I'm so very grateful it is Friday, even if it will be a busy and mentally tormenting weekend. I do wish I could shut off part of my brain, just for a few hours. Whether I'm outside earlier this evening putting the last of the mulch down and raking some leaves or scooping poop in the back yard the mind is turning. My sanity is, sadly, way too thin, as thin as it was so many years ago. When I sat for my tattoo the other night my legs were jumping and twitching as badly as they were on those long nights when I laid beside my ex sobbing in heartbreak and dizziness spurred by anxiety.

I don't even have the distraction of facebook to play a game on since my frickin account was compromised. I managed to get it locked down this morning as soon as I realized what was going on, but what a pain in the ass. While I appreciate my friends and family letting me know that they got something that out of whack... after the 30th email and 5th telephone call, it gets a bit old. Shame on those friends who didn't recognize it immediately for a phishing scheme.

Anesthesia - Type O Negative
Like a flash of light in an endless night
Life is trapped between two black entities

'Cause when you love someone, Illusion has begun
No way to prepare, Impending despair

Did one say so cruel...
'Tis better to love and lose
Ignorance is bliss
Wish not knew your kiss
So many times been burned
This lesson goes unlearned
Remember desire - only fuels the fire
Liar!

Betwixed birth and death
Every breath regret
I pity the living
Envy for the dead
Emotionally stunned
In defense - I'm numb
I'd rather not care, then to be aware - Be scared

I don't need love
I don't need love

I don't need love
I don't need love

Are a thousand tears, worth a single smile?
When you give an inch, will they take a mile?
Longing for the past, but dreading the future
If not being used, well then you're a user - and a loser

World reknowned failure at both death and life
Given nothingness, purgatory blight
To run and hide, a cowardly procedure
Options exhausted, except for anesthesia
Anesthesia

I don't feel - anything. Anything.
I don't feel anything. Anything.