrow. Blah. I've been kind of anticipating this first domino falling for a while now. Peter Steele nailed it when he said in your 20s everyone is getting married and having kids and in your 30s everyone is dying.