Mid-life crises are no doubt real. I was emailing with someone I had college classes with and hadn't spoken to in a while, he was a non-traditional student who is now retired. He asked if I was happy. Well doesn't that just get your mind churning?
My mind has returned to that over the past few days and it's really gotten me focused on work. I need to get my world there turned back around (after all I have 20+ years still left to go), but I don't know how to do it. This year has been all about limbo - but it shouldn't mean I am not trying to at least plan a path forward once I get out of that limbo. Heaven knows while the current job is willing to allow me to work remote it isn't a permanent solution. Nevermind the fact that what I'm doing isn't allowing me to immediately and robustly answer that question in the positive.
I'll admit, even before that question was posed of me the ponderings of 'purpose' have been there popping up repeatedly recently. It's then when the tears roll and it isn't that "I'm going to cry now where your eyes close a little as to help the tears form" instead it is the one where fight it as you may a tear just rolls out.