Bad weekend for the Chiefs - two games, two losses. I am a little surprised and disappointed in the severity of the loss on Saturday night to the Storm (7-3), but against Reading we held our own and played a good game despite the loss.
Today I did my shopping, procuring grub to get me through the week and mayhaps to eat a little better. I really need to get on board with better food and start working out again. I've lost the weight before and can do it again - I just need to get my butt in gear. Mayhaps 20 or 30lbs thinner I'd have a date, at least that's the theory. I was watching specials on the discovery channel the other day on these exceedingly overweight folks. I just don't get it. At what point do you not say "jeez - get off your ass" to yourself. I admit I'm a slacker, but I think I'd rip myself alive if I went over 200lbs much less 3, 4, or 5 hundred.
I don't mean to say there is anything wrong with being heavy, if you are happy with who you are - you have something up on me... so by all means, good for you! It's the folks that make excuses like I heard on this show. "I didn't know that fast food would do this to me." "I don't eat very much" (when they then show what all they eat in a day - I think I'd pop twice easily). The folks waiting for the pill they can take and do nothing else drive me insane. Yes, it would be nice - but seriously people. Don't be such a lazy idiot. Worse still are the ones that undergo gastric by-pass without even trying to loose a single pound "the old fashion way".
I know what I need to do to loose weight, but I also know things need to click in my mind to get on board and be serious about things. I guess in some way I have a mental block on loosing weight again. Last time I did it I started to get told, by the man I loved, that I "didn't have an ass anymore". Clearly he loved me fat - for whatever reason that worked for him. Unfortunately, I'm still trapped by it. In a long discussion with Beff I mentioned the whole shame of weight (as in the physical number), but for the purpose of making a point here, here goes.
I started at 178. Dropped to 143 with hard ass work and watching calories (no bull shit low carb or specialized diets). After bad things happened I allowed myself into old patterns and went back up to 192. How cliche is that? Gladly with minimal effort (walking regularly) in the fall one year since returning to PA I dropped back to 172. I'm right back where I started, ok a little better off, but not much.
Now, where did someone put that key - the one that kick starts my mind in the direction the rest of me wants to go?
"I'm not going down on my knees begging you to adore me. But you see it's misery, and torture for me. -Depeche Mode"
3 comments:
Are you sure those #'s are acurate? I mean, is it just a coincidence that you got oh so close, but not quite to 200lbs. PERHAPS, you should have "ripped yourself alive" by now, eh? Just some friendly advice, you should probably watch your back now that you've offended a great deal of people over 200lbs with your ignorant comments. PERHAPS, they will hunt you down and sit on you!
PS- Perhaps a fat person mistook your magical motivational key for a piece of candy and ate it? You could be locked in lazy slacker fat mode FOREVER!!! muhahaha.
Yes brave anonymous one, those numbers are accurate. And, mayhaps if you had taken the time to read the context of my entire post you'd understand that for _me_ it's those numbers and how I see myself and where I draw my lines in the sand.
The harsh truth is more often than not I hate my body and weight at every weight. I guess some of us are never happy - thus we waste our time feebly attempting to chap others by posting comments to their blogs.
Put the cookie down and - bite me.
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