Congrats to Beff as she becomes and Aunt once again. I'll forgive her for not pushing me to get more painting done for one night. I do think I will get in gear this evening on my own however, if for no other reason than the distraction.

Sleep has remained ellusive and I'm tired of seeing the clock reading 3 or 4 am before I wipe out. I'm tired - no doubt. I'm ready to fall asleep at 6pm but when I flip off the light and lie back on the pillow I feel like there are things I need to do before I can rest. It's not a mind racing situation like I've experienced in the past - or stomach in my throat and legs jumping like it was when my ex and I split but I do have that feeling in my chest. You know the one that you can only corrolate with your heart breaking?

It's past the broken point, but somehow I remain feeling like the a-hole despite the fact that I am not the one who made the recent decisions to abruptly severe all communications. Yes, I wonder if I'll ever get spoken to again and yes I doubt that there was any genuine interest to begin with. Sure - I've found another prospect, but it's still just a shiney illusion at this point.