I'm a dreamer - again!  I hadn't realized how long it has been since I last remembered dreams upon my waking, but now that I have two days in a row it feels like forever.  I guess I just haven't been sleeping well for that long.

Even if they were weird dreams, I'll take them.  It feels good.  I've missed you dear other 'dimension'.

I shouldn't have phrased my last post as "completed" as we all know, nothing is ever done.  The sink base, counter top, and tile went in.  I had to have them back to replace a cracked tile and to fix spots in the grout that were lacking.  That was last Friday.  Since then we've been struggling with everything else.

The light is finally in, despite the box being one that was made for a switch and having had wood screws put into it (go Maronda).  The faucet went in, but because the water feed lines the builders used had such huge ends, they wouldn't go up into the granite far enough to meet the faucet stems.  If they had been the normal ones ya'll probably have and can find in the local hardware store they would have been fine.  Now, I can't change to those (at least not easily) because the shut off valves are the ones that you have to pull to turn off and those feeds are connected into those.  We tried extenders on the stems, but they're leaking.  Time to apply more plumbers tape and pray for no rain.

Drilling through the glass tile also required a special bit, which is quite taxing to use on my sad little drill.  Doing a test drill on a piece of extra tile killed one battery and the other battery died doing the first real hole for the mirror.  Now we wait to re-charge.  We also realized that the mounting components we selected won't work with the 1/2" hole we made, as they'll need more, so we'll need to find something else.

I thought "I'll do something quick and easy to feel like I'm making progress".  Yeah, the replacement toilet flush handle is all janky and wobbly when put into place.  So that's coming back out and getting returned - back to the white one.

If I can get past this crap maybe I'll be motivated enough to remove the towel and toilet paper holders and change them out. I have a funny feeling those will tick me off too.

The scale dropped back down again, no worries.  I'm under one milestone now - but still many more pounds to go.  Slow and steady.

No other disasters, thank goodness, since my last report.  Travel for work went well enough and both Avery and I survived our three days of separation.

Today is a big one!  After 2 1/2 years in this house, the minor upgrade to the 1/2 bath is being completed today!  The ugly pedestal sink is gone, the plain stock mirror is gone.  My new floating vanity (yay for a little storage) with a granite top is going in.  Glass tiles will go up the wall behind that vanity/mirror.  A new mirror, light, and fixtures fill finish it off.  It's a small job, but an expensive one.  Bathrooms always are, right?  I am a bit nervous to see all of my components/selections come together.

I need a bubble this weekend.  Everything seems to be near disaster, including that whole thing with the wallet, which we picked up Saturday morning and I'm happy to report was 100% intact.

Tonight while we were out back and Avery was playing in her pool, she tried to grab my phone from the chair.   Ended up then knocking it into the pool when I tried to stop her.  Thank the Lord for the S7 water resistance.  The sound is a bit wonky right now, but I'm hoping and praying that will dry and be back to normal.

I also want an explanation of how I can be sticking to my calories as per my lost it app and working out to be doubly-ensure my calories are under the intake -- but yet this morning I popped back up by a pound and a half from yesterday.  What.  the. hell.  I worked out for an hour earlier today - but I had some ice cream at the pastor's welcome this afternoon, so I need to get back on for another half an hour tonight.  I admit, the ice cream was a bit of wallowing in seeing that weight increase this morning.  It's too easy to feel so defeated.

All I wanted was some fresh veggies.  I went to the cecil farmers market for the first time.  I dunno why I didn't get there before this, it just kept slipping my mind.  Well, I went tonight.  I came home with beets, corn, cabbage, honey, and green beans... But not my wallet.

I can't believe this.  It is so unlike me. I know where and how it happened.  I froze my one credit card, and killed the other along with my debit card.  I had just put my new drivers license in it so I wouldn't forget it for a car rental next week.

It also took until hours later for me to realize.  Fortunately, by then Avery was in bed so I had the ability to fully panic.  I tried hard in prayer to put it down, asking to trust in Him, that He would put it in the hands of one of His people or turn the heart of someone if they picked it up with malice.  I know that I can trust Him, but it is hard to not freak for me.  I need to get better at letting go of control of the uncontrollable - without these types of lessons.

