2012 has been an interesting year.  It seems to be so uneventful at face value, but when I peel back the layers I can tell you it was a year that included...
- Two friends like me, who were sure they'd never find their perfect match, settling into forever:  one got married, the other got engaged and set the date
- Quite a few coworkers leaving the company (some the area), some by their choice some not.  This includes several of the offices that sit empty around me, and 4 people I called friends.
- Friends welcoming new members of their family (fuzzy and non) or the early years with their non-fuzzies.
- Mom turned 80 in January.
- Vixen turned 13 in February.
- The fuzzies have made huge strides this year, with the aid of medication for Vix, in getting along and playing.

A nice mix of good and bad, but if you focus on the people who were truly effected by these changes, none of it about me, which is what this blog is suppose to be about - me.  For me... 2012 is a list of bullet points that aren't suppose to be talked about to the general public, some that are downers and some that I am quite proud of and plan on sharing anyhow because I need something to say about the year that is relevant to me other than going to work and sitting on the couch with fuzzy butts.

Warning:  If you're going to read this and accuse me of bragging then don't read the next little portion.  I've worked hard on some of this and I want to be able to tell someone other than my dog and document when it happened for myself - otherwise it doesn't feel like I've accomplished anything (ahh... back to that no one to share my achievements and joys with feeling).  Besides, you'll be happy to know (if you're of the 'she is bragging' faction) that I'm still miserable with my current state of existence, so if that's what you live for - enjoy.

I'm proud to say that I achieved a few of my personal goals and desires including:
- Being able to cover a trip for me and my beloved niece to Europe when she graduated from high school (see my posts from the end of June).  I think it's safe to say WE had the best time and I'm so happy to have those memories.  She's moved off to college now, and I'm proud to say kicking my butt on grades (at least my undergrad grades).
- Maxing my yearly retirement contributions for the first time ever.  I was excited to realize a few months ago that I'd be able to do it in 2013 then recognized if I pushed a bit I could do it this year, so I did!
- In tandem with the contributions at the end of the year I was also able to celebrate seeing my retirement accrue to a level that I was aiming for by the time I turned 40.
- Early in the year I met another by 40 goal, crossing a threshold in my salary (and with a few years to spare darnit).

I didn't cross the other big one off yet that is on the by 40 list... but I've finally aligned my monthly payments on the mortgage to get VERY close to finishing it before I turn 40 as well.  (That is if I stay here and continue to have work and pay at the pace I'm presently at.)  I'll admit, seeing two households of friends achieve this in 2012 has inspired me to push harder, so I thank them for their inspiration!

The fact is I am obsessive... sometimes, to my own benefit that forces me to get ahead and try to achieve obscene goals that I assign to myself.  But at least I get ahead - so if bad things happen I'm a few months ahead on mortgage payments.

I guess I should mention the downers, if only abstractly.  One happened in February (the 'sickest' I've ever been and the most physical pain I've experienced in my life) but it's definitely remained an ongoing reminder of how precarious what I've grown accustom to could be and how catastrophic (maybe not catastrophic - just completely 180) things could have been.  Another other celebrates a 10 year anniversary that just reopens old wounds and brings me to tears (you know - the worst emotional pain of my life).

I frown a wee bit to think that my dad would have turned 95 late this year, and the 25 year anniversary of his death is just around the corner in June.  But the good from being a bit more mature and able to reflect on those memories has inspired me in new ways.  For example, he kept every 50 cent piece and wheat penny he came across, which has inspired a small coin collection.  On the other hand, he worked for Conrail, so I've been eyeballing some PRR items that I want to pull together as a bit of an homage.

So, here I sit, a few hours before new years, watching CNN (of all things) to see if we should gather our barrels and head to Niagra Falls to head over the cliff with our country.  It could be another nail in the coffin of some (or many) of my goals for 2013 (especially if budget cuts take the toll that takes me from teetering on the edge of no work to take my own tumble over a cliff).  I don't really make resolutions, but there is a lot I'd like to see different in 2013.  Some things are on the docket, which I'll report on as they 'go live'.  Suffice it to say, for those that have known me for a long time, there may be some surprises.

It has a 13 in it.  It's mine, I've claimed it.  Now bring on the good stuff... and Lord help let me just follow the path you lay out instead of fighting to do things on my own and inadvertently circumventing the awesome calm right out of my world.