I needed this pseudo vacation.  4 days went pretty quick. Granted, I worked for a few hours on Thursday morning, but that allowed me to get a few things done that required the focus I can't get on a normal work day with all of the calls and chat messages.  We went to my favorite egg's aunt/uncles for Thanksgiving about an hour away.  There was a bit of black ice etc around the area.  We made it home without incident, but did pass a fresh hot mess of an accident.  My take for this event was a broccoli salad (since his one aunt that normally makes it wasn't coming) and a cheesy crab dip (which turned out really yummy).

Friday I spent the morning working to clean upstairs (bathrooms and vacuum) and in my bedroom.  I gathered a few things to get rid of, sorted through the gifts that I've bought thus far, and wrapped a majority of them.  We then ran out to make the remainder of the payment on Avery's second year of jiu jitsu/muay thai with their seasonal "deals" on pre-pay.  We watched a movie, had some hot cocoa, and just relaxed.

Saturday we relaxed at a local coffee shop in town and then popped into the library to get the girl more reading material.  Today I got busy downstairs pulling everything out at the front of the living room to vacuum and clean before putting up the tree.  Avery picked to put it in the living room this year rather than the entry hall, which I support so I don't have to move my antique table out there.  I also started filling out the envelopes on my Christmas cards.  I need another 4 days to get other things off of my to do lit.

I want to get up to the mall again to visit with Santa, but I am dreading how busy it will be.  We need to make some Christmas cookies too - that is the best to do, with a built in reward.

The end of November already and I'm so not ready for the holidays.  I'll also freely admit that I've been fighting the non-festive feelings that comes with the holidays a bit early this year.  I'm good, don't worry, just saying the bits of sadness exist.

I'm not going to get gifts I want/can use unless I order them myself; I'm struggling to come up with a gift idea that will make the kid light up (my greatest desire), and I really don't want to do the pile of other gift buying/wrapping and going to gathering after gathering.  I miss having the holidays with Mom.  While I enjoy every moment with the girl I already lament that one day she'll move on and who knows what the holidays will be like then.  I remember like a fresh would a super hard holiday season many many years ago--I recognize if things didn't go the way they did I wouldn't have what I have and I would suffer it all again for her.  I miss living somewhere that I had friends, even if it was rare that there was time that worked out to hang out with them.  Even so, sadness.

Some of it I think comes from the moments where you see yourself getting old.  When work announces two meetings for retirement planning, one for people that are new to mid career and one for people that are in late career, it hits you a bit, especially when they confirm---based on age---that you should attend the later.  When the acid reflux continues to linger, the sinus issues that persist for almost a month turn into a cough (again), when the shooting pain starts in your left shoulder again (after you suffered through that shoulder also freezing last year), when you find a cyst-like bump on your elbow (and admit you watch too much Dr. Pimple Popper), when you see your eyelids starting to look like they're viable for hood surgery, when random pains strike in your feet, and don't forget those samples that had to be punched from your flesh, when your sight is still fuzzy when using your not very old bifocals., when you realize you need to think about a timeline where you'll need a house with less stairs someday.

Work has remained quite busy.  I find myself sympathizing with and recognizing the remarkable beauty of Phil's experience in Groundhog's Day.  We get things moving in the morning, I work, we run to swim or jiu jitsu, we eat, we ready for bed, and repeat.  Sprinkle in some time hanging out with the foster cats (yes, all three are still here).  This just means that precious time is slipping through my fingers.

Where did this year go?  Why and how did I allow myself to miss it?