I called mom on Friday night to make sure she'd be around today.  I mentioned to her that an aunt had asked me about us going there for Christmas dinner.  My mother's response about floored me... basically, she was thinking about asking me if I "wanted to go out for Christmas dinner, lots of people do that now a days".  I feel bad making her cook a big meal, and yes, it seems like a waste for just her and I... but go out to eat?  My feelings are wrong and greedy, I know, but... that's not Christmas to me, and I'm going to have plenty of years to go out for Christmas dinner by myself after she's gone.  My second thought is that I was ill prepared to not have another Christmas dinner as I know them, but I guess that happens abruptly to people for numerous reasons.