I fully admit I am just not equipped for some emotions and yes, when those emotions get tapped I do go flashing back to old pains, but I swear to you people, it isn't all about him. It's mostly about me and the things I feel like I repeatedly do wrong or things that are wrong with me that lead me back to the same angst and anguish.

Yes, this time of year doesn't help - all it does is remind me of those very same past pains - everything from October to March. Yes, six months out of the year herald awful anniversaries. Without a good distraction the bad is visible and, at times, overwhelming. I know I'm healed well enough to move on, even if the ones I want aren't.

Finally, as happy as I may be for my friends - I am still jealous... and yes, I HATE weddings.