Long story short, if you don't have an emergency contact card in your wallet you should for many reasons.  In this case, so the people who find your wallet have someone to call to reach you.  My wallet is safe, literally - in a safe - at one of the farms.  Road trip tomorrow!

God you are good.  I am truly not worthy of the mercy you show me every day.  Forgive me for my worry, allow my trust in you to be dominant of any anxiety.

Progress.  I've been sticking to my goals.  Yeah, it's only been a week, but it's the getting started that is the hardest.

I ended up getting a detox shake thing from my chiropractor.  I've learned one thing:  I do NOT like the taste of chai latte.  Bleh.  10 days.  I can get through it, right?  At least that's my attitude today (day 3) which is two shakes.  Ask me again after a couple three shake days.  It isn't a meal replacement, but it does pack a punch.  They also advocate avoiding dairy and limiting fruit to 2 servings a day.  There is also an expectation to get your protein intake up.  As with anything, it wants you to drink a lot of water - which is always a big challenge for me.

I've also been tracking calories in general and working out.  The scale is showing 5 pounds down already.  I suspect some of that is eliminating bloating and other things.  That is a crazy pace for the first week and couple of days. Considering my pipe dream weight loss is 33lbs by Christmas, that seems like an excellent start.

It is however disheartening to watch the daily calorie intake limit shrink as your weight shrinks.  It'll get hard.  I know this from experience.

I finally started to work out and track my food intake with some diligence.  It's time.  The weight needs to come off.  I need to not have the possibilities of health problems on my mind.  I'm doing it for me - because I want to feel better (perhaps it will help my back and knee pain and I think I will sleep better too).    But I'm also doing it for Avery.  She deserves a Mummy that can truly keep up with her as she gets bigger and faster.  She deserves to have me around as long as possible, even though the years when I'm driving her crazy.  Back to me - I deserve to get to see her grow up.  Being overweight doesn't align with that last goal.

There is a new carpenter bee hole on the underside of the roof over the deck. I'm very not happy.  After sealing it last year to stop them, what else am I supposed to do?

More on the glass sink...
https://jsgoceana.com/product/oasis-rectangle-undermount/

the short version:
I ordered the "fawn" glass sink via Home Depot (best price I found w/ return options), despite not seeing it in person.  It should be here tomorrow.  Fingers crossed.

the long version:
I tried calling the closest supplier listed on the supplier's website and they only carried one sink, not in the colors I was considering.  I tried several other places that had no clue what I was talking about, that they didn't carry their products and even one place that was a gift store.  Keep in mind that all of them are listed on the website linked above as showroom.  I digress.  I then called the actual place in Jeannette, an hour from me.  They could 'schedule me an appointment' to see their products.  At that point, after several calls, two hours on the road was not appealing to me.

I decided to say screw it and order it from Home Depot.  Conveniently the ship to my house had free shipping and would arrive before the ship to store would!  According to their website I also have 90 days to return it to the store.  If I don't like it or don't think it matches my counter and/or wall tile it will go back and I'll order a black undermount sink from Amazon.  Done.

The next big stress:  How to properly mount the floating cabinet securely that it can handle the weight of the countertop and the sink.  Also odd is that the sink manufacturer's installation guidance indicates you're to screw these brackets into the counter top.  Into ... granite.  Uh?  The good news here is that the countertop provider will do the install of my sink and the counter, so I'd put that 'on them'.

I've had a few days "off" trying to use my vacation time up that is use it or lose it.  I can't say I feel like I've had time off.  This isn't good use of 'vacation' time.  Yes, I've gotten some things done, but others still seem to languish and all the while there remains looming dread of the things waiting for me.

I can say that I stopped at a granite place and picked the granite I want for the half bath.  I've been on the hunt to figure out what to do about the sink given the loss of what I thought was a done deal and with worry over the care and maintenance of copper started looking for something else with pizzazz, or, at a minimum not the 'white or biscuit' options that seem prolific.  Well get this:  glass - shatter proof glass.  Gorgeous.  Made right in Jeannette PA.  I am hoping and praying that one place they list as a retailer in Washington has their products in stock so I can check them out (making good use of tomorrow as a day off) without needing to drive to Jeannette.  I need to load up some of the wall tile I plan to use, and the sample of granite to take with me.  Admittedly they're a bit pricey compared to 'white or biscuit', especially the one of the two colors, but I'm psyched about it and really hopeful that when I see it in person I'll be confident and happy.

