I don't like spelling errors. I really don't like sloppiness. I'm not the best writer, but when word helps by placing nice little squiggly lines under things that removes the excuse. Trying to not have a snap-fit. I really put too much on myself and it is slowly driving me insane.

As to the rest of the day that put me out of pocket and out of control of my own destiny as it were - I was at a wedding which pretty sums up my mood. It was lovely, everyone was happy ... yadda yadda. I need to just stop going to weddings. I'm so truly sick of being single. I feel like the world rubs their happy couple-dom in my face without even trying at this point. More pathetic is lamenting something that would have soon hit a milestone when there is more time passed since the end of that era than there was in it.

On the drive home I'm stuck listening to open house party on the radio since my CD player stopped recognizing there was a CD in the stereo on the way to the wedding (whee - rolls eyes). As they typically do in their banter they mention "those of you heading out to the club". Club? Pfft. Not around here. Then I miss Raleigh again. Then I realize - even if I was in Raleigh I wouldn't have anyone to go out with anyhow. Everyone there would be happily coupled and/or married and lame as hell not wanting to go out anyhow. I'd still be sitting my ass at home whining if I lived there. My pathetic never-happy self was quick to remind me a few miles down the road that at least the weather is nicer.

I just can't plaster on the fake 50/50-selling smile anymore. To anyone who is capable of wandering about with a smile on their face? I guess they say ignorance is bliss.