I really need to learn how to carve the sentimental, caring side out of my heart and mind. I get one email and I feel like asking a million questions. How are you, how's work, what's new, but most of all.... are you happy? As much as I'd dislike the current situation to be the key to happiness, I do want to hear a yes, at some point on that question. Sadly, I don't know anything about him anymore.

I remember knowing every detail (or at least thinking I did) and now... to not have a clue what he's doing or learning or experiencing, and it seems so strange. This needs shaken soon. Hell we've been apart longer than we were actually married. I can't even say I can 'count' the six and a half years together prior. At least I tamed myself down to simply sharing photos of the girls... I know he still cares about that.

While catching up on a few people's blogs today I realized that several of my friends are utterly amazing people... there are many more, but I've selected these three to tell my tale:

Take the Laws, those two do everything - they've remodeled just about everything in their house, and it all looks stunning. They taught us how to brew wine, Brian deserves the title master craftsman for his woodworking and his websites, Angela is a gourmet chef. They're in a constant rotation of at least 3 bands (that number is low right now)... oh, and did I mention that Angela MADE her own bass? They both work 40 hour weeks and are raising a rugrat. Yes, they're amazing - and yeah, sometimes they make me ill :P

Then there is Christine. She's taken so many classes and lessons and is so dedicated to them. It doesn't matter if you're my age and you never learned how to do something - just go learn. She's also exceedingly dedicated to her workout routines (and now, going to the hockey games too - my fault). How someone so vibrant can keep her inner freak so contained kind of creeps me out at times. I'll get her into that vibrant red dress someday. She's so busy but yet she's able to be there for me whenever I need someone to talk to or hang out with. It's not easy to be a good friend 24-7.

Now, this realization hit me when I was checking out Joe's latest toon so I simply must include him in the three. This is another guy that amazes me. He's done development work on the side beyond his 40 hour plus job as well as all of the remodeling HE does which is also beyond words. He's an artsy guy, but he's also technical, you've got to respect that. He's been married, been divorced, and was a pillar of strength for me while I was still in NC unsure which way to turn. He's got the gothy dark side that I so enjoy being around, but he remains an upbeat and entertaining guy. He knows good wine, and has knows how to _love_ a good piece of chocolate.

That said, I started to think about myself and how boring I was when I realized that's not entirely the case. A couple years ago I was kind of boring, but I was too focused on that time on doing things 'together' which really limited the places I went, the things I did, the skills/talents/entertainment I explored. What do these three examples show me? Well, one is a couple another is a single female and another is a (semi)single male. I guess what it shows me is that my status with the opposite sex doesn't really matter, as long as your life is full... and by that I don't mean so busy that you can't think, but full in the sense of satisfaction and exploration of the things you want to do.

Ah, the camp roster - at last. Only one name on there that we weren't expecting to see and that is of a George Bradley. So, 23 guys at camp, 3 of which are goalies. Still no word on who's getting pushed down.

"But you know, I was looking around your apartment the other day. Know what I saw? I saw figure skates. -The Zambonis"

Instead of giving me the camp line up I see they've signed two more. Two more rookie forwards, Chris Fournier and Matt Reid... hmm. Most other teams are keeping trimmed back until they see what trickles down, so I'm trying to think like Toby would be. All I can figure is he plans on using a few for wheel-and-deal transactions that could give us people if we urgently need them down the line this season.

Well the buttocks injury is fine. I don't know what my deal is. I must just be getting old. Next time I'll stretch before I bowl *rolls eyes* how pathetic. I've been fighting with my sinuses this week too - so I'm puffy and snotty and stuffy. Quite the attractive look I'm sure. Couple that with the zits I have and additional puffiness from other issues ... I'm a HOTTIE. *laugh*

On other fronts, the chimney is now cleaned, and I think the thermostat is working correctly again, at least it did the past two nights. I forgot to turn the heat off this morning so let's hope it works correctly all day or the dogs will probably be in an 80 degree house when I get home. Now I need to seal up the upstairs windows and get a cover on the apartment air conditioner and I should be ready for winter.

Hockey is surprisingly quiet despite all the things that will be ramping up. I'm hoping I'll get to post a camp roster sometime today *ahem* Last time I did that it worked, so let's see if I'm lucky again. I'm also surprised I haven't seen names of the people we're getting pressed upon us from Springfield or Cleveland. Maybe the numbers will be lower than expected (hopefully). I'd rather see us whoop on Reading and Wheeling without the help of AHLers, it would be so much more glorious of a victory.

"Remember, you promised me... I'm dying, I'm dying, please. -Hole"

One week before camp starts and I end up on IR after sustaining an ass injury while bowling. What a world. So yeah, I expect to be gimping tomorrow. Pathetic enough I can't even blame my AWFUL scores on the injury as it didn't happen til the second game. It was a bad night that got worse, in a funny kind of way.

