I'm feeling overwhelmed. This post is going to follow my stream of thought on things I need to do and maybe you'll understand better why I am twitching.

My evenings are always loaded with my to do list (cleaning) and things I want to take advantage of (like a free photobook I finished and ordered last night). I realized too that I haven't even touched some of the things I wanted to work on at the house this summer (fixing the one deck post in specific) and here it is already cold as all get out at night. The cold evenings means that my body wants to go into hibernation mode, so getting out of bed has been a bit more of a challenge as of late. With that colder weather my back yard is full of leaves (already). I probably will need to spend a couple of weekends cleaning up outside.

Youth group is spinning back up this week too and I'm already feeling pressured on the things I cannot commit to, much less the things that simply do not interest me. Oh - and if things do progress with Mom's house I know there is more odds and ends there that needs hauled out to donate or to the trash (you know - if I can even get in to do that). (No, I haven't heard anything just yet on that front.) Christmas shopping is also weighing heavily on my mind I need to get in gear with all of that. Because I'm neurotic about trying to pay down my car I am keeping my checking balance rather low, so I FEEL strapped even though I could back off on those payments but I just refuse to.

I just need some time for me and I don't know where that is going to come from. To heck with things I want to do (like process grave photos for find a grave). I need to find time to go take more photos too before the snow starts to fly, so I have a supply for any down time this winter. I have been trying to walk in the evenings which takes up another hour that could be used to complete other tasks, but that isn't even relaxing as all I am doing is thinking about the things I need to do. When I look at the clock in the evening and it's already 10pm and I still have to shower I am ready to scream.

We're coming up against more cliffs and with the question marks about continuing resolutions etc, come October 1 I could easily have more time than I could dream of to do things at home, so I guess I shouldn't be complaining. Can I stop adulting now?