It's been a while since I've felt some anxiety welling up.  I'm not sure what is causing it really.

Maybe it's topics that came up in the past few days stirring old pots.

Maybe it's the fence.  The fence is mostly in, with finishing work to be done tomorrow (attaching the gates, putting the tops on the posts, and securing the one end to the house... because they couldn't drop down in the ground there at the one corner due to something being down there *sigh*).  This side where they couldn't go down in is at the corner, vs further forward, which is what was originally marked during the first two measurements.  I'm trying to not fret, but seriously, with each contractor there is always something that is less than what was planned.

I tried calling another landscaper, their voicemail said it was full and I couldn't even leave a message.  What point is a fenced yard if it's all dirt and the least bit of rain means an unusable mud pit?  I just want it all done.  I'm so done.

One thing I do NOT think it is is the looming finish line, which is officially less than two months away.  But it should be.  I cannot get the things done I need to get done.  I'm up and moving for a little while but the swollen ankles hurt and frankly I'm just tired.

Hopefully this weekend will provide a little therapy, time with my Favorite Egg and time with friends is what I need.

Yesterday afternoon was a struggle... it seemed like everything I tried to tackle was NOT going right, both with work and after work.  I needed to mow out front.  We had pulled the mower back out and plugged it in the other day and it seemed ok, so I gave it a go.  I got maybe 1/3 of the way through the front yard before it went to half power and started smoking again.  Yeah, I think it's done done, sadly.

Either way, the front needed trimmed, so out came the weed eater.  Boom, out of line within 5 minutes.  Restring the line, which always takes me a couple of tries to get it right because it doesn't need done often.  Within 2 minutes the battery was dying and the second battery was sitting already dead.  Super.  When I pulled out the corded weed eater all I could think was if this stopped working too I might lose it.  My 21 year old, $25, weed eater held it down and the front lawn is much shorter, uneven, but shorter.

On other household news the fence guys came yesterday.  They weren't here super long, but at least they're back already this morning.  The girls and I are eager for the fence.  I'm still in limbo land on what to do for getting grass back there though.

This weekend my Favorite Egg and I gathered with some of his family for a picnic as an out of town family member was in.  It was nice to get together for a picnic and be able to sit outside on the deck instead of hiding inside as we normally do for get togethers (Thanksgiving/Christmas) and to see everyone.

He stayed and Sunday, despite me being so incredibly tired again, motivated me to get a few things done.  A few more pictures are up on the wall, he hung hooks on the new deck roof and hung my wind chimes, and he was moving some dirt out back in preparation for the fence (they called and are planning to come start tomorrow).

I have to say this much... I'm not used to allowing people to do "my" work for me, especially when I have to sit it out because it is simply too much for me right now.  With an ex, there was always a bit of anger directed toward me when I'd go outside to start this type of work (raking/planting/digging) because he felt obligated to then come help, pulling him away from personal entertainment activities.  Yard work beyond mowing wasn't something he seemed very willing to do and that was when it was _his_ house too.  To have someone in my life that is stepping up and saying "I'm going to go do this" at a place that isn't his responsibility means the world to me.  I'm so grateful that he is willing to do things for me, for us, for the fuzzy girls, and for our family to be.

Sunday marked the selected date we called our anniversary - happy three years with my Favorite Egg!  I had done some grocery shopping and mowed part of the yard before he came in with plans on going out for dinner and a beautiful violet in tow.

Monday he had to head back here after work as well for an appointment we had to meet someone we are hiring as a doula.  So that was another meal out.  He finished up my mowing (the areas that are a bit steeper and harder for me to do without being in pain at this point and the side that I couldn't finish before the fat rain drops started to fall on Sunday... but not without coming in and saying my mower was smoking.  I love you babe, but go figure it died when you were using it for the first time after you've told me how much you hate the corded electric mower.

