Why is it I am always the one who ends up crying? Why do I pick the ones that don't want me... don't feel anything for me?... decide they don't (never did) love me? Every significant male in my life has left a mental scar. Why is it not possible to just stop looking/trying/wanting to find someone?

In years past my traditional pattern took two months to complete. Looks like I've managed to up the ante. Even if it is/was someone that I knew there was 101 reasons to stay away (opinion of friends, warning signs, etc) I actually felt enough of an attraction (which is rare for me) to give it a go. I've spent several years being sucked back in and hurt by someone that I adore and that sucks, but how was this any better than that vicious, fruitless cycle? Perhaps the intangible is easier.