I haven't mentioned it often enough, but I am loving where I live.  The fact that there are people out walking in this neighborhood and many kids about is just awesome to me (even when you have to wait for them to get off of the road so you can pass).  I love the facebook group for the community too - people putting things up for sale from their kids pretty inexpensive and even putting things out there for free.  This morning I picked up a metal framed fisher price tricycle that someone said "free, it'll be at the end of my driveway if you want it".  Um, yes please.  Even if Avery hates it - it can always go to consignment or get donated.

We had a few pleasant days that allowed us to go for walks, but here we are again with rain.  I'm not a fan, but it still beats snow, and I'm still in my shorts trying to will the summer weather into being.

This past weekend I had my evening out to go see Matt and Kim live at Mr. Smalls Theatre in Millvale!  I had a blast.  Once I found parking (parking on street there) I walked down to Strange Roots, grabbed a sweet beer, and grabbed a bulgogi bowl from a food truck parked in their lot.  Good stuff - both the beer and the bowl!  Then I walked back to the venue (three cheers for that pleasant weather).  Matt and Kim are high energy and fun.  I've been watching their blogs and that is just who they are - and that's who they are on stage.  I love it.  More fun stuff on the horizon, I'll report back as soon as I can!

Snow is still flying.  April 19.  Sure we don't get as much here as I did back in the Jingle, but this is getting a little ridiculous.  I keep saying it has to be almost over and now I am starting to think every time I say that I am cursing us to another week of cold and depressing weather.  I need my spring boost of energy, let's make this happen mother nature.

It's amazing what a little sunshine and warm weather can do...of course, as I type this the temperatures are dropping again and I've already received the ice precip alert email.  This weekend was beautiful - 70s and 80s!  Avery and I only got one walk around the neighborhood in, but we also walked around the outlets quickly on Friday night.  She got to try on her first pair of shorts and sported her sunglasses, sunhat, and bare feet too this weekend!  The flowering trees around here are bursting forth and I've seen a ton of daffodils glowing gold.

In addition to some cleaning/routine tasks this weekend...  Saturday morning Avery cooperated enough that I got some work done in her room, moving the extra dresser out of her closet to the spare bedroom and reorganizing her closet a bit.  I even scooped up everything I could find in the back yard.  While I did take a pass a while back that lightened the load, there was still plenty to gather.

I pulled the mower out briefly earlier today to catch the patch out back that is getting too tall/thick already.  I do think some of the yard will likely need additional seeding this year, but part of it is quite lush and thick already.  I also got some new shelves organized in the basement with some of my extra canned goods and baby foods.  Finally, the safety latches are on the main cabinets, ready for when the wee one is fully mobile.  That was after church and a bit of grocery shopping.

I feel like I achieve so much this weekend.  I swear the warm weather was to "blame". One thing I always forget about though is how the nicer weather comes with sinus issues.

I've lived what - half of my anticipated life span?  I still haven't figured a ton of stuff out.  The one thing I know for sure is that no matter how much I have changed and grown through the years, I'm still me at the core and there are a lot of people out there who don't like _me_.  Wherever I go - there I am, right?  As the Lost Dog Street Band says - My body's a prison, my mind is a cell - and you can't get away from yourself.

I'm a better person/human being than I was how many years ago.  I know that.  But I still have to put on a mask and not relax or let down my guard completely.  The biggest thing I've gotten zinged on through the years by those closest to me is being negative.  Aren't we supposed to have someone close to us that we can let that stuff out too?  Are we supposed to let it all fester inside?

I carry emotional scars that I try to not allow to reopen, but sometimes they do.  Whether it's the memory of the first person who carved me up when I was younger or the emails that I should probably delete (even though I can remember the words clearly) from my biggest crushing blow.  It's even the people who barely knew me when I was in the depths of that crushing blow but kept their distance because I simply wasn't "well enough" for them.

I guess it's a good time to say thank you again to the people who are always there for me, and to remind myself that I do have people I can truly call friends - that care and don't mind when I'm down, need to complain, or feel like a failure.  I'm reminded too of one of those great friends, Christine, who will be gone for a year already next month, the person who was there - physically - within minutes at all hours when I struggled to heal from the crushing blow.  I miss you friend.

I look at my sweet little girl and she's so happy.  Please Lord, don't allow anyone to reach in and change who she is at the very core with hateful words or actions.  May she always be so sweet and happy.  Don't be like me.