Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Sometimes I get so angry at God. Some of you will think just saying this is blasphemy, but I also point out how often one can be angry at the humans we claim to love. I just want to know why if I am suppose to be single he didn't give me the know how and/or the strength to fix the things that need tended to in my home and in my life in general?

Why am I too weak to loosen the water filters so I can change them out in the hopes of improving the water pressure that has gone to shit in recent weeks? Why am I incapable of laying a nice bead of caulk around a tub to prevent leaks getting to the basement without making a royal mess? Why am I too weak to change the shower head? Why am I emotionally too drained to be a shoulder or an ear to someone else when all I need is a great big man-hug to make me feel better? Why do I get taken by surprise by some things and feel so hurt? Why do I feel shut out from some of my friends lives because I am not part of a couple? Why do I NEED someone if I am not allowed to have them in my life? Much like a compass pointing North, I don't need to see which way the "ring points" to know that those who have captured my heart don't feel the same.

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