I now also know what it's like to be on stage at Jerry Springer. Funny what you get when you mix an ex, a chemically imbalanced pathological liar/nutjob, an ice cream sundae, and my "fat, unfortunate-looking ass". I probably shouldn't entertain the cruel tendancies I have when dealing with an instable individual - but I just can't help it, it's too damn funny. As I've pointed out to other people in the past, if I'm so awful and ugly and fat and...whatever else you think I am, then why do you waste your time worrying about what I'm doing, what I'm wearing, who I'm with etc?

If I am chopped into bits and found in the trees by my house I'll be sure to remind a few close friends of the name of the probable suspect.

I love my puppies I love my puppies I love my puppies. Ok... I've convinced myself of this and can now turn down the opportunity to work in the Netherlands for 6 or 18 months. Besides, that would run right through hockey season.

Wow, three posts - one day. You'd swear I had something important to say.

Just a few little tidbits and speculation from this evening's meeting to share. It's official, Growden opted to retire and Langager went back to school. We're looking at 4 to 8 being dropped ot us from the Falcons and only 2 or 3 from Cleveland.

As was noted on other sites earlier today PL was released from Hershey. Damn shame too, being that the word is he scored the first goal of the game right prior. *rolls eyes* I guess he was a bit upset... rightfully so. You, and several others deserve to be up there, you're all just victims of timing this season. Of course, there is likely to be other victims of this season... especially after all these ppl get pushed down and we're forced to make cuts. *fingers crossed* You can do it hottie.

"Well I guess it ain't easy doing nothing at all. But hey man free rides just don't come along every day! -Offspring"

And my question gets answered... so it's all at the WM, but they don't start til after the circus has wheeled out.

2004 Johnstown Chiefs Training Camp Schedule
Sunday October 10 Players arrive in Johnstown; physicals
Monday October 11 On ice 1:00 p.m.-3:45 p.m.
Tuesday October 12 On ice 10:00 a.m.-12:00 p.m.
Wednesday October 13 On ice 10:00 a.m.-12:00 p.m.
Thursday October 14 On ice 11:00 a.m.-11:45 a.m.; Game vs. Wheeling @ Harmarville (7:00 p.m.)
Friday October 15 On ice 10:00 a.m. – 12:45 p.m.
Saturday October 16 On ice 11:00 a.m.-11:45 a.m.; Game @ Wheeling (7:30 p.m.)
Sunday October 17 OFF

The Chiefs will begin their regular practice schedule on Monday, October 18th when they take the ice daily from 10:00 a.m. – 12:00 p.m.

Ticket for preseason game procured. *woot* I'm seeing a lot of places putting out information on their exact training camp schedules. We've been trying to guess how the Chiefs will work around the circus and other things at the war memorial and if they'll end up abusing planet ice.

I get to go to the dentist today before the fan club meeting. Hopefully we won't be finding any other fillings which need replaced. I loathe the dentist and the pain they represent. It's not that the fillings even hurt like I remember them to from childhood. Now, as an adult, the worst part is the smell of the burning tooth as it's being drilled. *shudder*

Made calls to find someone to clean the fireplace and for another to clean and inspect my furnaces. I wonder how costly this is going to be. Ever see the movie money pit? I haven't fallen through the floor... yet. This stuff just needs to wrap up soon, as I won't have quite the income I use to in a few months.

"Wish that I could find a place to hideaway. -Fuel"

Know what tonight feels like? Like one of the cool, rainy, Saturdays at UPJ when we'd pull out a VHS, wander to the tuck shop - and grab some fries, swedish fish or gummy sharks, and a pint of Ben and Jerry's. Mmm, sharing Ben and Jerry's with a movie, a dark room, and a few sheets. I can't be the only one who misses the "good old days" from time to time. I guess I'm reminded of this partially because Jurassic Park is on TV, one of the movies along w/ the Crow, and a few others that were used in this ritual quite often.

Johnstown is too lonely sometimes. I miss who I thought I was. I miss even more what I thought you were.

It's really nice to plop down on the couch for a minute after bustling about all morning. The house is fairly clean now, and I've also provided bigger and better accomodations for Bates, my betta fish. I even got him a neighbor (another male), who is yet to be named, although... if I go with the theme and my lack of creativity you can guess what I'll end up naming him. Two male entities in what use to be an all female house. It's like re-aligning karma or something. :)

I did some reading on betta fish last night, so I feel a lot more knowledgable about them. When I first got Bates he would make all kinds of bubbles. Turns out that is his 'nest' which he makes to prepare for eggs should a lady happen by. Since he hasn't been nesting lately, that supported my theory that he was sad. Hopefully the larger container, cutsey leafy thing to 'lean' on (which I now know they like), and the company to 'flare up' at and strut his stuff will get him bubbling again.

I've been told I'm not updating often enough. Well there just isn't much to say. I am proud as I got into one of the smaller sets of clothing today, it's my Trinity-style suit, quite bitchin. Of course, we're going to Ground Round for lunch, so I won't be fitting into it for long.

One week til camp opens up - woohoo!

And.. AH - October at last. My favorite month, which I refuse to allow to be sullied by mistakes made in years past during this season. May you rot like the leaves as they fall to the ground. *smile* Have a nice day!

"And baby when you care, then I will be there, by your side. -Lasgo"