For a long time before my mother passed I prayed that her time would be peaceful.  I prayed she would be at home and not long-suffering.  Sure, her COPD wasn't ideal, but in the grand scheme when you see people suffer through months of cancer or years of dementia -- I still feel like my prayers were 100% answered.

I find myself saying similar prayers for Saffy.  It's been a bad 24 hours for her and she's really struggling.   She was pacing the room at 5am and didn't go when I brought her down and took her out.  This time she doesn't want to eat, even the  moist food.  I did get some pain meds in her, even though they are supposed to be taken with food, so she is at least resting now instead of trying to pace and slipping/sliding about.

I know it's rare that a decision doesn't need to be made for a pet.  The whole peaceful passing in their sleep thing doesn't tend to happen, but it could, right?  The thought of taking the very best buddy I've had to a vet's office just isn't okay.  I've been through it 3 times.  I watched and tried to comfort Vixen as she fought the sedative.  I sat beside Satin and Danika as they passed, unable to stand up on their own -- Danika in the back of my car thanks to COVID and the vet not allowing people into the building.  I just want Saffy to be here at home.  I suspect a point will come when I know she needs my help and I will of course, do what is right for her so she doesn't suffer, but I hate it.  Here's praying she bounces back like she did this time last year or that resolution comes quickly.  Speaking of last year (yes it was late August), I really thought she was gone then.  Since she's had her struggles, like with her eye and some days were better than others, but she kept pressing on.