Rainy days and mondays always get me down. That should be my song for this entry, but I don't have it as an mp3. Oddly the rain was coming in at a 45 degree angle over lunch today. Ick. The rain must stop soon! I keep trying to tell my mind that the flowers will be here soon, but I'm losing the fight to trick myself.

If it stays winter in Johnstown, can we start hockey season early?

"Tramps like us, baby we were born to run. -B. Springsteen"

It's cold in Johnstown again. Blah. I guess it could be worse, right? At least I didn't awake to 3 inches of snow.

It's Easter. It's been a few years since I bothered with baskets - not like I need the huge wad of candy sitting around the house.

I wish we could somehow find the enthusiasm we once had for Easter and Christmas - the child-like enthusiasm. Instead, the typical Easter celebration just makes me want to cry. We did have a nice dinner, but just looking around the jammed tables not only was it odd to be at the 'adult' table in my family, but I also realized how not like that part of my family I am. It's funny how just an aunt away makes so much difference. Her kids have kids that are teenagers or older - and the girls are just so darn thin and cute. Hell one was even a hooter's girl. They all seemed so happy. It made me want to yack - and yes I fought back tears of self-loathing a few times during dinner.

No hard feelings to them at all, but again I've realized it's going to be a very long time before holidays are enjoyed. Happiness at the holidays to me means family, but this wasn't the type of family that does it... it's a family I can call my own, even if it doesn't involve children.

I know, I know... I keep waffling between wanting to find Mr. Forever and just seeing what is out there in this great big world. Maybe it's just the fear and the harsh awareness that there isn't much out there around Johnstown.

These thoughts of course also allowed me to ponder further the behaviors of guys who are very nice and gentle by nature who feel the need to put on the face of someone else when they're out in the world. What makes someone who comes from a town with 'Upper' in the name claim they were trailor trash? Why does someone choose to be a smart ass goon in front of people when they're a softspoken gentle creature one-on-one? So do you know the person they are acting to be or the person? Do they have anything in common?

So, would Easter weekend be complete without attending some local wrestling action. Oddly enough, I spent this evening at the KCW matches here in Altoona (Keystone Championship Wrestling). Okay. I've seen it all now. Gee, I wonder why the hockey players don't wreel their arms and flail like the "pro" wrestlers do when they fight. It was an interesting evening to say the least, at least it was packed with things to laugh at.

I was accused of not focusing enough on 'cake' in my blog recently. I can only attribute this to my attempts (once again) to lose weight. But given that the Japanese/sushi place in Altoona isn't open on the weekends *how stupid is that* mom and I went to the Olive Garden. Yes, needless to say, my weakness exposed I did consume a piece of the black tie mousse cake. As always - to die for. Olive Garden is your favorite restaurant, right? I'll be sure to take you there for some cake someday.

Now, back to hockey... *smile* I see Reading actually managed to pull of a second win against Wheeling. This kind of scares me. Sorry Reading, if it's not my boys there I've got to cheer for Wheeling to win this round.

Mmm, hanging out with family tomorrow. Interesting.

It's Friday. While I'm normally thrilled by the weekend, this one is tempered a little with disappointment that I have no reason to be leaving work early today on a quest to watch my boys kick some ice in Wheeling. Wheeling beat Reading in the first of their series last night, and San Jose (the Chiefs are affiliated with them) took a one game lead in OT against the Blues. Other than that there is little important in hockey land.

Another dumb thing I ponder. If _I_ were a hockey player, would I search the Internet for my own name?

On a bright but dim note, I think some major issues were resolved last night. Long story short, timing is everything, and when it's off sometimes it slices at you with razor claws. So we agreed on two things at once. Singledom wouldn't be so bad if you had guarantees on finding Mr. Right, or if you knew that Mr. Right would be available when the time was right.

"It's a competitive world. Everything counts in large amounts. -Depeche Mode"

So that "pacific blue metallic" 4Runner did have something to do with you. Hmm.

Time to watch your favorite, and one of my favorite teams make a run at the first round. Of course Nashville let me down, let's hope the Avs won't.

"Going down to southpark, gonna have myself a time."

Stress stress stress. I don't know why I feel so anxious today. My stomach is just jumping around and it's starting to get annoying. The more often this happens the more I freak myself out because I'm starting to think I have some kind of sixth sense. The killer is not knowing if it's an indicator of a good or bad thing. Sometimes the feeling precedes something that could be considered both.

