Like the colors? Yeah they're awful, but they're definitely more me than the perky blues and whites that the blog defaulted to. BLAH!

So for my rant ... Nine years. Today would have been nine years. I can't believe I'm 28 years old, I can't believe I'm ready to get a divorce, I can't believe I'm living in Johnstown again. It's odd to look across a timespan and feel like you stepped through a void which popped you out the other end right back where you started nine years previous, only difference is how OLD you feel!

It's also sad to realize how different your life is NOT without someone than with someone. What's changed around my house? I have less laundry to do that's for sure. But really, what changed? I still fall asleep with the dogs if anyone, I still watch TV alone in the evening, I still grocery shop and/or wander through Value City solo. I still have bills to make sure are being paid, meals to cook, dogs to feed, and bathrooms to clean. I guess I was fortunate in that I had more than one "Best Friend" with whom I could share just about anything. If I hadn't, loosing that solitary one would have been the biggest change.

Sure I still see the username on IM (when I do get to log in) and want to bs, I still notice things in stores that would be the perfect gift, or websites and news stories that should be shared... nothings really changed, except I don't send the IM, buy the gift, or share the site.

Are long term relationships just illusions, designed to make you not notice how old you're getting? Gawd, I sound like Carrie Bradshaw off of Sex in the City. Is that why single people dwell on their age so much more than those that are not single? Well I would fret as I see 30 coming up quickly now, but I'm holding at 28.

While I'm sure there are friends that would read this post and think "great, Judy's getting all bummed again", that's not true. While I'm still not excited about the prospects of the upcoming months, I'm simply telling it like I see it at this point. As I've always said, "Life sucks, get a helmet".