I'm PMSy and just foul with little petty things.  Combine that with my overall (even when not PMSy) sense of doom and yea, I needed to get a good cry on.  I tried to get it started while out walking tonight.  Heaven knows even the rain held off knowing I just needed to get that time in.  Fortunately I did get some time in with someone worth getting time in with and got it going.  Yea, some sh*t just isn't fair (it remains that way) and other sh*t just compounds it.

Had the horrific realization today too that, duh, I wouldn't be able to buy another place w/o two months worth of pay stubs anyhow.  So that greatly impacts any potential to be elsewhere and gainfully employed.  A big downer and factor in a lot of things.  Did I mention it's not fair?  It definitely isn't fair that I've always tried to pay my own way and here I am fearing the future when others just continue milking off of others to have "what they get".  I still don't know what I'm being punished for, that's the frustrating part.  What did I do to deserve where I am?

I snapped yesterday, tired of waiting for promised help from others and heaved the bed from one room upstairs to the other and got a little organizing done.  The old desk is ready to be given away too, so there was some progress.  I'm not sore yet from the effort, but I suspect I will be tomorrow.  Given these types of situations I need to start only helping those that 1). help themselves and 2). step up when I actually confess I need assistance.  That list of people is quite short... Laws, Eggs, you're 110% safe on that short list.

I was up past 2am last night and tonight isn't shaping up to be more restful.  It's already 11:30, I need to shower, and it's storming - storming hard enough that not only is there thunder and lightning (a hindrance to my sleep) but it's knocking out the Directv, another major detriment to me falling asleep in an expedient manner.  I need another three day weekend, but I hate myself a bit for wishing for it given the current situation.