The piece of information missing from my post memorializing Safyre is that I wasn't here when it had to happen.  Avery and I were away on a cruise.  In the post prior perhaps you could sense my anxiety which was the uncertainty combined with my upcoming absence.  While she wasn't doing great, she was still doing the stairs w/ me walking behind her and needing a bit more support and encouragement... so I really thought we weren't to that point yet.

Within 36 hours of dropping her (and Zero) at the kennel, shortly after I got to Florida they were calling saying she didn't want to eat.  Then she wasn't standing on her own.  Then a wound on her hip, which I thought was a hot spot, opened up oozing and my favorite egg brought her home from the kennel, spent the night with her, and got her into the vet's office.  While there another wound that we had no idea existed opened up and the vet said they were bed sores.

I was able to video in and see the state she was in.  Hopefully she could hear me and/or see me.  I realized looking at her face that she was definitely hurting and it was time.  I'm grateful my favorite egg was able to be there with her since I wasn't, but I'm so heartbroken I wasn't there when she needed me.

Our trip was good, I'll post more about that after I've had a bit more time, and maybe that way was the best for me long term.  This one really really hurts.