Ya know. I still went to the picnic despite very few people going and knowing it would be a family fest that would just make me feel all the worse. Why did I go? Because I miss the old days of it, and somehow I can keep it alive by being there, instead it just kills a part of me that still has hope for some type of happy ending. I also went wondering if presented the opportunity if someone would even bother to speak to me or allow me that one small concession. They didn't, I'm not shocked, but it still saddens me. My reward for a day in the mixed weather (but I blame the sun) was the starts of a migraine.

When pried as to if I'm foul and learning about my shitty weekend and how it brought me down why would you chose to try and make me the asshole - is it a surprise that I didn't think to wish someone a "Happy Father's Day" when I haven't had a father in my life for over 20 years? But I'm such a fuck up that I can't even buy the right flavor or brand of oatmeal. So what do you expect.

"... by definition ..." -Tapping the Vein