With much thanks to Kathy I have a copy of someone else's picture of Richard w/ his palm-tree date. A photo worth sharing.

Well, tonight's game options definitely tell me I picked wisely in saying I'll probably watch the Avs vs. Dallas. To heck w/ Boston, Montreal, Nashville, and especially Detroit :P The Vancouver-Calgary game could be good, but I don't appear to get that station. *rats*

Ok, just for humor (keep in mind I haven't watched much NHL this year - I've been too busy w/ the local games) here's my guesses...
Tampa Bay vs. NY Islanders = Tampa Bay
Boston vs. Montreal = Montreal
Philly vs. New Jersey = New Jersey (sadly)
Toronto vs. Ottawa = Ottawa
Detroit vs. Nashville = Detroit (VERY sadly)
San Jose vs. St. Louis = San Jose - it would be cool to see the Chief's affiliate roll.
Vancouver vs. Calgary = Vancouver
Colorado vs. Dallas = Colorado (I hope)

At least the Stanley cup playoffs will keep me preoccupied for a few more weeks.

"It's funny how I find myself, in love with you. -No Doubt"

Well another sad night. Walking in the visiting teams' locker room for the fan club meeting, and seeing the line of the Chiefs' helmets and gear was quite depressing. I guess they're all heading out in the next day or so. Can't blame them - I wouldn't want to hang around the gaping wound either.

It's just so sad.
See you next fall guys.

*sigh*

In an effort to prolong hockey in my own mind a little further, and mayhaps to lessen the withdrawl, I guess I'll be trying to find a bar w/ the Avs/Stars game on on Wednesday. Most of the NHL teams I like are far from playoff material this year, at least the Avs slid in there.

Now, if I could just find people that want to go hang out. SHEESH. Slackers.

"Go'on baby and get the lighta we gonna start the fire. -No Doubt"

I'm not going to whine... I already did my share of crying. We didn't start to play until the second period, by then it was too late. I must say I was surprised to see Patzold in goal. And, I'm extra sad to know that Currie and Paulie didn't get to play in the last game of the season. So if you didn't gather it from my tone, we lost to Reading, 2-1.

Well at least I did get to talk to Paul for a minute between periods. He's such a sweetie. I really liked the spiked red hair with the suit and tie. You better be back next year hottie. *smile*

WE LOVE YOU CHIEFS... each and every one of you. Thank you for everything you put out there for us, your fans. You don't need the cup to be winners in our eyes, and we look forward to welcoming everyone back again next year.

"I believe in you. -Evanescence"

Went to see Miracle last night. Good flick. I know the Chiefs saw it when it first opened here in Jtown, but I'm thinking it's too bad they didn't all go see it today, just to get pumped for tomorrow's game.

We've taken Reading out before, but anything can happen when it all rides on one game.
Can't wait - can't wait!

I'm sitting here watching the Pens vs. the Crapitals... in the hopes that mayhaps Bates will make some stunning appearances to whoop on the Penguins. At least that will keep me entertained until I exit and head to the Haven to hang with some peeps. I really need to run a perminant telephone line to the living room. Cables everywhere is really no way to live.

The dogs are peaceful, quite the rare occasion. We had snow today (can you believe that crap) so they did some running outside, it's the only thing I can figure must have them down and out at the moment.

"Give me a reason to hold to what we've got, there must be a reason. -Ian Van Dahl"

Reading it is. You're going down Reading... and you're next Wheeling.

Well the Chiefs lost in a shootout to Reading this evening. I'll just blame it on the craziness of neither Paulie or Zehr being in the game. *grumble*

Quite disappointing, but we all know Reading and Trenton (tomorrow's game) will be hungry to try and slide into that 5th place spot. That means game on Monday night at the War Memorial to determine if our boys will be playing in the first full round. BE THERE!

Now, factor in that Demo got suspended for two games... wth?

Looks like Paulie will be sitting out tonight's game from what I understand. We also signed another defenseman, so I'm curious how that will play things out on the long term of maintaining members of the current team. I know just from conversations through the party this past monday that there are a few opinions on who they want to stick around, who will stick around, and who does and doesn't fit in well with the team. I guess time will tell. In the mean time it's time to get pumped for playoffs... even if it does look like we aren't in a super cushy spot going in.

I think it's going to be a pretty odd weekend, as for once I don't have a ton to do, no games, no plans to hang out with anyone... maybe I'll actually get some work done on my final paper. I think that would be highly recommended!

"So I'll wait, as I always wait, as I always wish for something more. -Tapping the Vein"