I have another expense coming, more yard work/plants (to replace the ones that didn't survive the winter *sigh*).  I weeded again last night and today, filling two dog food bags without being meticulous.  There are some weeds that are just trying to take over - and that doesn't even include the frelling creeper vine that needs attacked out back before it takes over and destroys the bushes and another tree.

I've also been indulging in season 15 of Grey's Anatomy which popped onto Netflix.  It really is true what they say, binge-watching a show isn't great for your mental health.  I feel drained.

I feel like such a slacker.  These attempts to use up the vacation time I would otherwise lose hasn't been easy.  I did a bunch of running today, did 3 loads of laundry, cleaned the kitchen floor, and vacuumed downstairs.  What will I do tomorrow?  What about Monday?  What about Friday of next week? What about the other day I probably need to take?  I am sincerely hoping I can allow myself to unwind enough to take a nap at some point, that would be delightful.

Tonight we headed to the south hills to catch up with my favorite egg's parents and sister who were nearby.  It's been a while since that whole circle was in a single space.

I hit the chiropractor earlier in the week and left with homework.  Part of it is recording my food intake (partially because I mentioned a few things that has her helping me to diagnose a few things), which is good for me right now - it's making me mindful of what I'm eating at a time when I am shifting my brain to weight loss mode and very mindful of how little water I am consuming - which is bad.  The other part is to start taking magnesium and - to get a massage.  It's hard to get scheduled here for a massage.  The one person everyone recommends is usually booked two months out.  The chiro recommended someone else and I am booked for Monday.

I used the treadmill on Saturday and Sunday.  I even did a few minutes on the eliptical on Saturday before the screen wigged out.  I'm pretty sure it needed a new battery (how weird is it that something like that wouldn't plug in? - how much crazier is it that in all of the years I've owned it the battery has lasted?!).  When I took it apart to replace the batteries the one was a bit corroded.  I swapped them, but didn't hop back on the thing to see if it resolved the issue.

I need to get on top of this soon and make it more of a regular occurrence.  I also took the remainder of nap time on Sunday to get some art hung on the walls in that room.  I'm hoping it will 'warm it up' a bit and make me want to stick around longer.

I'm still struggling to get the vacation time achieved that I must before July.  I'm bound to have a few days in the next few weeks where I'm looking for something to do rather than sit at my desk.  Perhaps this is the time to try and focus on logging some time.

The latest health challenge at work started off by encouraging us to get more sleep. I couldn't agree more. I'm always desperately tired. I don't know why it takes them telling me I need sleep to feel like I'm in a competition where I want to get to bed early so I can track reasonable hours of sleep. Of course none of this matters if I simply can't fall asleep or awake in the middle of the night all of my "effort" will be lost.

I'm feeling very overwhelmed again. I guess that's what happens whenever you are understaffed - and nowhere near short of tasks. It's depressing to see one of my co-workers that I was working closely with leave the company. It is also a little disheartening to hear that somebody that's critical to establishing systems in a manner that would keep me employed is also preparing to leave.

It's been a long time, but I'm finally updating my resume. Even if I have no intention of sending it anywhere at this point in time it's therapeutic updated and reassess my current situation.

This past weekend I also prepared the fourth bedroom, clearing the collection of junk away.  I can once again get to the treadmill and elliptical trainer. Now what are my excuses?  For now I see this is progress forward. I'm hoping that this means that my mind is starting to get ready to make a substantial change as well. I really need to get weight off again.  And I know working out will make me feel better and give you more energy while making me rest better too.

Update on the neighbor from my previous post:  I did my best to take the higher road and to reply kindly. However it's clear from this person's subsequent post that they are eager and looking for an argument. I did my best - I kept my mouth shut and I blocked them. It isn't as therapeutic as other options would have been but I know it was the best route.