Last night Lor-Lor came to visit!  So I finally got to cook up some of the groceries I bought on Sunday.  I had found a slow cooker recipe for a pork roast I wanted to try, so I modified it to do pork chops on the stove and it was delightful.  I used 1/2 a can of cranberry sauce w/ whole berries, some honey, chopped onions, and seasoning and yes yes yes!  She will be visiting for a few days and both of us working from here.  I had a bit of a scare though as last night after work my internet was out and I feared we'd be headed to Starbucks this morning, but it was back up before bedtime.

Today after some running for classes (last night and today) with my Favorite Egg, we threw together some macaroni salad and walked down the hill to attend a block party here in my new neighborhood.  I'm glad we went as I got to meet and talk to several folks that live nearby and got some handyman referrals, but it was awfully warm.

The rain that has pushed through in the past few days has been pretty heavy.  From what I can see here at a distance it's REALLY been heavy in Johnstown.  So many news stories there lately keep me thinking I got out just in time.  Sink holes in Moxham?  Flooding?  Shootings at the Scalp McDs?  Yeesh.

Just a quick update.  My sister and niece came in on the 8th for a few days as they return from checking out what will be my niece's new local and finding digs for her internship with the Binghamton Devils!

We haven't done much in the way of fun, for which I feel guilty.  My sister however has been working her tail off trying to pretty up my rocky-fill front area with a few pretty flowers and ironing baby things and curtains, for which I feel even more guilty.  But it's been nice to just visit a bit too.  The rest of their summer will be quite active so I doubt I'll be seeing either again before the kiddo arrives.

Good news here at the house as my permit for the fence has been approved.  They may get started on that this week.

My bacon game at this house is weak, and it is making me die a little inside.  I am an in the oven bacon cooker.  In the past it was put the bacon in on a cookie sheet as you turn on the oven set to 425 degrees and it would take about 20 minutes, sometimes needing more if you were doing a full pack.

Over the course of the past four months I've attempted to make bacon quite a few times, each one reducing the time in the oven and/or the temperature.  Today I am down to 375 and 15 minutes and it was even MORE burnt than the last time (which was at a higher temp).  What the hot hell magic is going on in this oven that has some vehement issue against my bacon!

One constant between the houses is that making bacon means the smoke detector goes off.  *sigh*  Of course in this house, it isn't as easy as pulling one down off of the wall, you have to get up on a stool and disconnect it ... or you get to hear it the whole way through the house.

A girl and her bacon will not be parted.  Love will find a way.

I've been trying to create a pattern of getting out on the back deck (under my lovely roof with this rain) and doing some reading as opposed to sitting in front of the tv.  I haven't been super comfortable sitting on the couch lately anyhow.  I did go sit in the lazboy one night too - still so excited to have that here.

I didn't get back to Jtown for Polkafest as I would have liked this past weekend, but it's okay.  I did at least buckle down and get a few things off of my to do list here like cleaning the inside of the car (so much dog fur) and moving the seat protector/blockade back another row.  The immediate need was before I go to pick up my sister and niece at the airport later this week, but clearly, this needed done so I can ready for a car seat too.  I don't know that I'll be able to get Saffy to not try and push past the back seat and jump through, but I gotta figure that out.

My reward on Saturday was then going out for dinner with my Favorite Egg.  He headed my way later in the day on Sunday and we feasted here once again.  Tonight I am desiring a little nap on the couch, or maybe lazboy as I didn't sleep super well last night.  The next few weeks look so packed on my calendar, so I refuse to feel guilty for indulging this desire.

A fire was lit under my butt when Lazboy called earlier this week to say my chair would be delivered later today.  The past two evenings some time was carved out to work on getting a decal up on the newly purple wall upstairs and a curtain rod installed.  That room is at about 95% now.  I just need to iron some things, get curtains, get a mattress and changing pad, and try to figure out what I want in what drawer.

Last night I went to the HOA's yearly homeowner's meeting.  I was disappointed that only 6 homes including mine were represented - and that includes 2 out of 3 board members.  Last year they had quite a few people there from the meeting minutes.