Signs I am old and jaded...

Helping a friend move:
When I was 21 - "free pizza and beer? sure!"
Today my first thought is "I can recommend a moving company."

Someone posts that they are looking to buy something:
My first thought is "ok, do you not have stores in your area?" (Specifically when it's not an overly expensive item brand new.)

Friends post something about their required purchase list for school.
My first thought is "oh hell no. I'll buy what I buy the kid and that is what he/she will write with/on. Matter of fact, if I was _going_ to buy what you specified I might just pick something else out of spite. And don't even get me started on the lists that expect parents to supply paper towels and the like. I've paid school taxes for 16 years in this district now. That buys a lot of paper towels."