Simply because it must be done, but also because I wanna be like Stephen Colbert - here is my workplace on notice list.

1). Rational RequisitePro. How dare you change my settings in M$ word and then sit there all smug not letting me import my files and raping my non-requirement docs that were never even opened in you.
2). Adobe Acrobat updates. Love of God. How is it possible that there is a new update EVERY time I reboot? And when I install one there is suddenly 4 more the next time the machine comes back up?
3). My printer - yea pr-stfjst-c4790 I'm talking to you. Your love affair with the repairman is going to end at the end of my doc martens and your private boot party.

I'm sure there will be more to come.